How different am I? Very much,
from those you met just yesterday?
Who told you, with a look or touch,
how very much they'd like to stay?
You saw they weren't made just right,
and knew your paths must soon diverge.
You moved in quite a different way,
compelled by such a different urge.
They swore they loved you, ev'ry one.
You smiled and, sorrowed, turned aside;
cast down your eyes so not to see
the aching hurt they fought to hide.
You told them it was just no use,
could only cause distress and pain.
And, as you watched them leave, you knew
that they would only come again.
Along your narrow path of fire
you marched, with steps so straight and true
and never loved, with all your heart,
another one so well as you.
Down mirror-marbled halls of time
the fly specked past reflects again.
When will this awesome lesson end?
When truth and pleasure conquer pain.
I am exactly what I seem,
and everything I say is true.
And I will come again, my love,
until I can be one with you.
A contest entry
- I want your BEST prewrites!! by perfectsunset.
1000 points, ended April 24, 2008, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Askew by whispernthedark.
875 points, ended October 7, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Frankenstein's monster! by BeachBum1.
670 points, ended July 21, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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stunning
I thought this was amazing! I loved the line compelled by such a different urge! that was such a brillant line! thank-you so much for entering good luck
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This seems to be an almost torturous existence. Great write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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Lovely write!!! Thanks for entering & best of luck
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again you've caught me looking in the mirror at myself.
though i know this is more you than I.. I appreciate it for all its worth.
Thank you again for sharing your writes, for sharing your views, for sharing... you
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Mmm
This seems to me to be a perjorative poem about someone who totally loves themself.I got this feeling from the verse beginning "along your narrow path, etc".
If you are in love with this image, well, it's either you in the mirror or another love for which you need a cure...
This sounds very harsh and I'm a bit shit faced, but this is what I took from the poem. ps - loved "the fly specked past reflects again" - bloody brilliant. And before you complain (!!) this is a 3 clapppp X
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great
this is an amazing poem, and reminds me of a situation i know of. this is well written and full of emotion, great write. keep on writing such amazing poems,
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Beautiful
This is a different take on a love poem. You love and the other does not show their feelings. A hard one to cope with, for are they scared or is there more hiding behind the looks not met.
You have written this personal poem with wonderful flow and rhythm and the rhyme scheme enhances the write, making for a great read.
A lovely poem and I can only wish you luck in this regard.
Rosemary
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