On a walk,
Long and intricate,
Tiresome and painful
Can’t stop, can’t rest
Can’t fight, can’t protest
…
I feel so left alone,
Dejected…
Lonely…
Lost…
Forlorn…
Just so ALONE.
…
Like a loser,
I glance around.
Everybody wants to win,
Everybody wants to live,
Everybody…everybody.
…
On a walk,
Full of struggles,
Packed with treachery
Full of iniquity
And lively misery
…
I feel so weak,
Cursed…
Feeble…
Flimsy…
Fragile …
Just so WEAK
…
Like a whiner
I glance around.
Everybody wants to win,
And everybody wants to live,
Everybody…everybody.
…
Taking another agonizing breath,
Looking around at “everybody”
I look “down” to myself,
As my feats scream at me
Echoing in my head forever,
Nurturing the melancholy, they make me believe
that
“I am such a nobody”.
…
…
…
Everybody wants to live
And everybody wants to win…
Everybody…everybody!!
And I am such a nobody.
Nobody!!
- Vichitra Joshi (J.Vic)
Author notes
I guess everyone have some “dark” secrets hidden within the four chambers of heart, or atleast I have few…
They hurt, really they do…they are so ugly that I feel very negligible when I try to fight my way through them. They are dreadful, horrid, they eat me inside.
Not that I can’t live with them anymore, but it just gets difficult with time, sometimes, for I, at times, feel guilty, as if a criminal, for not being able to share myself completely with my Godly gifted friends.
It’s so devastating that at some instants I pity myself. I am literally unable to talk about those “dark” facts; I would prefer to burn them with my body when I die. May be that’s just because I am afraid of the reaction, outcome and ultimately, the conclusion.
I just wanted my readers to know what the poem is about, that is why I wrote above explanation. I am not looking for any consolation, help or assist. No worries. 
I repeat, DO NOT WORRY, concentrate only on the poem when commenting 
.
I think now you must have understood the poem well enough. But still, if you face any problems, KICK me 
!
Take cares and have a nice time
MISS ME
- Vic
In a list
A contest entry
- Pain by weirdsis amz.
450 points, ended January 8, 2007, 46 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 61 of 61
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You have real talent
CHEER UP !
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Hello Vic, long time no chat
I relate to this poem at the moment, it speaks volumes of how have been feeling the last few months.
I like the way you write, you have always known that, but I think this is a piece everyone will be able to relate to.
Take Care my dear friend, I miss our chats, the way you always made me smile.
sending big cyber hugs to you and hoping you are well xxxx
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Well Vic ...
this poem was written some time ago; yet: it stays universal in its outcry. You covered emotional pain, remorse, with honesty and introspective boldness. A man knowing his fallacies and facing the challenges to grow by the experience. Well done.
You are missed here on Allpoetry, do you know? Drop a few lines now and then, will you?
Love
Myra
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I know about deeply imbedded secrets. And as one reader commented before me... some secrets are meant to be hidden and some are meant to be revealed.
My secret has raised its ugly head many times and I'm sorry it happened. I do however, feel that I've made amends with my higher being but it's still my secret and I expect it will remain so. After more than 60 years, it would serve no purpose to become known now.
Your secrets are your own and I think you are the only one to have to live with them, for good or not. Your poems reflects your regrets and unless you see fit to do otherwise, let them rest and go on from here, your identity intact
A deep and meaningful poem Congratulations on the Silver trophy
Dee
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Vic,
I like how you describe how we do look "down" at ourselves in these moments, so true, even though the feelings are natural.
Take care my friend, hope the clouds of the pain lift soon for you my bouncy buddy.
s
-Tiger -
heartfelt
This is a lovely and heartfelt poem.
Some secrets are meant to be kept hidden and some are meant to be revealed. It's up to you to do with your secrets as you want, just don't let them eat you up inside.
xx elle xx
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Gosh Vic, everyone has dark secrets that they cannot talk about to anyone. I know I have so I lock them inside me as deep as I can and learn to live with them. Life has to go on and we can't undo what has already happened. Yesterday has gone,tomorrow is our future, so we live for today. I hope you are Ok now. I haven't been on for a long while, have been busy with studies.
