Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Just a Hint of Colour

 

I whisper love into your ear

While you soundly sleep

 

It secretly flourishes within me

Like a myriad of colours swirling in my aura

Brilliant with energy

Emanating from the midst of my being

 

I yearn to dye your essence

With my crimson emotions

But I am too timid

Your soul will be hue resistant

 

So I just whisper love into your ear

While you soundly sleep

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

This is my first attempt at "playing" with font/colour and with my new gold member options, lol. Is " love " in red a bit too much?

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • macandrew
    December 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Never give up trying. No one, nothing is hue resistant forever.

    Well written.
    john


  • pattyann4500
    December 6, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    No, the red "love" is not too much. I believe you did just the right amount of color. More could possibly be too much, and less would not have done justice to your theme. Very nicely done.

    This is lovely. I read the poem three times, because it is just so wonderful. I sometimes whisper into my husband's ear when he is asleep. Sometimes his voice will come back with an "I love you, too," but he doesn't awaken. I always smile.

    In the second stanza, fourth line, did you mean "mists" or "midst?" Just wondering.

    A very lovely piece! Thank you so much for entering, and I wish you luck in the contest. Patricia


    • Delphinidae
      December 6, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the wonderful comment, and for spotting my typo! I did mean "midst". Opps. It's always great to have a second (or third) set of eyes read through one's poetry. I am happy you enjoyed my piece, and thank you for hosting this contest.

      Christine