The clouds, thin as gauze, frost the night sky.
Shining bold and bright, the full moon makes
his presence known with a haloed light, dancing
in his own reflection on this owl swept night.
My dreams are brushed by the pinons of flight,
course along the dew strewn fields seeking
their own soaring reach, a wind of time to cruise,
a fountain of water bright and running free
to slake my thirst for a seer’s foresight.
All these mortals who walk in the sunfilled day
avoiding shadows, swirling winds twirling dust,
swear at superstitious fools. These ones who laugh
at Friday the Thirteenth, yet make the sign of the cross,
pet black cats that cross their path, yet toss salt
across their left shoulders. These intellectual fools
who make science a religion have forgotten all the wisdom
their ancestors gleaned from the earth and fire,
what the forerunners learned from arcane arts, the study of
gnostic scripts to be able to forecast wars and pestilence.
I have stood alone on earth’s crumbling edge
listened to the beings tending the riot of the wood,
who breath the silence in sacred glens, who build the energy
that moves the earth, this forces which seeks the lavas' heat. Cast
afloat upon the seas,I survived because of zephry’s grace,
a silkie’s love and beings who dance the waves with dolphin’s faith.
I have become aware of all the inner forces that pave the way
for man’s love to have power and force before the faceless day.
Yet, man forgets what forces guide human growth,
now, he acts the child and thinks his toys will pave his course,
he markets his own demise with his love of mechanical device.
The creatures so clear in the night light, who tie and knot
the paths of life, weave the way, its ups and downs,
the obstructions one must work around. These ancient forces
are now of one accord. Unless man wakes up from his childish schemes,
works to weed and tend the green. Sees he is not the only branch
on creation's tree that can reap the earth, play on her beaches
and harvest her seas. Then, like the horticulturist whose plantings
turn to weeds, the sleeping giants that move the world
shall sweep the surface clean and start their dreams again.
10:00 PM
Decemeber 4th, 2006
Alexandria, VA
A contest entry
- Round Two; Poe(tic) Imagery by SurelyWritten.
475 points, ended December 14, 2006, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Compared to the other entries in the contest, this one stands out with a completely unique theme...
The theme itself is timeless, and yet relevant... I think each line tells its own unique story, and by the end of the poem my thirst for images is fulfilled...
"Then, like the horticulturist whose plantings
turn to weeds"
This is stunning, you have awed me again.
-shirley- -
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What can I say?
Poe with a little Lovecraft thrown in, the feeling that I should write my own thoughts showing the influence of the quote but not try to imitate (this didn't seem the time for compliments), digging deeply into a part of me that I don't visit much, all of these things and something more adding up to creating this poem. If it gave you a large meal and left you satisfied then I have done my job. Love, Tom B. -
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Your poetry becomes more fulfilling by the day... I enjoy almost every line I read...
I was hopping Poe would be a challenge and only few would suceed in matching his greatness... But everyone has entered marvelous entries... Judging this is going to be hard..
Be well,
shirley-- -
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I hope that this continues.
I am really very pleased and touched by the pleasure you share. When I was younger and more morose, I read a lot of Poe stories and poems. I guess it goes with the age.
Love, Tom B.
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Poignantly Raw
Wow! I felt almost as though I could sink my teeth into this piece!
I don't know if that makes any sense to you, but I was immediately drawn in at the first line with the visual of being enshrouded in gauze. There is a sincere depth to the underlying message within these bold lines. Incredible work!
~Lori
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The fish blow bubbles of air
Only in water would we notice. I don't try to be deep for that would be pretentious. I simply try to find a first line that is like a key to opening a door to a vision. Then, I do my best to describe what I see. If I do (succeed), then the words have a vibrancy and aliveness and I set them free. If they are dead on the page, I start over again, because that one either got away or I was lieing to myself and I don't want to share lies with my readers.
Thank you for taking the time to share with me. Be blessed, be joyous and infect others with the magic of your creations. Love, Tom B.
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Very Intense!
Wow, this is really loaded with so many messages. I related mostly with the second stanza. Everywhere I see superstition, it seems to walk hand in hand with fear. I find religion and science both very subjective and inflexible, but that's just me.
I think it's amazing how those few words of Poe have managed to inspire such a deeply intense vision from you.
Very well written Tom.
Best wishes in the contest
Sincerely -Emmjay
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I speak in riddles
I wanted to capture how people hide in superstition and science, religion as well not how they use them to increase their understanding. It is this head in the sand, "but I know I am right. I am special. The rules don't apply to me" that makes the ancient gods angry. True worship, faith denotes a care and appreciation of the gifts of the gods. True understanding of science means valuing the tools of learing and applying them for improvement not aggrandizement of enhanced consumption. At least, not in my book.
Poe's quote took a while to sink in but forced me to tap and inner energy and not often looked at anger.
Thanks for your kind reading and response. Love, Tom B.
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....aaahhhhh!
You spin me with your words, make me smile and reach for the vision. The light and shadows are like lace! Beautiful, Tom!
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Tit for Tat
I was happy and pleased by the way this piece was received. But in the process of its construction, I was happy to receive your instructions. Love only shows up in the sharing and you have shared with me your knowledge and turtorial gifts. Most of all, you have shared with me your heart and I am eternally thankful. Love, Tom B.
Merry Christmas
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Smashing
Introductive, by two narrative stanza, which spoke of introspective out-view, of unspoken sympathy upon a lost wisdom long-lived, and instantly lost.
Then comes the smashing part, the redemption of truth, the last stanza (my favourite), which by might casts the errors of the science-laden labours, and the nature-forsaking faults.