Joanna.
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very well penned....all of us have some thoughts or may b secrets dug deep within us ...and it is really very difficult for any1 to shoot it out or rather confess....nice write I appreciate this write ......
and mus say nice name 'Vichitra' jus like your write .....typical but extraordinary !!!! would love to read more of your work ... -
Everyone has their moments and times in space that they think negative about themselves, me....you...Feel like nothing is right,being your own worst critic as you are in this poem right now...Everyone struggles with dark hidden secrets, everyone has them but not everyone can or is brave enough to share them with the world..or accept them...Still it is necessary to...cos no one is perfect...but also no one is a nobody...Everyone has got that "special and unique" something...you just need to be willing to look for, find it...As for those dark hidden secrets....if someone truly values you, love you...they will accept them no matter what...cos they're part of you...as they're part of me...You are not a "nobody" Vic...you are a truly special somebody..but also somebody who's still got to learn a few things about himself,friendship and life....but then again even at 40 so do I...
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It's a really good poem Vic - I'm happy to know you're still alive
Well, it left me with a lot of thoughts - among a craving for a walk, actually.
Thank you for sharing
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wow Vic...this is an amazing and truly deep poem. Hats off to you. I know exactly what you mean. I feel this everyday. Keep up the awesome writing.
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very interesting vic, glad you explained what this was about XD. and your right everybody has secrets, dark secrets hidden within. great write.
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Great work!!
Your honesty is painfully beautiful. I have got to respect a person that is brave enough to come out and say how they truly feel sometimes. You did a great job but I assure you, you are a somebody and a very special one at that. Keep up the great work. Muchas lurve, Dani/ Jani 
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hey vichi.....ur poem is awesome dude...i dont know i found it deeply related with me too...
u gave words to feelings even i feel sometimes..infact many times..
thanks mate.. for sharin this piece..
parth..
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Hi, found this to be very clear and communicative.. an apt portrayal of your state of mind at that moment and about the situation.. Nice work
We all go thru something like this.. just in different ways.. but a strong feeling I got or a thought that came up reading this- Perhaps this isnt the competition or field the inner person wants to be a part of anyway.. and people around are just people at the end of the day.. people can attempt to understand -they can fail/ succeed at different levels.. but our inner core always knows.
If I would have written a piece centering a similar feeling, then in my life, the anger and guilt would have been towards my ownself for not listening to me clearly (in my personal case, not yours) I hope my rambling doesnt bore you ..
Keep writing.. n thank you for offering a peek at a shade of your world..
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Totally adored this piece, u intrigue me even more now...Neha Anand(orkut)
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vic, hunny, that was beautiful, I forgot how wonderful your writing is and when I read this one I felt as if I was with you during the pain and it scared me. It's nice to be back in contact with you. I truly care so please don't forget that
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this is a beautiful poem..you are a great poet and pleas keep writing.
Al -
oh my gosh.
omg. that poem is mind blowing.
its so awesome!!!!
i honestly dont think i have read a better poem than that in a while.
bravo`!!!!
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tears fall within the silence... and those that cry for help sometimes fall behind the cracks... what is sad that those of us that are friends take for granted...
you my friend.
you've always listened when i was down.
and I'm sorry i wasn't there in your time of need.
but I'm there for you at anytime
Bill
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Perfect as always
heeeyyyyyy So long time didn`t visit u , sorry my dear friend.
U`re right - everybody have some days when it feels like u`re nobody in several moment , but pls don`t get so deep in it !!!
smile :}
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soo damn good
heyyyyyy!!!
awesome write!!
keep it up!
xoxox
sol -
Good!
Oh,why so much pessimism? Life has many surprises to offer,try to look at the glass and say,it is half-full! Not half-empty! My friend,a proper mix of pathos and happiness brings vibrancy to life! Remember that! -
Deep, Dark and Powerful!!!!!!!!
