Life is like an eye chart,
and you know you're getting older when;
1. You were hoping for a multiple choice test
2. You accuse the Dept. of Motor Vehicles
of using a smaller font every four years
3. You think it's a trick question when asked to read the
next line, because you didn't know there was a next one
4. You are amazed that by covering one eye you can see better
5. You think rattling off the first line
is so great until you spell out EYE CHART
6. You wonder why they don't change the test from year to year
then realize you're proof it wouldn't matter anyway
7. You blame the lighting not your dollar store glasses
and the smaller the letters start to look,
you swear they must be airbrushed
8. You'd rather not read it and wait for the movie
9. You ask the doctor for an open book test until you realize
that is why you are here in the first place, you can't read
10. You're not afraid they will take away your license one bit
you're more afraid to admit that it's your picture on it
11. You see 20/20... the Television show and had to put on your glasses
to see if it was Barbara Walters or Mel Gibson
How do you spell Relief from all of the above? - B I F O C A L S
be kind!! just in a joking mood!
Author notes
*"To be a poet is a condition, not a profession."
A contest entry
- LAUGHTER IS BEST by Asylaarix.
500 points, ended December 14, 2006, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SUPER FUNNY POEMS by Travis7.
350 points, ended June 28, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Feeling Depressed- Cheer Me Up by psychiatrists dream.
500 points, ended December 12, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - make me smile by james119.
525 points, ended February 16, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #47 Something to laugh about by daviscth.
475 points, ended February 27, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - # 136 Allpoetry contest by Winklings Group: Comedy! by Lyndon.
3500 points, ended November 2, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Okay, Thirty Friends to Help Me Celebrate My Seniority by Theasp.
900 points, ended February 23, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
-
Fantastic list of rabid road riders guide for older drivers.It reminds me of my last test. Looking into the eye test machine,I read numbers where letters were. The cop asked me after that discussed to move over one machine. I did. It was numbers but I guessed at letters. He told me he shouldn't allow me a passing score. But said it was noted for my next test to require a doctors note. I had early cateracts,had my lenses remove and surgically implanted inneroccular lenses implanted. But they are both for distance. I can see road signs a good 5 minutes before anyone. But if the back of that semi jumps up in front of me-well so long!
-
This would be even funnier in a poetic format but thanks for the laugh hon
-
Thank you for your entry...
Please do not respond in any way to this message until the judging is complete. Thank you.
Are you sure you didn't 'lift' this from one of those joke emails that do the rounds...?
It seems awfully familiar! Anyway, we're not vying for sheep stations here, so I won't dwell on the subject! 
If you DID make these up, they are very inventive.
This is how you scored:
Laugh-o-meter: 7.5/10
Spelling/grammar: 6/10 Punctuation is a bit spotty.
Flow: 5/10 (Not exactly a poem!)
Rhyme (if applicable): N/A Free verse structure: 5/10
Total score: 23.5/40
Many thanks for taking the time to enter this contest, and best of luck!
-
Thanks so much for posting in my contest.
Cathy
-
LOL. I feel this way every year when I get new glasses. Thanks for letting me see that we can laught about our little problems.
-
aah the joys of aging
thanks for entering
Cheers, James -
Lol, an original idea. You sure have thought about eye charts a lot ^^
Nice work,
Eph -
lolol very funny, it made me giggle,thanks for entering and good luck..
-
haha i can identify with this as i have worn glasses most of my life so have read many an eye chart lol
-
this poem is really funny
i loved it
it made me laugh really hard
your an awesome poet
thanks a lot for entering into my contest
GOOD LUCK -
That was very funny. I was laughing out loud, something I don't do much at my computer.
-
sadley enuff this is so true! lol ... this was a good one ... you really made a good point in this one ... i laughed my ass off for a good 5 minutes str8 lol ... nice babe ... very nice lol ... good luck in the contest
Sparkeh -
hilarious
fantastic piece of penmanship my friend. you have got a great sense of humour, to allow us to 'see' your work and not be 'blinded' by words that can sometimes be 'visible' but not understood. Thank you for making me laugh.
-
LMAO
As a licensed optician I fully endorse this poem. And I laughed pretty hard as well. I do have to bust your chops on the spelling of bifocals as well. But of course I do
thanks for sharing this good job.
-
Nicely done!!
Very inventive and intelligent!! -
that's funny!
-
Good poem...the only problem I see is the spelling of Bifocals...which is a really easy mistake to make. But It made me laugh...which is good because that's what I needed. All in all you really did a great job.
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
