paper rainbows torn to tatters
paper rainbows soaked in tears
such deep mourning; nothing matters
braced by care: at last no fears
paper rainbows soaked in tears
food for souls placed on hearts' platters
braced by care; at last no fears
shed stark sorrow; pain that shatters
food for souls placed on heart's platters
such deep mourning; nothing matters
shed stark sorrow; pain that shatters
paper rainbows torn to tatters
myra
Author notes
Allow sorrow to cure. Although Christmas for me as a practising Believer, is a time of peace and joy, I also remember the sorrow He had suffered during his life on earth and on the Cross, and recall the sorrow caused in my own life, and the lives of those I have met during my time on earth.
I decided to write my poem in the Pantoum form, for the repetition leads to the reinforcement of the strong emotions carried by this poem.
Pantoum: Rhyming or nonrhyming Malaysian poetry form, structured as follows:
Stanza 1: lines 1, 2, 3, 4;
Stanza 2: lines 1.2, new, 1.4, new
Stanza 3: lines 2.2, 1.3, 2.4, 1.1
PhotoArt: Myra 2006 -- IntroMe
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 77 of 77
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I love this, you have a fabulous way with words. Now I am so intrigued that I must imagine something decent enough to try this form with.
Thank you so much for showing the way and providing such great inspiration.
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Thank you for reading my work.
I truly appreciate it.
This poem is very special to me, for I wrote it after a very trying year (2006) and the first Christmas approaching without my children's father -- he died on February 21, 2006. -
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I am sorry to hear of this loss, it must have been with a heavy heart that you penned this piece. Life is a trying thing at times and even if it pains me to say only the most adept truly do thrive.
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Amazing!
I love it! Deep poem, and brilliant structure. I love the format of this poem!
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Dearest Poet
I am glad you are back! Now you should start writing again ... Please do.
Thank you for your comment. Yes, the pantoum is a favorite of mine. It simply has this mesmerizing repetition that reinforces the underlying message. On saying that, I just want to stress the fact that sorrow in my own life always brought me to a kind of a plateau, where emotions settled for a faraway view ... A future perspective, so to speak. Then "nothing matters" anymore, and the pain becomes a beautiful, albeit plaintive, song, awaiting its eternal echo of joy ... THIS is what this poem is about: when the one in mourning finds deep inside the strength to continue without fear, having a focus point Beyond.
Thank you also for letting me read my own poetry again. I tend not to.
Love
Myra -
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=)
I'm glad to be back as well. I've written a few Haiku for contests, care to check them out?
I've never heard of that style before. Where did the pantoum originate?
The sorrow is evident in your poem, you do wonderfully conveying it. God bless, and stay strong =)
Yours in Christ
-SilverQ -
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I will do so ...
Would love to read.
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Though we could all do without it i'm sure, sorrow is a part of life, I beleieve so that we can learn how to comfort each other. We were put here to be here for each other to make this life easier for all of us. I wouldn't change a things...it's beautiful just the way it is...Just like our Myrataal! ~Lurie
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We come a long way, Friend ...
And yes, we are linked in love and compassion ...
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excellent read
great flow, precision and brevity...wonderful example of poetry...one for the bookmark to hug for life -
this is a really good Pantoum.
I like this kind. It shows a sense of sorrow, which I kinda find that to be the poem's purpose. It's sad if you think about it. It's still good. The picture above is really good. Pen on, Dear Poet. Pen on!
Dax
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Wonderful...
I have enjoyed the reading of this magnificent Pantoum.
In admiration,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
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very well done! it's an intriguing form, and carried your message well.
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This has long been a favorite form with me, though difficult to master. I thought this was quite exceptional and so wonderfully done! Loved it....
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This is a lovely piece. It has beautiful imagery and brings a silent tear to the eye. Very nicely done and keep writing.
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Excellent
'tis a very fine write, indeed. You always express your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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Your words reflect the patterns in your mind and heart. Experience when dealt with properly, leads to awareness and awareness may lead to wisdom. I believe this is the case in all poetry you write - you do not write fiction. You put the money where your mouth is, because also in your work, awareness is the key in your relentless effort to better this world. Light is in all you do, in all you are. I tremendously admire the way you conduct your life. Thank you for creating and sharing. Ack.
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I have never heard of that particular stanza form but it was definitely something that caught my attention immediately. Very beautiful. (:
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a good form piece, ah christmas time, it is so mad these days with all the commercial glitter... a good reminder to people, a form that sighs along the eyes, and runs down the cheek.
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i love it, never read anything like it before. Truly took my breath away.
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Rainbows always remind me of God and all creation, hope comes to mind when I see a rainbow,paper rainbows torn to tatter is very profound. a perfect fit for such a perfect poem God bless my friend
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Hmm....paper rainbows.What a beautiful thought in my head.I loved this.The use of metaphor was devine,as was everything else.Amazing work.