Vic, I am so sorry that I missed this my dear sweet friend. It has been some time and I will wish a belated Happy New Year to you. Now for this poem, I am floored by the excellence that came from your pen. Your knowledge and wisdom are as bountiful as the handsome young man whose face I see changing all the time. Sending you lots of special dark chocos along with my zzz and 
es This was filled with so much emotion and I know we all have that dark side. Don't ever doubt yourself though, you are a gift that was given to this earth and you light up the life of all you come in contact with. Your lady Joyce has missed you and I hope you are doing well. I'm always thinking of you. Keep writing sweetie. Love you my friend, Joyce
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Hey Vic..
Yaar This particular write is a masterpiece man..
m keepin a copy as well.. hehe
Don worry I wont sell it even though its worth a million!
Hats off once again man..
inspired so much I m .. m thinkin of postin another one from myself soon.. -
oh wow. this is brilliant vic! ur so talented! wow.
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Haunting
This is a tortured soul crying out in pain. Your descriptive powers are quite good. I like the repitition, it adds an emphasis that might otherwise go unnoticed. Very deep and powerful emotions at play here ~ pain is pain whether physical or mental ~ it hurts. This seems to be both from a personal perspective and a detached viewer on the outside looking in at others actions. Finely wrought.
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Morbid Indensity
This is kinda dark of you to write such a poem like this, but still, I find it okay.
you deserve the trophy.
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Hello my Chickadee
Hey Vic,
Everyone has a dark side that they can't share with others, I certainly have a few. but you and I are fighters, we rise above it, doncha reckon? it can't keep us down.
Your poem is a corker, really deep buddy, but very well written. I have missed you my little chickadee. and I'm sorry I haven't been by to visit and to wish you a happy new year
Here's a for you from me. 
Love from your pluff pluff spongey doll
-
Good.
Hello, after a long time, I'm back. I am happy to still see you writing poetry. Overall, I do not have any problems with your work. I think it is quite good. Of course, I have also seen other people comment and they thought it quite good, too.
At first, line 2 struck me as though intricate was not quite the right word for a walk, but then looking back at the dictionary definition, it fits quite well.
Enjoy your quest as a poet. =]
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Keep in there!!!
This sounds like your've seen one perspctive, (yours,) Now you see the other and see the light!
The low popint was in the middle, which balances out great. in shape and form. Nicely explained and noty as sad as first thought!!! Yeah! I liked it. Titus
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i love this poem so much vic. its amazing.
-
Mirroring nothing....
….but reality!
You look at everybody and find yourself a ‘NOBODY’
I was once under same kinda rumination and realized later that there exists “NOBODY” within “EVERYBODY”
That unrevealed “DARK” side of human kind is considered divine until it is dramatized…. Look back to it, you will realize that you know WHAT is OKAY and WHAT IS NOT in the society and for mankind!
But WHAT and WHAT are made by man, until our darker side hurts not anyone, NOBODY is GOODY DOODY like all…..
Highly introspective and pensive!
Kudos Kiddo!
*hugs and cares*
-Kiddy
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i really lie this. the way you set it out is extraordinary. i like it because gets really fast paced then slows down and then speeds up again.
Keep writing
amz -
heartbreaking
aww i dont want my viccy poo too feel that way! This poem was very good, it was quite insightful and told of such a pain that it broke my heart. I love you vic keep your head up! *isnt used to seeing you any other way than happy and sweet* -
wow
.......i cant think of the word to say, but i like this poem -
wow. I do believe this is my favorite of all your works. The emotion just poors out of it like a heathly stream!! You did well My knight. I hope to read more from you I miss tlking to you hopefully one of these days we will be one the same time
TTYL8R Your Princess,
Nicky
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ok...
you know what vic..?
i believe this is the first time i'm reading your poem... and...
i'm shivering.. i dunno if it's the cold or your poem.. maye it's both.. but it's as if you've just dislocated my heart and numbed me from within...
lol...
maybe i just ignored the fact that you could even harbour such dark thoughts.. you're always so cheerful, and so calm.. but after reading this, it's almost like you're fighting from within to unveil yourself, to remove a huge burden off your head, yet you cant get rid of the other facade you always wear..
but.. perhaps it is with everyone.. i know many will be able to relate to this..
now that i think about it, i remember i might have felt like this when i used to be pessimistic..
anyways...
as for the poem itself... you've expressed well.. the feeling of searching oneself in the dark realms of the mind..
