Ivory Linen
Ebony comes to life on ivory linen,
as perpetual thoughts flow through us
from eternal streams of obscure visions,
of past and present,
forming an ever lasting tapestry of meaning.
Grey people living in the shadows of black and white.
Visionaries~
heavy laden with so many good intentions upon our backs.
Lavished in a well of wealth in words,
struggling with deep sensations,
that engulf and overflow from existence,
thus we relish in spilled ink,
of ebony on ivory linen.
Author notes
The Best of AP
~Bronze~ Forever Ryan' contest
~bronze~, ~Silver~
In a list
A contest entry
- Three Years at AllPoetry by Sharcu.
600 points, ended September 26, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
AODP
wow...this is quite the amazing write
im so glad i clicked this one to read for the contest.
but anyways, keep writting, andgood luck
Stephanie ♥
-
510 applauds?
Wow! What are you doing? 
You rock!
Very extensive choice of words... flowed nicely onto my computer screen and off my tounge as I read it aloud. This is going to be very difficult to judge. Thanks for taking the time to enter
--Tim
-
-
LOL...I have no idea how that one became so popular, but it did and I am grateful to all that made it happen...
Best to you in judging!
mystic
-
-
Reminds me of the song ebony and ivory by paul mcartney.
-
I love the picture that you paint here, life written onto woven into a linen (as I understand it)
Thank you for entering the contest. -
i liked it to a point.. let me put it to you this way, if it was any longer i think i wouldve gotten too confused. i liked where you went with this, i understood it for the most part, but sometimes simplicity goes a long way.. now dont get me wrong, this poem got me thinking of different words and new ideas to write down, but at the same time it makes me afraid to go for that big of a leap. thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
-
its good
It is a really good and creative poem. i really enjoyed reading it. the language used is somewhat complex, though that is a good thing and adds a lot to this poem.
good luck in the contest,
keep writing,
holly x -
I think you put a lot of thought into this piece,
why, your first line alone was pretty powerful, or
should I say a bit deep.
Nevertheless this is some very good writing.
" Grey people living in the shadows of black and white ". I love that line.
Great job...
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
good luck in my contest.
-
This is so amazing, the way you wrote this poem. The visuals are so metaphorical and capturing. I am hooked from the very beginning.
Thanks for entering your write in A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!
M a r l u x i a
-
left wanting
I read all the comments on your poem because I thought this might help me relate to it. Elevenshadow's thoughts seem positively nurturing but as much as I seek out the heart of your work here, I am left wanting. Perhaps that's the meaning of your poem? -
I love how you repeated ivory linen. This a very dep thought. Ivory linen though i try to understand yor message and to me its quite unclear can you xpress more perhaps in your author's note or to me... thakns
-
i like the choice of words in this. i like the word perpetual too.
-
Excellent Write~
-
Beautiful imagery and raw emotion.
You got the oppositional forces of artistry and the suffering for it perfected in your own experiences so well it hit me deeply. Thank you for your effort and win. This write will enchant me today and later for sure.
-
Oh Wow. I loved this.
I really liked this line 'Grey people living in the shadows of black and white.' Wonderful job! -
the first stanza sets up some great images, however i feel some revision could help work out some of the wrinkles in it. the way you've worded each line seems to set up quite a formulated rhythm: i've noticed that you used an adjective in front of just about every noun. and although this does paint the picture well, perhaps you could try experimenting with different ways to bring the images across to the reader, if you get what i mean. using some strong verbs in these lines might help to break things up well.
"Grey people living in the shadows of black and white" - to me, this line is quite cliched. perhaps something different would give a similar image, only in a stronger, fresher manner.
"so many good intentions upon our backs" - this line is great. it shows a strong image, in a new way. i like how you've taken something abstract and given in a heavy metaphor; it's something most people would relate to well. using the word 'our' draws the reader in and gives a nice personal touch, too.
"a well of wealth of words" - marvelous use of alliteration, although i feel there's an ill rhythm set up by using the word 'of' to break up the line twice. perhaps you could try rewording it, so 'of' is only used once here.
the last stanza is overall very well penned. your piece ends on a high point, with many great images painted with verbs, adjectives and nouns alike.
thank you for entering this poem.
xx
-
Well spoken. I see why this poem has had so many positive comments! It is immensely well written with amazing diction and imagery. I agree with medicalpoet, you should have gotten better than bronze.
Thank you for entering and all the best in the contest!
Merry Christmas!
~katiebird -
Nicely done!
nicely siad. i can see why this has so many good reviews! this is a great poem and every one is right the pic does go perfectly with the poem! i think you should have got better than bronze. -
beauty is as beauty does
this was out standing
the flow was perfect and your pic was great
-
Such beauty in the imagery of this write!
The flow is perfect, a true masterpiece.
Congrats on the bronze although I think the gold must have been out of this world to have beaten this.
Truly beautiful write!