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wow. wow.
oh my gosh, this has to be one of the best poems I have read in a long time! Gorgeous! i love the metaphors, and just the way it makes you feel. I don't know. I just know that this is REALLY good!! [[teChNiCoLoR sOuL]]
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Thank you for the link to this lovely poem. Paper Rainbows is such a beautiful, thought provoking title. Thanks too for reading and commenting on my work.
mary -
not quite what ui was looking for, it wasnt very clearly about christmas or winter!! but it was still a good poem, i especially likied the very first stnaza, after that i found it difficult to folloe. but thanks for entering my contest. best of lucckk.
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A Cultural Communication Gap ...
Ah, I can understand that you cannot relate: Christmas in South Africa is not during winter time, but in our mid-summer. But this poem is about wintry feelings, about sorrow.
As for metaphoric references: the metaphor "paper rainbows" refers to the strings of crinkled paper that we used to decorate the ceilings and walls during Christmas time. Those happy memories are easily torn by sorrow. Christmas time is world wide known for a very unhappy time by those who suffer from loneliness and depression. That is then the reference to "shed stark sorrow" -- for Christ brought us hope and healing. I hope you may understand the poem better now.
This form, the pantoum, is usually written for its repetitive reinforcement of the message as well as the musical beauty thereof. It is therefor also a chant for healing, so to speak, as it desensitizes both reader and writer. You should read the pantoum with your "ears" and with your "inner eye" -- with your soul.
Thank you for taking the time to read this explanation.
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i am not really commenting on anyone at the moment, due to most of the time i speak i offend/harrass or so it is claimed so...
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Well, Ian, you have NEVER offended ME in ANY way ...
... and I give you FIVE STARS FOR THAT. Thank you for being a master poet and a friend.
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I feel deep sorrow and think you have mastered the pantoum. I don't even try it because it scares me.
anyway, good job. I enjoyed the read.
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Please try the Pantoum ...
... it is so easy.
You write beautiful poetry and you will write a wondrous pantoum.
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Beautiful
This was perfect! It really related to the picture, and the flow was great. It was like many sentences, not one big story, but they all interrelate. It was a please to read. It made me think a lot about my Catholic faith, and other people who are suffering. Maybe not as Jesus is soon going to do, but suffering in small ways; ways that I can help.
I really enjoyed this.
~Holly~
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We are reminded ...
... that suffering is only temporary and that we may follow the example of Jesus. I am often told: YOU ARE NOT JESUS. And yes, I am not, but I strive to become like Him more and more for the soul reason that I love Him intensely. I want to share that love with others, too, being an example of His Light. Thank you for your deep comment.
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Agreed
I totally agree.
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Good
Though I've yet to create poetry in this style, it is good to be able to write as many stanzas as you wish. "Paper Rainbows" for one reason or another brought me to a scripture. "Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place, and there He prayed" (Mark 1:35 NKJV).
The Man did many things, including taking time for Himself.
Christmas is an old practice and every song has been heard a hundred times over. For this reason, write a new Christmas song for all to sing. Experience Christmas in a new way and remember that Mass is taking place. And certainly, allow sorrow to cure.
Have a merry Christmas and a sparkling New Year
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You fill my heart with Joy!
Thank you for the warm comment and blessings. You truly fill my heart with joy.
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In coming to reality all our dreams are so often shattered. But in that process sometimes we learn something deeper. So we tear the paper. But the meaning of it remains.
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You have said it perfectly!
How sharp you are -- and how clever. I did not misjudge you at all.
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Sighhhhhhhhhhh!! My dear Myra, this is beautiful, full of pain and emotion, this brought tears to my eyes. I have to admit, I love the title you have picked for this poem. It's a stunner! All the best in the contest.
Love,
Charishma -
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Such a compassionate response ...
on a poem filled with my innermost sorrow ... and acceptance. Thank you for understanding. I read your work and I saw that you are also sensitive to the hidden messages so openly displayed by nature ...
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your words sound like the lyrics to a song.
very beautifully done, yet so very sad.
i enjoyed your write and keep on sharing your talent.
joyce
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Sometimes ...
... we need but let go and let God. It gives a feeling of intense peace.
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Great! Fantastic!
What you describe about your poetic form and rhyme,
you have indeed accomplished it. And then some! -
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The pantoum ...
... just works well with sorrowful and melancholic poetry. But of course, Muses change, and moods change. So the constant is the form.
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Excellent
You are a master of this form. There is so much emotion embedded within this work that it touches the hearts of the secular as well as the hearts of believers. At this time of year, we need to be reminded of the great sacrifice God made for our redemption and the pain Christ willingly suffered on the cross for our sake.
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Well expressed!
How excellent your expression of the message of this poem. Neatly, and within a few lines, you summed up the core of the matter. Well done.
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very powerful!the torn and tattered is somthing that grabs me
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To write about agony ...
... may enhance the rose and soften the thorn. It is all a matter of perspective. Thank you for reading.
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AWESOME
I LOVE THE PIECE. IT IS SAD, BUT AS I READ YOUR AUTHORS COMMENTS, I UNDERSTAND. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS
POETDONTKNOWIT
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The importance of sorrow ...
