The valley has the stare of a host, eyes the color of mirror
and you thought, just a nanosecond before you blinked,
that porous bodies of snowflakes were attacking.
Dead grasses, like dead mouse tail, pointing
at the starless sky licking the tops of trees.
Branches like arm bones at odd angles
weave night into their skeletal web.
Ugliness is beautiful, just before we find we worship
a cold god of strange things; a god within striking
distance framed and separated by double glass.
Emptiness of husks have their own howl
if you were small enough to listen
or window not sound-proofed.
Warmth, prior to the shiver at the sight of drifting
seeping towards any lamb’s bloodless door
and someone is too blame for mocking
reflection; light behind the shadow
that whispers, “Come! Welcome!
There is shelter here,” to the sparrow
who hits his own image
in the window pane.
In a list
A contest entry
- #86 Write me something sad ~ prompted by Frodofan by Willy Winkler.
650 points, ended December 16, 2006, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Congratulations! :)
coming back to leave my thoughts...
WOW at the imagery used here, strong language skills and metaphors. And your surprise twist at ending hit me over the head! I actually had tears at the image inflicted
You've answered this challange of sad in a big way.
Let the ink flow!
blessings
Sandi


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Tks
such is life sometimes...there are those stark moments of shock that such could happen..... lessons to learn, always.
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those of you who know me, know I do not typically write sad things....but there is a time to honor all feelings...sadness, joy, anger, peace....to honor them, I beleive, is to allow them not to build or be denied.
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Powerful Imagery
I think after reading this one I will just go out and shoot myself. Geeze...How did I stumble into this downer place? Must have took a wrong turn on my way to jump off a cliff. This poem certainly measures up for this little contest. Although, why would anyone wanna create or be in a contest like this is beyond me. There is too much sadness in the real world without creating more here. But, that is just me. Great Write! ~PeacE~GarY~ -
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Awwwwwwww
If you were to read most of my poetry...most is far from sadness...it take a lot to get me to write sad pieces....
This piece is more about shock than sadness I think...the shock that makes us know that not all is as it seems. Not denying it gives one power over what we may meet ourselves..unlike the sparrow, we typically learn from a good smack...lol....peace....
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"Ugliness is beautiful, just before we find we worship
a cold god of strange things; a god within striking
distance framed and separated by double glass."
You tangle your words around each other with a sharpness that I just became aware existed. I admire this write. It's beautiful and flawless. Well thought out and intelligent. Good Job!
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word tangling
You know that is a great ocmpliment to me. I do not like it when same old, same old, comes out...I typically hope that what does come out, is unique or fresh in some way.
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"Branches like arm bones at odd angles weave night into their skeletal web." Gorgeous penning, my Friend...Brilliant, stark & lovely...profound far beyond belief...Good luck in the contest, Sweetie...
Wanda


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tks, my friend
I have been working hard at saying and seeig things differently..my own little challenge for msyelf.
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