-
thoughts flow within that essence of time
where memories find that rage whispered in in crements... yet syllables show a joy.
You have me smiling with this!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
-
Awesome
This poem was really well written, and it worked really well for the picture. Nice idea
Keeep writing
-
Beautiful imagery here. Congrats on the bronze.
Thanks for your comment.
All the best
Pozo
-
this is worthy of pure gold! I felt I read true poetry when I finished this one. You have an amazing mind and imagination. I love the way you described what the picture was about...perfection at its best!!! Ink on Ivory Linen ...
GBY
SilverButterfly -
i think you are really talanted you should check mine out x keep writng well done on the award n all u deserve it x x x
-
wow, this poem is so amazing, i'm stuned, you're such a deep and true writter, this poem is filled with beautiful flowing imigry, a terrific write!!
-
Hmmmm
I'm not really sure what to write for this poem...
It was excellently written, great vocabulary, a very complex piece... But I'm not really sure if I like it that much, I think it may have been too complex for me, sometimes I find that simpler poems are better, that's my opinion anyway, I just like simple poems...
Thanks for entering this greatly written piece into my contest and good luck =) -
The discription is beautiful, the flow is magnificent. This is a wonderful work of art
-
Oh my goodness, this is fantastic!!!! So passion filled!!!! So expressive of feelings!!!! So well worded!! The words flow so beautifully!!!!! You deserved to win!!!!! I loved this piece!!!!
-
I thought i commented on this yesterday but I was mistaken. I just wanted to say that I think this is very well written. I love the visual descriptions
-
A good poem that you have written here.
-
Very nicely penned... on ivory linen... do one about the computer screen will you? no just kidding... gosh, everything these days seems so unromantic... lol... which is why the world still needs visionaries to string out such meanings from existence!
-
"Ebony comes to life on ivory linen" what a perfect way to set up your poem. I thought this was fantastic, it flowed smooth as silk. Great job!
-
Fabulous imagery placed in the mind's eye from this read, adorable penning; smooth and silkylol
-
Timeless beauty dances
within your ink...
this will ALWAYS be one of my favorite poems ever written.
You amaze me with your talent...but more so with your heart!
Love, Sis
xoxo -
beautiful! i love the image of ink staining into and seeping throug the purest whit linen. thank you soo much. good luck in the contest.
-
great piece filled with good metaphors, I love the first stanza and the end lines are fantastic-well done.
-
this was gracious. thank
-
Liked this one and can see why someone would want to say it was their own. This teen from deviantArt really cleaned up on poets of this site - wonder if any of the poems she posted there were her own at all? She has been removed from that site, but who is to say she will not go elsewhere with our poems? Congrats on the HM.
-
I really like this -- it seems to show how poets make meaning of the chaos that surrounds them, and how they translate it into their own feelings and words. It's a very interesting poem!
-
very well written
your word selection and flow are masterfully used to create this poems beautifully expressed poemand displays the talent of your writing ability which I find wonderfully mood elevating, good write
thank you for sharing
best regards
dave
-
very impressive write. There is not a single bit I do not like about this poem, it is well worded... I would even say very carefully worded. The metaphors are not lost to obscure meaning and yet they are not created of long strings of fancy words. Great write!
s and best wishes ~Genie~
-
its so thought provoking, i really liked it, how come u didnt get the golden trophy, they're fool. lol
Grey people living in the shadows of black and white.
Visionaries~
heavy laden with so many good intentions upon our backs.
so damn true.
gr8 peice by you. il be readin and commenting more.
peace.
-
Ahmazing
Beautiful poem... the words flowed together perfectly... The words were well chosen to portray thought and feeling in such a short piece... My favorite lines:
thus we relish in spilled ink,
of ebony on ivory linen.
LOVE IT -
I'm not really sure what you wanted to point out in this poem. I enjoyed reading it. I found it almost sad though. I do like that you used grammar properly. Props on that. I do love the line "forming an ever lasting tapestry of meaning." I mean that was a totally cool line. Your title works well into your poem. Good job. I hope to be reading more of your works.
-
Congratulations on earning a bronze for this magnificent piece, my sweetheart. Very well and truly earned.
Love,
Mouser -
Whoa. All I can say is beautiful words you have skillfully written. Teriffic job here. Thanks for entering Prewrites. Best wishes.
~Ryan~ -
love it!
what a great way to show how the mind of writer works...."Visionaries~
heavy laden with so many good intentions upon our backs." this was my favorite line until I read the last stanza and then that whole thing became my favorite...so glad I came across this
take care
Michelle Fey
-
Amazing!
Amazing imagery in this piece. I love the opening line, "ebony comes to life on ivory linen" brilliant. I love how you used colour throughout the entire piece. Very well done. Thank you for your entry in my contest. -
What fabulous imagery. And your page is so beautiful. Thanks for discovering me, so that I may discover you.
-
"Ebony comes to life on ivory linen," how poignant is that! Writing has given me a new lease on life, actually saved it, your poem expresses perfecrtly how I feel every time I "relish in spilled ink."