... is often overlooked. Almost every situation of suffering may be turned into expansion of the soul.
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Fabulous use of this form. This piece could definitely be sung. It has great meter. It is full of emotion and just captivates you as you read it. Good luck in the contest. --->pixxie<---
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You have sung it within your soul ...
... and now it is YOURS. Take it and become part of the powerful impact of Love.
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The intensity of your emotion is nigh on overwhelming. I'm reminded of the old saying... you cant appreciate the view from the mountain top unless you've seen the valley. Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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Leo, if there is ONE thing I am obstinate about ...
... then it is NOT to allow darkness to overwhelm me. The Light is not my own: its Source is divine.
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Meaningful
All life leads to death... suffering tempers the soul... thank you for walking with us...
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We will walk together ...
... right into Eternity and then we will soar. Thank YOU for the celebration of recognition (as our co-poet Chris refers to it).
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why wait? Soar now...
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All will be well, angel. The immaculate white Light contains all colors; they can never be stolen. Perhaps only temporarily be obscured. The illusion from which we suffer in this realm of pain is destined to pass. After that it will sink in nightmares and memories. After that it will vanish in oblivion. It will leave only Light to all there will be. Ack,
Chris
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How I await with eagerness ...
... the demonstration of His return! Aku cinta kue, beloved Soul
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The repetition leaves a resounding echo in your head, the feeling is so wonderfully expressed too. Sometimes sorrow needs to be embraced for it to be understood. It made me feel sad but in a good way, becasue of the power of your words.
Keep up the good work and thank you for comenting on Roses, it was such a nice comment. I'm glad you could understand the meaning and fully appreciate it.
Fe x
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Connected!
By poetry we become connected to the souls of other poets. In a way your Roses is a more visual poem on the very same topic that I addressed in Paper Rainbows: sorrow carries the healing component in its very core. Thank you Fiona, for understanding this so well.
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This is beautiful Myra. Your soul is consistently full of light. You are so devotional and always share your love for Christ with such peaceful passion that no one could deny it.
Blessings to you and yours...
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Ah, Zayra, forever ...
Your blessings caused such warmth in my soul, you beautiful, timeless Being! Thank you for not forgetting me and my labor of love. And I did NOT forget your lovely voice and words. But as you know, this is a hectic time of the year.
May you have a wondrous Festive Season, beloved Zayra.
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I absolutely adore the form of this write ... very stunning ... rhythmatic ... diffantely ... and the flow was awesome ... you really put it out there for everyone to see a part of you ... and it's great ... thank you for allowing everyone to read such a beautiful piece ... keep writting and good luck in the contest sweetheart
Smile, It Confuzez People
<3 Sparkeh -
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You caused a big grin ...
... by saying: Smile, it confuses people. Hahahahaha I often find that TEARS confuse people. I am a compassionate cry-baby.
And a passionate grinner, too. Thank you for reading my work and for the zesty comment.
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I will read it again in the morning with a fresh mind. Thank you for reading my work. I am pleased that you enjoyed it. It is one that I recently posted. I hope you'll look at some of the older ones I have. Thank You
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A reread sometimes brings hidden secrets:
and secrets lead to intimacy and connectivity ... This is how we form a collective consciousness in and by poetry.
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Interesting
I love the way you do this, Still learning the style, I am suprised that it makes so much sense, Yiou are good at this type of poetry
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I have send your link ...
... to a South African in Iraq; you are such a deep person. Perhaps you will meet him one day. I do hope so.
Thank you for reading my work.
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Send Women my addy I know Lot of Guys even a fews South Africans.
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although the repetition distracted me at times, this is a very good write. the repetition does work wonders for it as well. keep writing dear!
--Melissa -
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You should just drift with the words, the repetition must be the moan of the wind in the loft ...
On reading poetry, watch out for repetition. It says much of the writing soul. It also carries its ancient chant. It revibrates within your soul.
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Where did this come from. Is it something from the past that came out through these words. I wonder because they seem a little different.
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Great
I agree with another comment, I could definetly see this being a song. It's very sad, and while my mind searches for its meaning, I have to admite I don't know what it's truly about. But that's often the best poetry. It's for you to know, and for the reader to ponder about. And that's one of the best parts of reading poetry, is taking the words how you want to. Great job here, and keep it up! OH - I also like the repeated lines. It added an emphasis and odd feeling to the poem. -
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Repetition is a great way of reinforcing the message
... and also of echoing the important sentiments send to the reader. The pantoum asks for sharp and focused lines -- each line should be able to stand on its own. It should be enlightment of the soul. Thank you for noticing.
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This feels like a very sad song. The repetition of the words "nothing matters" echoes in my brain. It seems you have sufferred a tremendous loss. I will have you in my prayers. Good luck with the contest. This is heart-breaking. Best wishes to you. Thanks for sharing.
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I suffered several tremendous losses ...
... yet I gained Eternal life. Is that not divine Intervention?
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