The pain hits me, Like cat claws scratching down my thigh.
I cannot remember your face and the fear is like a lonely night.
My heart beats to the rhythm of heavy metal, fast and loud!
Can't you see that without you I cannot see, feel or hear?
I dig at my flesh to stop the inner termoil, you would stop me if you were here!
Please, can't you see me begging? Can't you see my knees bleeding from falling?
I need you, I'll take them, I will. Just a pill or a few and sleep!
I can't breath, I can't go on anymore. I just need to die and feel free!
I can't last the night, the emotional pain shrouds me, suffocates me!
I've done it, it's too late, the phone rings, it's you!
But I cannot answer cause I would feel a fool, telling you that I couldn't live without you. I feel stupid, so small, goodbye to you all....
baby..
A contest entry
- Losing her/him by Atrophya.
400 points, ended December 22, 2006, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
good use of visceral imagery...scratches, 'metal noises. I like how you've used poetic devices to display a real-life issue. thanks for the read
-
a very emotional write, just what the contest asked for, very well done
-
wow
i really like this. i loved it for the start to the finish. nice job. -
-
Thankyou for your comment, much appreciated!!
-
-
wonderfully written, scared me anyway..
-
lovely write.ive felt that way but you should always pick up the phone at those times cause it's a sign that you should give life one more shot.try not to give up though its hard.
-
A Very Powerful Write!!!!
This was very heartfelt and a very stark imagery. So sad that sometimes this does happen. Thanks for sharing. Take care, Sandy
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
