hun i'm going to miss you
when i have to leave your side
to fight for my country
and serve for those i love
i'm going to protect this nation
and still love you ever true
to warn those facing battle
and still come home to you
the love that you have shown me
is enough to make it through
to keep my spirit fighting
and keep my body strong
i will always love you hun
no matter what shall come
my heart will always beat for you
even when the battle is done
just know that one thing's true
all the things i give to you
i give to you to come back to
so you know i must come home to you
i love you hun
i hope you know
that when this all is through
that times will be easier
six long years
yet six short years
and two weeks here and there
that i will get to be home with you
my heart resides
only with you
and this much i know
i'm willing to prove
hang in there hun
for i'll soon be home
and when i'm back you will see
my heart will still be true
i love you sweatheart
and that will not change
my love will always be for you
always love be true
Author notes
this was written for my girlfriend about when i go to the navy
A contest entry
- Wuthering Heights (The Drama of Love) by Rosemary Stroebel.
700 points, ended December 12, 2006, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Nicely done
This is a beautiful love poem with a good even flow.
With poetry there are so many things to look at, the layout, rhyme or free verse style, grammar, punctuation and of course the use of capital where appropriate.
I am aware not every person is a typist by trade, however I feel that a poem should carry all the necessary attributes to assist in enhancing the read. Small typing errors is something I do overlook as it is easy to press the wrong letter.
All in all this is a truly beautiful poem.
Rosemary -
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that was really excellent, sincere and over all awww! i loved it!! it was absoulutly beautiful!!!!! excellent job!!
~ Lovey 
-
this is really sweet, and well intended. i know someone who has a man in her life who has his heart set on the marines...so i can see where you're coming from.
yet, the flow or rhythm seems to be somewhat dissonant. it is complete as far as words are concerned, but i feel that the effect could've been made stronger if it was rearranged somehow.
ok, now my favorite part:
"my heart resides
only with you
and this much i know
i'm willing to prove"
that's a strong promise there, laying within those words. this stanza was awesome, and beautful.
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