"On a walk,
Full of struggles,
Packed with treachery
Full of iniquity
And lively misery"
life IS like that.. and yes, everybody wants to conquer it.. call it careless herd mentality if you want, lol.. but what everybody needs to know is that first you need to conquer yourself... it'll be much easier to conquer life after that.. feeling like a nobody may display cowardice, but i believe it's just the lack of enough courage.. courage to face oneself. "you can be your best friend or your worst enemy"... remember?
and hey, you can always go by "nobody's perfect"
i trust you can handle yourself.. you may be a nobody to yourself, but you are a special somebody to all of us here.. always remember that!!
loads of love and blesses!!!
-
Anhaa Vic so you posted a new poem atlast,thats great.. weird one..Dark but I liked the form it was written.And your mystery is captivated very well.I know so very well that you can cope up even with the hardest battle in life..yay thats the spirit my friend and not so happy ending comeon you are a somebody.Anyhow the word expressions are penned well.
I love you so much.thanks for sharing some part of your life.
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Gorgeous, dark free verse Vic. When we are the most unacepting of ourselves is when the world seems to be the most vast and unpredictable terrain in the universe. The reality is that what we deal with, it is not ours alone, somewhere, someone has also faced the same... but to be inspired by similarities and forgive yourself enough to shed lonliness... that is the hard part, especially if nobody ever knows.
Excellent write Vic. Everyone has secrets... but not everyone can live with their concience/fear of them.
s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
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hi my dear lil bro
wow...I killed myself tonight to leave for you this comment. See, I you very much.
Yes, you're right. Sometimes life's not the way we like it to be and have to keep some secrets to ourselves. That doesn't sound good, but no way!
Love you
Keep smiling
Shahrzad
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Alright. I will do as you asked and concentrate on the decency of the poem and not the heartbreaking message. It kinda sounds like a song, and I know alot of people could relate to it. It's pretty good, makes the reader feel cut down and frustrated just as you must feel. Thanks for sharing this, best wishes.
Ashley -
Awww
i can relate to this poem in so many ways, i like the dark ora you giving off here
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wow vic i loved it and i can say nothing else it's left me speechless!
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great write..
loved it..
God bless you -
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Thanks for the comment Neha .
- Vic to Neha (IceMaiden)
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Painful but still excellent
Dear Vichitra Joshi (Viccy joon)
Hi. I haven’t seen you around for a while so I thought it mustn’t be bad to find you through your new write. I’m surprised.. not at you.. not at your poem but at myself. I always think you are a happy boy that always smile and have a big hug/heart for his friends but now I found the hidden part of you. It’s a fact that your author note change all I wanted to say at first. You might name my comment a childish consolation but I write you these because you are my friend. To me, you have been everyone from long ago.. not just because you were what I wasn’t. something that I can’t tell and I might bury them with myself like you. I wish I could pen my feeling after reading this or better to say I wish feeling could be penned. Just look around yourself and see beams of kindness surrounding you/your body/your existence.
I would like to thank you because of sharing even those dark parts of you :-)
~Massy~
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Painful but still excellent
Dear Vichitra Joshi (Viccy joon)
Hi. I haven’t seen you around for a while so I thought it mustn’t be bad to find you through your new write. I’m surprised.. not at you.. not at your poem but at myself. I always think you are a happy boy that always smile and have a big hug/heart for his friends but now I found the hidden part of you. It’s a fact that your author note change all I wanted to say at first. You might name my comment a childish consolation but I write you these because you are my friend. To me, you have been everyone from long ago.. not just because you were what I wasn’t. something that I can’t tell and I might bury them with myself like you. I wish I could pen my feeling after reading this or better to say I wish feeling could be penned. Just look around yourself and see beams of kindness surrounding you/your body/your existence.