I will not speak of awe and bedazzled notions, I believe I have made my point clear by my comment. (Free verse looks so different every time I read a different piece).
You're beyond words, good luck and be well.
Raven Dark.
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Instructive deconstuctions
Many are the days when searching for where I am so i could see where I going. To be here now is to chose where you will be. Otherwise if you don't watch out the train you are on will take you to the wrong part of town.
Love, Tom B.
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Hi, I liked this a lot, nice to see the moon refered to as male for a change,for the ancient Egyptians it was male and several other ancient religions, I enjoyed this write, all the best,sorry am out of applauses, Di
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contemporary is right. a little too contemperary for my tastes. im old fasion so i like set ryhtms and ryhme schemes and structure, not huge on 'modern' poetry. but the story and the message in this piece was very cool.
Good Write and God Bless
Pastoral Poet
Ben B. -
Dearest Tom,I do not understand the reference "to a silkie's love" and would be grateful for an explanation if you have time as it would complete the understanding of this for me fully,I cannot be disengenous and pretend to understand that which I do not,I would rather be thought a fool for not knowing than remain a fool by not asking!
That the central character sought to be satiated by harmonic means for mankind I understood,agree and applaud.Indeed even the seer is challenged by perception,just as each individual gleans a different perspective from the ink blot tests...
I used to wish for the same extra sensory perception and now see that Nostradamus and such like were cursed by the gift of fore sight,for foresight cannot prevent ,it cannot prevent that which is inevitable and pre ordained.Instead I seek to learn from hindsight,history has proven that mankind is intent on war at at whatever cost to humanity,indeed scientists are researching more effective ways to eradicate parts of the human race at a faster pace than they are researching ways to maintain it,perhaps the only thing that will be an equalizer of race,colour and creed,politics at al will be the need to survive after that red button is pushed,it will,at last,make all men equal,money will be worthless,the very air that is breathed will be poisonous and the radiation will burn brighter than the sun,there will be no more arguing over religion as surely as God gave man free will man will abuse,use and negate it til he feels like the almighty in the nanosecond before society and the infrastructure as we know it is obliterated forever.All the gold in fot knox will be worthless as will the inflated bank accounts of politicions.
Indeed a deeply thought provoking piece of poetry that the reader wishes those that may choose to vacation when devastation is wreaking havoc across their nation wouul read,understand and validate instead of negate.Love and light,Yvette
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My favorite gardener
A silkie is a mermaid taking on the form of a human or a seal.
We are children who rather than grow up, became fascinated with our toys. Now our toys are deadly. We have invented science so we may keep our hands clean of our responsibilty for our knowledge.
Gnosis - the experience of and understanding of what it is we know.
We are far more than we are willing to be. We are each and everyone of us magnificent being with an immediate and meaningful access to all that is. We can become aware and in doing so see how we must shape our path by choice rather than convenience.
It is easier to remain children and be self centered, selfish and materialistic. We are all part of the same force. We are diminished whenever any part of us is not at its best. So you realize that earth is one sick puppy. Be not depressed nor afraid. Climb aboard the magical mystical tour and learn to know thy self. Meditation and deep breathing are always a good start. Most of what is availble is nonsense until we experience a paradigmn shift. Read some of the other comments. This shows up as it will.
Love, Tom B.
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yes back to simpler times, simpler things a deep and moving endeavor, very well written. only one minor thought for what its worth, horticulturist seem to hang out heir in the breeze above all of your other fine writing, that one word alone draws me and my eye front eh rest of the piece, dont get me wrong I loved it, its just that word kind of hangs like flapping shutter in the wind, very well done sir
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Hmm gardens of the soul
To know is to experience, to experience your experience is to be.
Gardener seemed to prosaic and horticulturist may be to esthetic or intellectual. Quandry! But I chose and now I ponder my choice anew.
There were no simpler times. Fairy tale. But there were those who study a understanding of self more in line with knowing the chi and where it came from. This ataman who is part and parcel of all of us and yet we are all molecules in the water. We can be aware and carve a new course or if we don't watch out we end up where we're headed.
Love, Tom B.
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Powerful
Very creative and powerful. Your imagery is wonderful. This is truely great and I am glad you shared it with us all. Hope you shate with other sites or publishers as well.
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Thank you
I must not know my own strengths. it took me forever to get this written. It's my first real try at this style of poetry. Thanks for finding it so successful. Love, Tom B.
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Tom, breathtaking, my Poet. This is worthy of a much wider audience...Your imagery is astounding, your words...unforgettable and wise. I am always left feeling like I've just been visited by a literary great after reading your works. Take it from me, my love, this is NOT crap...Love, Lane
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Wider, not on my lite diet
Your praise is wonderful and I will try to live up to it. Now, my friend, help me game plan how I get it to a wider audience. Love, Tom B.
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Varigated Tapestry
This is intricate, like the sort of visual puzzles that hold various images, individual agenda hidden in the overall picture which the viewer must find. Mandkinds inventiosn are a part of the structure, but don't always have much to do with the larger perception. It is our limited vision. I will have to read this several times, because there is much in it to ponder.
I am taken with the metaphor of "love and beings who dance the waves with dolphins' faith." What a lovely metaphor! It is visually beautiful and feels like music. That faith is the crux of all, and we would do well to take note without supercillious ambitions. Perhaps wiping the slate clean may also come to a loss of chalk necessary to sketch new dreams...the way the world is currently going.
~ Karen
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Vision thing
Trying to create this universe where we are responsible and if we continue to act like children are parents might get testy.
Love, Tom B.
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