It won’t be same
on Christmas this year.
Our family is missing
someone who was dear.
My son-in-law left us
the 23rd of September,
leaving us torn and lonely
this cold, bleak December.
We’re still living in shock,
we still don‘t understand.
Why his life ended this way,
by his very own hand.
Each day, I sit thinking
if I’d just had a clue,
Then maybe I’d have known
exactly what to do.
Christmas is so near,
just a few weeks away.
We won’t feel the same,
as we should on that day.
We won’t have his smile,
or that endless long story,
of when he was a child,
relishing in Christmas’s glory.
We’ll still put up the tree
and we’ll string all the lights.
We’ll still sing Christmas carols
on a sad Christmas Eve night.
We’ll eat ham and deviled eggs,
the ones he always loved so much.
But the thing we’ll miss most,
will be simply his touch.
There’s no more sparkling eyes,
not one hug or one kiss.
It is HIM the girls need,
it’s their Daddy they miss.
They’ve told me the only thing
that they’ve wanted this year,
is simply to have Daddy back,
just have Daddy be near.
I wish things had been different,
it’s a wish I can’t forget,
on this heartbreaking Christmas,
our loneliest Christmas yet.
What do you say to the child
left alone with no dad?
The pain in their hearts
leaves us feeling so sad.
I tell them that their Daddy
will be here promptly at seven,
He’ll visit on Christmas,
as an angel from Heaven.
He will watch as they wake
and find Santa has come.
He'll watch them play dollies
and beat that pestering drum!
A new tradition now begins,
Christmas Eve we’ll light a candle
and we’ll leave it burning
on the fireplace mantle.
We’ll sit and share memories,
so listen closely, you’ll hear it.
Our way of keeping him near us
and remembering his spirit.
Author notes
As some of you already know, my son-in-law, Dwaine, took his own life Sept. 23, 2006. This is our first Christmas without him. It will be a painful one indeed. Our daughter is doing well, trying to be in the spirit of the holiday for the sake of her babies, but the painful reminder that he is gone will come crashing down on Christmas morning, the first Christmas for their baby daughter.
1. Losing a loved one
In a list
- ~Rhyme • next in list
- ~Christmas • next in list
- ~Gold • next in list
- ~Silver • next in list
- ~Honorable Mentions • next in list
A contest entry
- MAKE IT COUNT (options for everyone) by loversenvy.
390 points, ended December 17, 2006, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Who's Missing This Christmas? by Seeking Peace.
450 points, ended December 26, 2006, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #4 Losing a loved one. by xox-lankan-xox.
500 points, ended March 13, 131 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Things we wanted to say. by Random Thoughts.
450 points, ended February 21, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Memories ( a contest ) by ramblin.
700 points, ended April 4, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - EMOTIONS - hit me with your best shot! by Heavens Child.
510 points, ended April 21, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your personal poems (or damn well written): Christmas. by Speaking in Tongues.
450 points, ended June 21, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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Losing a loved one is tradgic but when it is by their own hand it seems so much more painful.... my 27 year old cousin just passed away from what they thought was an intentional drug overdose, but recently we learned he was actually murdered. The funeral was so painful for his family. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you and your family find peace. Thank you for the entry in my contest.
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This so sad, I'm sorry you lost someone so special to you and your family. but carry on, it gets better with time, it really does.
Thank you for entering this heartfelt poem and good luck in the contest
ramblin -
Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest and the best of luck to you.
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just devestating, exactly what oi wanted, you are a serious contender my dear poet,
Brenden
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Wow, I'm so sorry
Wow, this poem brought tears to my eyes I'm so sorry for your loss. I'd be so confused I were in your position and lost, your a strong person and your daughter too. This is a beautiful poem and I like the way you've written it, I shall remember this poem as I read the others. Thank you so very much for entering this poem into my contest your an amazing poet. I shall be around to read and comment more on your poems so until then take care ok? Bye!
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Thanks so much for your lovely comment on this sad piece! It is greatly appreciated! You are very kind.
~Lori
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I'm sorry to hear of your loss. You did a fantastic job on this piece. You can feel the emotions throughout and the form is wonderfully done. Great flow. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!
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Amunet Wolfbane, thanks so much for your lovely comment on this piece! It is deeply appreciated. Happy New Year!
~Lori
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Congratulations on this wonderful worthy winner of the Gold award. It is no dishonour to finish behind such a poem Well done
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Lori such sadness is reflected in this piece Loss at anytime is hard to deal with.That you wish there was something you could have done or spotted is normal, but there was and is nothing, if someone has made that decision.All you can do is be there for the children.A very moving poem.With deep feelings. I wish you a better New Year
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Legend, thank you so much for your touching words. It means more than you know. The last four months have been devastating. Then all the holidays came upon us. First was Halloween for the kids, no daddy to trick-or-treat with them, then Thanksgiving with an empty chair at the table. Now Christmas, the most difficult yet. But it's over now and we managed through. All that's left is to usher in a New Year missing a part of our family.
Thanks again, my friend, for your kind and thoughtful words. I truly appreciate them.
