I see the salt stained tears on my chest
and I don't know what to say.
It hasn't ended like a storm in a jamjar
round and round and round, I'm bored.
I am stuck here until you see sense
Why?
Why can't you see the truth?
The truth is always the truth
see it or not, it's true.
How can I be counted, if I cannot even stand?
How can you be judgemental on me?
How can you answer me when questions fail your soul?
Many times I have stood waiting, for what I dont know!
Why?
Why wont you listen to me?
It's still being said you know,
just cause you can't hear it.
What can I do now, to convince you to speak?
Your doing as she tells you because You Are Weak!
Make up your own mind and tell me you know,
But your to scared and hurting everyone else as you go!
Stop!
Stay there in your world
I won't be here much longer,
I am fading as are you.....
Goodbye old shadow.. goodbye.
The sun stopped shining through!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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A heartful plea to see the real you and yet so sadly ending in goodbye. Its almost as if it was over before it even started. *sigh* That's what happens all too often when others keep their mind closed far too much for far too long, A sad unfulfilling ending for all. You epressed yourself wonderfully well here.
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Thankyou so much for your comment. Yes its an ongoing thing and I can't seem to be seen for me!! which is sad cause the me that I and everyone knows is actually a pretty dam nice person!! Still, one day maybe.
Thankyou for your comment and time.
Kat xx
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WOW
I love this, its great. to me the storm in a jamjar bit, do you mean like a big deal in a small space and its all closed in?? thats what I felt when read it, before i read the comments. I thinks its great, well done.
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Yes
You summed it up perfectly.. Thankyou, your comment means a lot.
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The beggining is good, but you lose me a bit with
"It hasn't ended like a storm in a jamjar
round and round and round, I'm bored."
I don't really get what you're trying to say, and then 'I'm bored' sounds a bit lame to me, though I think all you really need to do is switch the wording around a little and it would be fine. Maybe something like 'I'm bored with this never ending storm in a jamjar' same thing but easier to see.
"How can I be counted, if I cannot even stand?"
Too true. I know the feeling.
"Goodbye old shadow.. goodbye.
The sun stopped shining through!"
Good strong ending, this really hits home.
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Thankyou
Thankyou for your comment, its much appreciated, I understand what your saying, I just write whats in my head.. and I dont expect others to get it! I think I will leave it as it is, but I really do appreciate what you said.
Thanks again.
Mal x
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