Four AM
Dawnlit moonshine
Still air sleeping
Cities burn bright
In his feathers
Runs the wind
In his talons blood dries
.
They say freedom
Won’t come cheap
Live by bloodshed
Die by teeth
Up above
The atmosphere
Yes it’s the worth the price up here!
NIGHT FLIER
in the stars and the moon at the top of the world
SKY RULER
to be monarch of all that he sees he is free
kill to live
live to be
the only one
so truly thee
soon the blood
in your feathers will fall
and soon the world beneath will rise to meet you
as you
dive to the earth
letting go of control
for the moment is yours
and the moment you own
you are the lord
you are your kingdom
a beat of your wings sends you to the horizon
.
Bites the hand
Which dares to feed
Flies from pride
Runs from need
Sun bursts out
He worships Ra
Inside the clouds
He is God!
Never home
Never alone
Love’s black gaze is blind to thee
Never tied up
Never tied down
Free
Now dive to the earth
let go of control
throw faith to the wind
the wind is your home
Your are the priest
Your are the God
Your are the murderer
You are the law
No one can take this
Take it away from you
to tame
to break
to gentle
to destroy
taking the proud beast and making a toy
.
NIGHT FLIER
sky king
wind runner
lord within
Inhuman
Impure
Raw power
Raw joy
A celebration of life and death
Dance until you have no breath
Fly until your wings break apart
Fighting
And winning
Defeating
Destroying
Earning your freedom with bloodied claws
Till the day you lose your touch
Die as you live
As you live
As you live
Live
LIVE
die
LIVE
die
LIVE
in a moment of unbridled fury and lust
joy mixed with wonder
adrenilane
rush
LIVE
by others blood and savage claw
screaming with energy taken from Hell
DIE for,
your single life
is a thousand
FREE
Author notes
Seriously, ^^ Give me feedback! Positive, negative, I need both. And CRIT. Please. Things I'm already aware of and don't care: It's cheesy. I... I like it that way.
Is... is... it terrible? (-serious.)
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Fete the Feta
1st stanza OK. Nice last line in that context, the extra 2 syllables especially so.
And then it takes off.. (clap, clap)
"Flees from pride" rather than "flies" (shades of Beezalbubby?)
"Tie me up, tie me down" - was this a reference to the film (I presume so, and applaud).
{I don't think it's cheesy, unless one means to uindicate the strong bones that come with calcium intake, and becalmed temperament?}
The reference I take to be toward the Eagle, although (perhaps given who I am, and an archetypal image many another on this site identify towards) the vampiric reference also appeals of interpretive understanding.
Not bad - may view more of thine later, perhaps with greater critique of poetic technique. (
).
ciao4now,
MA.


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Terrible....... NEVER!
While the rhyme did range in style, the language couldn't of been better. It truly was an amazing piece that made me feel higher then life. I do wish you would of did something different with the periods. All together I do love the poem. You are an absolutely wonderful poet. Never stop writing.
Katie
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AWLSOME
omg that is so awlsome the onl part i didnt like is the ending its kinda hard to under stand other that that this poem is awlsome keep up the good work

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Thankyou. =3
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A thought provoking peice. The imagery and flow are nice. Its an original point. Good job!
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thank you. <3 Your comment makes me happy. =3
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