Forgive my immortality
I know you'd love to see me dead
But this love has made me invincible
And filled my heart with dread
But here's to all the lies
To everything that I once knew as truth
And I promise that I'm fine
I just want to be with you
And believe me when I say
I've loved you all along
It hurts so much to pretend
That I'm really moving on
But baby now I see
How you truly feel
You say that you still love me
But tell me, is it real?
And as you hold my heart
Within your hands
I'll tell you that I'm sorry
I just hope you'll understand
But why are all these lies
Becoming all I hear
Every single day
I wonder if you care
And darling wont you help me
As I swallow all these pills
I just want to escape to a reality
That doesn't seem so real
And now I'm falling faster
Than I've ever fell before
And I'm waiting for the crash
As my body hits the floor
Forgive my immortality
I know you'd love to see me dead
And I'm pulling the trigger
With the gun placed to my head
And I know that it's impossible
But I just want to die
Forgive my immortality
And every single lie
Author notes
Bored, but I think I kinda like it...?
A contest entry
- Filled with emotion, any kind of poetry by Vidasmoke.
675 points, ended July 14, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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When I first started reading this, I was skeptical about whether or not I would like it. But the end great. It flowed well at most times in my head, and overall I enjoyed it.
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almost made me cry
hehe
its moving and i can relate vary well
good luck
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This was a sad, dark write. I hope your o.k. sniff sniff.
good luck in the contest. -
I starting reading this, and I must say, after the first two lines I was completely hooked. It flows and rhymes beautifully, almost like it was effortless. One of the best poems I've read in a long time, it makes reading all the ones I'm not so fond of worth it, finally reading this one. I really, really liked it. Great job!
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I like it.
Excellent flow and rhyme.
I don't like suicide but this was beautiful and graceful. It really just flowed.
Thank you for the entry!
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A very emotional write, I could realte to as well. Though the emotion overwhelmed and actually brought a tear to my eye, this is one of the best writes I have read in a long time. The flows was beautiful and it read as smooth as the ocean's tranquil surf.
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Forgive my immortality,I know you'd love to see me dead...That's just an awesome grouping of words.So many feelings(not the least of which GREAT sarcasm)
set forth so quickly!
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AAAHHH!!! i love this poem!! (again)...wow.
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wow im impressed! very well done allie!! you have gotten so much better at writing gosh u make me look bad lol! iloveyou!! <33
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!!!!
Amazing! Such emotion! Such a wonderful poem! ^^
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amazing.
This is really great, it wasnt I expected, but that's good, it was a great twist.
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WOW...this is wonderful, I'm no sure what else there is to say about it. great write, very touching, truly magnificent.
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nice
This is sad to me. It is very well written and the flow
and rhyme is very good.I enjoyed this piece very much.
Very deep. Keep writing !
Carolyn
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ouch! that hurt.
that was amazing! the imagery, the flow, and most of all the thought.
Forgive my immortality
I know you'd love to see me dead
that was so deep. it hurt me to read this, the expression just overcame me, and i love it for everything it contains. you did a beautiful job expressing heartfelt pain and bringing out emotions here.
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You should like it, it's good. It has a very smooth and quick flow, nothing too stumble the reader with. Sounds quite a bit like a song. Nice work MisJudged. Best wishes
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