~Lori
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This is heartbreaking, there is nothing worse, than suicide, the what ifs and if only's. I send all my love to your family this Christmas and hope that the day will be filled with some joy, where possible
I thank you for entering this contest and I wish you all the very best
Karen -
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Thank you so much, Poetic Whisperer, for your lovely comment on this sad piece. It is most appreciated. Christmas is now over, and indeed it was the saddest one ever. Somehow though, to see the smiles still appear on my granddaughter's faces when we lit our candle for their daddy and when they opened their gifts on Christmas morning, made the day bearable. Thanks again for your touching words. They truly mean alot to me.
~Lori
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This is so very sad!!! I am so sorry for your loss! This is a beautifully penned piece. Graet rhyme and flow... I wish you and your family all the best! Best wishes in the contest!
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This is a lovely poem and tribute to your son-in-law, and wonderful that you are talking about him and makin a new tradition to remember and honor him at Christmas time.
It is early yet, but try to realize that no one else is to blame or should take responsibility for his actions, let go of the guilt of thinking you should have/could have done something to stop him. It has been 10 months now since my husband's brother committed suicide and it's a long healing process. I had to go through the realization and forgiveness and letting go of any responsibility, thinking I should have done something. I hope that you are able to come to this point eventually and heal.
May you and your family find much comfort in each other during this time.
Much love,
Kimberly G.
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Thanks so much Kimberly. Your touching words mean alot to me. It's such an incredibly hard transition through the grief. All my best to you and your family this holiday season
~Lori -
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this poem is so sad.Thanks for entering my contest.
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Thanks Lisa!
~Lori
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WOw...this gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. How sad...but it was beautifully written. Wow...I can't really say much else about it...it left me speechless...
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Thanks so much Lady Falon! Your kind words are very appreciated!
~Lori
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oh dear
I sobbed when I read this poem, such raw emotion, I can't imagine what you must be going through, I am so sorry, but as we all know, experiences liek thsi amke us a stronger person and writer. excellent excellent write. My favorite by far!. good luck in my contest and thanks for entering.
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Thank you, eyesofenvy, for your touching comment. It is greatly appreciated. As you can imagine, the holidays will be hard this year as my son-in-law's suicide is still so fresh in our minds. Yet, we must carry on for the sake of our granddaughters. Thanks again for your kind words.
~Lori
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emotional and heartfelt~
Even tho I have just read two of your poems I had tears well up in my eye's as I read this one...Made me think of my mom..she passed away in Feb of 2004 and the past 2 yrs at holidays has been really painful for me...and I know yours must be as well...
Bless you and your family's heart....tho he may be gone his memories will be in your heart,mind and soul forever....
I will definitely say a prayer for you and his wife and children...
My heartfelt sympathy and condolences...tho they are late in comming.....
He will indeed be the flame that is burning on the candle that night......
A sad but beautiful heartfelt tribute....
Best of luck in the contest....
Hugs
Susan~~~
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Susan, thank you so much for your touching words. They are truly appreciated in this sad time. The pain of losing my son-in-law is still so fresh and the approaching holiday is yet another time of grief for my family. We are slow to start the healing process but it will happen eventually. Thanks again!
Happy Holidays to you!
~Lori
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Lori, what a sad write. Christmas is one of those times when you really reflect back and remember those who are gone or missing in your lives. You have written beautifully how he loved and shared the holidays together. A candle is a wonderful tribute to him so everyone can remember him. It is so hard for little ones to understand the complexities of life. Give them hugs and love and be there for them in those trying times. Good luck in the contest.
Love you lil sis, your big brother,
Charley
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Thanks so much big bro for the touching words on this sad Christmas piece. It will be a diffcult time this year, our first without our son-in-law. The girls are doing as well as can be expected. I truly appreciate your care and support! Take care Charley! Love ya!
~Lori
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So Sad
Missy, wish I had both hands to type more...
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Thanks Tia! Why don't you have both hands?? Did something happen? Hope you are well, my friend! Thanks for reading this sad Christmas piece!
~Lori
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Oh Lori I am so sorry. This will surely be such a painful time for you all.Your poem is full of sadness, especially as the little ones won't have their Daddy for the first Christmas. We do often wonder if there were signs we should have seen, but sadly that's never the case in such circumstances. I love the idea of the candle each Christmas Eve. What a perpetual and beautiful tribute
Gaylene
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Gaylene, thanks so much for the touching comment on this piece! It means alot! It will be a hard holiday this year.
~Lori
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Oh Dear Lori, I wish I could change things for you, just to stop the heartache you feel, you are correct to say to the girls that Daddy will be there on Christmas Morning, just like he will always be with them for the rest of their lives.
This is so sad but also so beautiful, I will join with you my friend and light a candle this christmas eve in memory of our lost loved ones, it is a beautiful way to remember them and I hope you will feel Dwaine especially with you over the holidays and the new year.
Well written and I wish you lots of love over the holidays, thankyou for entering xxx -
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Thanks so much, Julie, for your heartfelt comment. It really means alot to me. This was a hard piece to write. Just now, as I re-read it to check for typo's I need to correct, I'm all teary again. It's been a struggle though it's getting easier, but Christmas will be just like Thanksgiving was, sad and lonely and not the same at all. Thanks again for hosting this contest. It is therapeutic to write out these feelings, something I haven't done much of yet. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas, my friend! Take care
~Lori
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