Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Lost Hope

I stand in awe of a raging sea
With hand clasped full of lifeless earth.

Then, Tiny grains of sand
Fall through my hand
Carried away by the wind
I feel as though I will never mend.

The waves pluck the grains from the sky
my body has slowly become dry
meaningless words pass through my mind
I have no time left to bide.

With my hand raised, my lips part to speak words of love
But no strength, no hope, no answer comes from up above
Alas, the strength leaves my hand
It falls, and becomes as sand.

Life no longer in charge, I am free
My body left for the water, a plaything for the surf.

Author notes

Never deprive someone of hope-- it may be all they have got. - Unknown

a day that i died and not even my haven could offer me refuge.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • Virgoan
    April 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like the thought of this. It needs a little tweaking specially the usage of excessive articles. My opinion, your call

    Try to edit your piece once in a while. All poets do that - 'time will prove how powerful a piece can be'.

    Thanks for sharing and keep writing.

    HENSLEY


  • Riftkin gold member
    August 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    nice poem for a hurtfilled contest
    this is in a lot of contests so I will
    just wish you the best of luck


  • Naridill gold member
    August 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow, lots of contests very nicely penned, the opening is perfect and couldnt have been done better.
    Thanks for entering.
    Much luck.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very sad image... Well, that I can see of it anyway and how I interpet it. I have often thought of that, how you have to let others hold onto hope as that may be all they have. I know at times that's been the case with me, so I learn from myself and do unto others as I wish to be done to me, or not done to me as the case seems to deem.


  • EvenStarsBreak--x
    May 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    both beautiful and sad at the same time... good job... and thanks for entering my contest... ^-^


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    May 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write but vry sad.
    Thank you for entering the contest.
    Good Luck

  • JM Kenyon silver member
    May 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Nice, inspiring, nature personified write. I like the natural metaphors of life and nature very much.

    s and best wishes always... ~Genie~

    Note: Due to high volume of entries, I'll be using a scoring system to judge after the contest closes.


  • sharkofdhoom
    May 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i can tell you are proud of this poem...you put it in so many contests! . anyways it's a very well written poem and you should def. be proud of it. good job and good luck.


  • JesusFreakNBandGeek
    April 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was quite good. It didnt exactly make me smile, but it was good nonetheless. Good job. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest!


  • perfect relief
    March 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. The symbolism is great. I love the rhyme scheme that you have used, especially the split between the first and last stanza...It makes your poem more interesting that way. The colors are also indicative of the feel of your poem. I like how everything is so connected. It flows so well. I really do love the sea and it's nice to know that somebody else thinks of it as a haven. Thank you for entering and the best of luck to you.


  • Laura
    March 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Life no longer in charge, I am free
    My body left for the water, a plaything for the surf.
    great way to end..great imagery and use of volcab well done
    good luck in my contest
    laura xx

  • dove4365
    February 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Really good poem this. I agree with Nutty Alchemist that it's depressing, I found the imagery throughout and at the end to be very effective.


  • Bruised.Roses
    February 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was a great ppoem..it was a pleasure to read and just breath taking...the few lines that you wrote were very powerful and emotional keep writting your very talented


  • my savior-pedro
    February 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is a good poem, and well written....but, no offense, this isnt exactly what i was lookin for in this contest. i'm sorry. plz dont be mad..... good luck tho.


  • bakacoconut
    February 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is depressing. I've felt this way several times. The imagery used in this poem was amazing, and the overall effect was beautiful. Best of luck in the contest and thanks for entering.

    Cheers,
    Coconut

1 - 15 of 15