I would like to thank you because of sharing even those dark parts of you :-)
~Massy~
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So known
Dear vic,
I read this poem a couple of times before moving down towards the author's comments... though they r useful in understanding the poem but the poem says a lot more itself....
This one is so known to me... its touching and thought provoking.. I can relate to it.. infact i guess that every reader can relate to it... coz everyone in this world has a dark side... i do have.. I have things and deeds that i do not want to talk about... things which i hate to discuss... things that make me shiver whenever they come to my mind... and still I'm living with them.. I think each one of us is living a dual life... we are good in front of others... but within ourselves.. there is so much to be unveiled... so much to be shown and spoken about.. there's so much we all hide..
and its not with one or two ppl... its wih everyone..
and i think that its life.... i've started taking it as a norml thing.. doesn't effects me much now... but yeah.. I'm still afraid to let it open to other ppl.. even to myself at times...
your poem beautifully expresses all I have in my heart.. last four lines speak the most of it..
thanks for sharing.. good to read youafter such a long time.. all the best for the contest if its still alive.. []
love
Neha
-
-
Thanks neha . *hugs and kisses*... thanks much for the comment
- Vic to Neha ( Ethical Dilemma )
-
-
If you were a nobody, all those people wouldn't have commented.
You're a somebody. You're EternalPoet, you're Vic.
-
deep
It's most wonderful to see another write from you once again luvluv! And yes everyone wants to succeed and be loved and admired. You are all those things. We often don't see ourselves the way others do. We are our harshest judge! This is a wonderful expression of the hidden darkness lurking inside of ones soul. Thank you for sharing that with all of us!
-
Loved It
First of all, I Love You and miss you very much, I enjoy the repetition, this brings to my mind that humans can be so selfish as to ignore pain and refuse to help just to get ahead, also of ourselved, where we feel so miniscule and worthless to the point of none-existance, it flowed nicely with many onveyed emotions, I enjoyed it very much! Ruthy
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Well written
I guess everyone can relate to your words to a certain extent. Well penned. Your poem also reminds me of "I'm Nobody" by Emily Dickinson, in which she wrote "
I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you-Nobody-too?
Then there's a pair of us!
Dont tell! they'd banish us-you know!
How dreary-to be-Somebody!
How public-like a Frog-
To tell your name-the livelong June
To an admiring Bog!"
Good wishes,
Sau.
-
kool
wow this is really good i like it a lot its been a long time since ive tyalked to ya vic... o well buh bye
princess of death
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Damn!
Viccy I love your poetry. Oh hell I love you we are eternal butterfly, unite!
Your words are gracefully weaved together by your pen's thread. I love this piece. We all have something to hide, but what do we have to show? You have these wonderful words that paint beautiful [and terrifying] images. Good or bad, you can overcome anything =]. If you ever need to talk.... ♥ ~ Kerri [Kerryfly]
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Dear sweet Vic... first I can't help but notice how well your english has become... and wow... your writing has really become awesome!!!
I am sorry for the pain and sadness... but I must say... it birthed a fantastic poem... one I am sure you are proud of!!!
This is an excellent piece Vic!!!!!
~MommaMelissa
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dude this is kick ass man.. i loved it i think one of the best i have ever read from you man amazing work and such powerfull words
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i made acomment but it will not let me applaud without commenting again lol
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College keeps this dumbhead busy too... but I just wanted to post one final poem for this year... I hardly managed to post 7 poems this year...
anyways.. thanks for the comment, I am not depressed or anything... all fine.. and well alive..
*hugs and kisses*.. thanks very much neri...
- Vic to Neri (AlbaSoul)
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Everybody wants to win,
And everybody wants to live,
Everybody…everybody.
i really like that pat... it stands so true. we all try and win in life, try to live... Now the question is HOW. That's where the mistakes are made.
It's great to see you back here writing. i don't write much on here. as you know, college really takes a lot of time. lol
A pleasure to read. i think you did a nice job.
i read the author's comment, and i am not so worried, my vic is smart, i know that
love you Vic!!!!!!
Best wishes,
Ner
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