This maybe the hardest thing to say,
goodbye to you,
leave a love at bay.
I never betrayed you,
I don't have the heart,
but you wouldn't give me the time to start.
I gave you my heart,
and gave you my soul,
but never was it good enough.
You thought I was your ex,
but why would I be when I couldn't stand her?
I couldn't do that to you, for I love you.
What can I do to make you see,
that our life together was meant to be.
You sent me over the edge,
I sit here with the daggers end,
the sharp point into my chest,
all I need to do is push in the rest.
I push a bit harder,
and the pain I can't feel,
but crimson ink runs down my flesh.
I never want to be with anyone else,
So thanks for pushing me to the test.
Goodbye forever and ever......
Here's to the end.
Author notes
Definatly reminds of relationships that hurt like hell.
- A Cyber Cafe for the In Love Looking a group list • next in list
- The Loaf That Loves You group list • next in list
A contest entry
- ღLove/Heart Break Letters!!ღ by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended December 26, 2006, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I want to know everything that you have to say.
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
-
This is exactly how I felt about my ex
He just broke up with me for another like I meant nothing so I understand this great job pen on poet
-
Disturbing, You made me cry!
You poor dear!
No one else is worth your life.
I hope things get better for you, and fast!
-
Yeah that's like... man. Poems that I can't explain how I feel about them are really good. I understand it and know what it's saying...but I can't comment on it exactly. I'm so close to this point but so far away as well but it's ust a great poem. thanks for sharing it with us all.
-
Woah really painful and emotional. The imagery is so wonderful. Very depressing. "I never want to be with anyone else" Great. Thanks for sharing with the group.
-
aaaaaaaah, this is so sad, but I love it cause she is taken control of her own life! Nice job!
-
I think you have written a piece that is easy for most readers to relate to. Most of us have been in similar situations. Unfortunately, there are times that people just can't walk away from past experiences and insist on bringing all the baggage with them.
-
Loved the poem. It flows very nicely. I've been in a relationship (that has ended) where it felt exactly like that, so I can relate plenty. Good job
-
awwwwww
i really enjoted this.
it is really nice! -
Wow! Deep...definately a painful relatioship crisis! And I can definately relate! Your flow of words was great...Great read but an even more awesomer write!!!
-
Dark Deep and Powerful
Hmmm. This is depressing and dark. A man, [or woman ] pushed 'over the edge.' There is a lot of hurt, on both sides here. She does not believe you when you say certain things to her.
She holds you up against her ex. Judges you against what he did to her. You cannot make her understand that you, are not him. She refuses to listen. This, results in you saying goodbye and taking your life.
This piece had everything - as far as this situation is concerned. It had all the mistrust, the drama, the arguements [ which I am sure did happen]. There was nothing wrong with this piece that I could tell. Wonderful writing. Keep it up.
-
great
verry panifilled poem... verry well writen it feels a little short to me though -
Gushes of pain...spilt over a canvas for all to see,your hurt and talent.....Brava!
-
Wow this piece is rife with heartache i hope that things for you are better now and back on track.... Very powerful piece here rich imagery and your emotions and feelings were delivered well.
Timmy S. Edgar © 2007
-
"I sit here with the daggers end,
the sharp point into my chest,
all I need to do is push in the rest" i could imagine that very well a sort of desperate questioning, like something that seems so easy could take so much thought if you know what i mean i like how you ended it too, "heres to the end" short at sweet wrapped it up well
keep it up
Nay x -
wow it makes me feel depressed thats really good but i think im gonna go crawl in a corner and die lol *sniff* bye
-
I feel your pain, hun.
Here's to the end!
-
Very dramatic write with lot's of emotions.Very sad write.
~Snappy~ -
wow i really like this i almost commited suicide cause my ex fiancee left me but that was like 9 months ago and i havent been able to get over it but lately i have been dating other girls so i am gettting there and reading this poem it explains everything. i wish i could write like this, if you would please go to my page and comment my poems
-
ooooooooooooooooooooooo
I can feel the torture you went through because of this relationship. I don't really know what to say about it, but I like the last line...it makes it seem more final, obviously.
You spelled a word wrong. I tend to find the spelling errors in written work, even though I am not the most grammatically inclined..I just do.
You spelled ment instead of meant.
I'm glad you expressed the personal experience you were involved in. Keep it up. -
This has to be one of the best ive EVEr rea
-
lovely I relate to this in my very own way
-
wow! this is so sad, and emotional!
Everything is epressed so wonderfully though.
This is just a great piece of work!
Congratulations, on awoderful job. So many people have proberbly experienced similar feelings, betryal and heartbreak.
The ending was great. I loved the read!
~Beks~
-
Amazing
Wow what can I say...This was such a beautiful write and it reminded me of past relationships and how much it hurt me...Love can be beautiful but damn it can be so painful
Thank you for sharing this with us
Much Love
Tessa -
This is very good
this is a beautiful piece you've written here sister. it really touched something inside of me... i think it's called a heart. (lol) I love this!
Love you, sis
Lizzy
-
A lot of emotion is in this and I'm sure that many can relate. Liked the rhyming in some places. Short but meaningful. Thanks for entering and good luck.
-
Hmmm...very interesting...kind of a cliche, but still good.
-
damn, how is it that you've experienced exactly what i have?? this is a great expression of how relationships do in reality hurt like hell. excellent write, great job!!
-
O_O Damn girly
I love this poem...
Yeah love sucks big time and it can make people do the craziest things, but death isn't worth it at all. If he's the type of guy who would hurt you for someone else or in fact hurt you at all...then you need to just leave him be because you deserve better and can do better than he...
But if you you're not talking about yourself in the peice then you definately know how to portray that type of relationship because honey I know what it's like but I never did get to the point of wanting to kill myself. that's just stupidity lol
anyways, great work! I loved it x infinity. I'll definately be reading more of your works in the near future.
~Kat
-
Betrayal is the most painful thing. I think you've portrayed that very well. Relationships don't sometime end up like we depict it. But keep the chin up and move on... I know that's easier said than done.
have a nice day.
†Sky† -
man thats so awesome, i relate completely i had a messy one like that trust me it gets so much better keep ya head up
good luck in the comp
-
i know what you mean about relationships that hurt like hell. i've experince that pain before and i don't want to have to go through it again. but i love the way you express the pain i this poem. i like how you used a knife. when i felt that pain i wanted to jump in front of a car. yet i survive the pain and others and you will too. return the favor.
~Dani~ -
Damn.... Thats good.
-
I know the feeling, i felt all the emotions in this. It really hurts to know how much you love someone and they take you for granted. Good job.
-
wow !
sadly i can relate to the feelings that poems showing
an amazing write !!
Adding your comment:
1 - 34 of 34
