Try to be calm, as life drifts away
Remember the good times that we had
Forget all the things that made you mad
Just close your eyes and fly!
And bid the faeries goodnight
Say goodbye to the world
Close your eyes and hold tight
Enter a realm that won't let you go
As you fall into endless sleep,
I'm trying not to cry
Holding you with love so deep,
I'm not wond'ring why
My wasted tears will fade away
As you walk on into day
Leave behind perpetual night
And embrace the beautious light!
Author notes
This really needs work, I can see that, and it's not near completion by quite a way. I'll add to it over time.
Basically, the tune is inspired by the beginning to a Bowling for Soup song, 'Ridiculous'. It's off the album 'A Hangover You Don't Deserve'. Both the song and album are excellent, and you should go buy it as soon as possible.
I guess I see it as a theoretical song a parent would sing as a child dies in their arms. That's the feeling I get from it anyways...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Aw...I love this!
A little more work, as time shapes it to perfection, will make it absolutely wonderful. But anyway, I like it as it is, too. It's got beautiful word usage, nice rhyme and flow, and very emotional.
"And bid the fairies goodnight..." I love that line.
Great job!
~QoA
P.S. I have the album; Ridiculous is indeed awesome!
-
If you changed the last two stanzas I think it would actually make a very good lullaby... It's beautifully written though, wonderful telling of hope and of love... Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
-
I love this song and I am sooooooo happy that someone qouted it and made a poem for it. I love bowling for soup and this poem is a nice way to say something about their greatness. I also liked the way you said how you wanted to slip away but also hold onto this world a little too. Thank you sooo much and good luck.
-
This was sad yet at the same time peaceful and kinda happy....I like the line "And bid the faeries goodnight". and trying not to cry...that was beautiful.
"Forget all the things that made you mad"
perhaps in that line [[and maybe the one before it]] you should change "mad" bacause it is one of those words that describes an emotion and all, but isn't vey strong.
Great write, thank you for entering and good luck in the contest!
<333 Jess -
lovely
You are in the poetry mate
I came checking you!!!!
Enter a realm that won't let you go....
My wasted tears will fade away...
I just loved it...
Go on writing and I will be back for more
XXJeannette

-
Wonderful!
This is such an exquisite poem! I love it because it i like you mixed fantasy and the longing of wanting to slip away, to want to just escape the world and all its drama and go to ecstacal place all your own into a poem that works!!!!!