-
Really quite a unique poem, the thoughts and ways you have expressed them. Brings to mind Ebony and Ivory in that first line. Liked the way you have brought poetry to the forefront here.
-
Bravo!
I like this one very much my friend. A poem about spilling our thoughts on the pages of our poetry. It really works for anyone that writes. Bloggers, newspaper editorialists, chat room frustrated cybersexers, terrorists, politicians, CEOs, etc...anyone that writes for a purpose. Great write. ~Peace~Gar -
Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest. Best of luck to you
-
thank you for the entry. I really like the image of ebony writing on white linen. You have so many comments, I guess I need say no more.
-
I love your the strong imagery you create and your beautiful use of vocabulary, your consistency with color as a metaphor throughout the entire poem, and especially the reference to the beginning of the poem in the last line.
This shows a wonderfully insightful look at human life and emotions in such a resplendent way. Fantastic job, and thanks for entering my contest. -
aww
autie this is awesome!!!
i can clearly imagen this whole thing playing out.
perfectly done.
sorry i haven't been around to check your work lately (just recovered from my very first writers block)
-
~very well-written~
"Ebony comes to life on ivory linen,
as perpetual thoughts flow through us
from eternal streams of obscure visions,
of past and present,
forming an ever lasting tapestry of meaning."
That tapestry of meaning is filled to the brim with stories I'm sure of it.
I found your name on my AP mom's profile; FaeryPixieFey
and I decided to read you...I know if she liked your work then I probably should too. And I do. This is a really neat poem and i do love how it's written. Im adding you to my favorites list and hope you do the same.
Thank you for being there for my mom.
truly,
ImmortalBeauty
-
Excellent Imagery
ummmm...I like the imagery I get from this one. The way you have the poem structured and your word chice create a nice tone to the piece and the emotional aspects are not overwelming. A direct look at a particular facet of life. Well Done. ~Peace~Gar
-
A very visual work that seems to jump from the screen. your choice of words are perfect and compliment the rest of the poem very well. the free style form of this poem flows very well and gives the feeling of lucidity. it's a great poem. thank you for the entry.
-
strangely
colorful in this stark contrasting piece of elegantly woven art. Well written in a simple flowing style that contributes to its beauty. -
What a great vocabulary you have used in penning this piece! Simple and easy to understand while conveying complexity at the same time! Indeed we relish in spilled ink! Nicely done! Best wishes in the contest!
Frogz~ -
this was a lovely piece! beautiful written and so simply put more than what it conveys.
i loved your middle stanza!
great job on this Mystic,
xoxo
♥
-
strongly written and I have to say fabulously worded...thank you I very much enjoyed this read
-
I like this poem. It creates some very good images, one of my favorites was "an ever lasting tapestry of meaning".
-
this is breath taking. It reminds me a song I would hear Ray LaMontage singing or even Athele. This is soo sooo amazing. I saw something while reading this. amazing
kelly lin
-
I loved the grey people stanza, very interesting way to look at it, and I can say that I totally understand. I liked this poem, and you did well with the imagery. Thank you very much for entering my contest.
-
Great . .Though a little heavy . .
There is so much comment here that I can only repeat what has gone before . . .
Well done -
Albert.
-
Excellent piece
Wow this I must say is a strong piece... I especially love the line "Lavished in a well of wealth of words," It flowed so well and it made the last stanza so strong. Beautiful write!!!!
-
VERY BACHISH.
-
This is very well written, and perfectly describes such a small moment in time.
Thankyou for entering into the contest, this is well written and nearly precisely what I was looking for. -
Promise...sing
From ink to inklings visions flow
to stitch life's tapestry and sow
seeds which obscurity reject
as search for light owes slight respect
to monochrome which seldom show
more than man thinks he needs to know
or throw as viewpoint to reject
the inklings others' inks project
-
assigned number
youre 2
keep up with your number -
Beautiful
Wow. I really like this. It flows really well. The picture you paint is really peaceful.
~Becca -
Great
Beautiful write great wording great flow easy to read and it says so much with few words, this is the kind of poem that I really like, Thanks Chris -
Mystic, this is absolutely beautiful and, well, somewhat philosophical. The ebony spilled ink on ivory linen took my breath away. Thanks for sharing you. Have A merry Christmas, sis.
-
Wow mom!
Hey mom! This is another gr8 write from you and all I can say is WWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! -
This is a really great poem. You have a rally really really unigue writing style and a way with words. You should try songwriting. I think youd do a terrific job at it!!!!!!!!!!!!! You rockk!
-
Positively beautiful... I love the descriptive way you talk about writing. Beautiful phrases, including the title itself... Very romantic. I enjoyed this a great deal.
-
I really enjoy this write! As easy as it may be to pick out black and white as use for comparisons, you have done an excellent job of taking a trite comparison and making it strong and powerful. Thank you s
Adding your comment:
