In the dark, I lay waiting
Cold whispers, silent echoes~
In the dark the dreams begins
Shifting, floating shadows~
In the dark, dimming light, scarlet heat
Ghastly, chilling screams
Ominous beasts~
Cherry ember eyes cry
Ancient evil
Decomposed rotting flesh~
In the nightmare, insane people sing
Weeping,
Bloodless, dancing bones~
Am I breathing?
Yet I see those demons
The walking dead~
In the nightmare
Deeper I tread
I look down, my hands dripping red~
In the darkness
Somewhere
I awaken
Sweating, gasping for breath~
In the soft dark night
The nightmare
Begins again~
Author notes
This is not my usual genre but I got the idea from two horror novels I just read
Ummm yeah it's different for me that's for sure
But I felt this had to be written the ghost was after me LOL
Luv you all
Susan~~~~
Written May 16th, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
-
Awesome piece here Susan and it can make the skin crawl just the feeling of something looming over me~Yikes~ Keep these coming for it will help me not sleep~LOL~
..Awesome piece 
~Big hugs 
and much love~Desire
-
In the dark the dreams begins
with that line, 'begins' doesn't need an 's' at the end if 'dreams' is intended to be plural.
i noticed in the picture, the specter is wearing a ring on the right hand. that doesn't sit well with me for some odd reason. the picture doesn't really invoke the nightmarish images described within the poem, but it fits to a certain extent. as the specter above the sleeping woman looks devilishly sinister.
i can't say i know your style, as this is the first piece of yours i've read. at least... i think it is. but the pacing effect in this poem is pulled off quite well. not many people can give that 'stop and go' approach to horror. and even if they can, they hardly make it work to it's full effect. but in your piece, you used it, and put the desired effect into the reader's mind. i suppose you could label me envious of that, as my horror pieces have been nothing but overrated garbage.
in short, not bad. i've read other 'nightmare' pieces, but none have been filled with any justifiable talent such as that which you hold and wield so well.
-
WOW Blush!!!! This was really great!!!!
Gave me the chills!!!! You did good!!!!
~Laura
-
well that was yes well very good i loved it i have nothing critical here to say
%^B^% -
i love this piece blushfulmoon. i didnt know u wrote these kinds of writes. i must go back to your page and search for some more. please write some more like this.
keep it coming!!!!!!!
-queen of the damned -
Wow....This was interesting to read, I got more intruiged as I read along..Heh reminds me I should write about my nightmares...then again..My nightmares.....Good write!!
-
I am not a fan of horror movies or books really, but every now and again its fun to explore that side. Great write...I really enjoyed it. Just don't want to have any nightmares anytime soon. Prefer the erotic dreams instead.
My best to you!
Mary Ann -
Wow, this is awesome. And the picture is a great effect to this poem. I really like this, great write.
-
wow this is so morbid but i love it. it's like horror in poetry form. gothic beauty outlined in words. nice job!
-
This is very well written. It has a dark, gothic feel to it which I like. Gives me a case of the shivers. It flows very well.
-
awesome
I like this one...I had a Night of the Living Dead flashback. Great job...Write more please...Ray of Sunshine -
Oh my word
All these review i would thank each of you but it would take forever so I am doing what I know how and that is thanking all of you all personally
Your comments means so much
Much love
Susan
-
This is a really good write...
I wish i could say more but i cant
keep on wrighting
heather joeslilcuz
-
This is really good! I really like the spoke and the fear that it lays on me. I will lye awak all night tonight! This was a really good horror write it rally does give a creepy auror to the room now that I sit here in the dark. I think I might go turn on the light. Wonderful imagery very powerful. Thanks for the comment and I will have to read more of yours! After I get some tea!
Much Love.
*Lady* -
HOLY SHIT. Girl, this is so not your style but it is sooooo cool. Congrats on the reviews. Sounds like you have found a new genre to write to. Hehehe. HUGZ girlie. Love yas.
-
You are right girl, not your style but still wonderful just the same.
You can write about anything and make it good!
{That picture is dead creepy by the way, lol!}
Nice work as always Susan, keep that imagination going...
Hugs, ~ Ce -
excellent write
phew...wat a rush!!! it's very obnoxious to experience nightmares... sometimes it's so real and it keeps the haunting feeling inside forever!!!
this very despriptive and hoRREndous,hey thanx for sharing..\
~~ille
-
This is cool. You give such good description, yet you leave one with enough left open to draw a larger picture. Sheesh....nightmares. I have too many of those, and you give us an apt feeling about how it feels to be in one, wanting to wake up and not being able to. Come see me soon.
-
Creepy.It freaked me out a bit, but not too bad.Good write.
Sherri
-
Excellent
Definitely not your usual, but you did a great job! Wouldn't have minded waiting 'til morning to read this LOL The picture scared the #%#@ out of me before I even read your poem
Descriptive and vivid imagery (maybe a little too vivid for nighttime reading LOL) Thanks for sharing
~Kathy -
Bone chilling, almost to the point where I am afraid to sleep lol. Good writting.
-
Eep! That was scawwy Blush!
But I liked it! heehhe thanks for sharing your "other sides" to us! I am starting to learn how to expand my horizons also! Thanks again
-
Awesome
Wow, love that pic. That was an awesome poem my dear. Not your norm, you should give it a try more often. You did this very beautifully, really you did. I really enjoyed this piece. I actually felt a beauty behind it all. Hugs, Tisha -
I should have waited to read this before bed..I love a good ghost story when it's very late at nite!!! LOL...enjoyed this very much Susan...you did a fantastic job on it...very chilling and eerie!!!! Feel free to drift from your usual genre at any time!!! a superb write!!!!
-
i like this... wow...
dark and forboding... erie and mean...
wonderful write here!
blessed be
- for such a nightmare
mike -
In the soft dark night
The nightmare
Begins again~
i HATE that...and by hate that i mean, when you wake up, only to fall asleep to the same freakin nightmare! it happens to me SO often! then again im plagued by nightmares at least ...4 times a week...bleh...
i liked this...as i liked graveyard...very different from your style, but very nice nonetheless
Nyx... -
ohhhh, creepy susan, really good job with a style you don't use often and very good job making it creepy:) I really enjoyed this, it definitely sent chills up my spine, very good:)
what novels was this based on?
anyway, i liked it susan, good job:)
kayla* -
don\'t touch it
My goodness girl, that was just simply fantastic, Wow!
Really, I mean Wow!!!
You must do more of these, it was just awesome!!!
The imagery, the style and the words flowed great as well!!!
Keep up the great works, O so scary, heehee!!! ~Smiles~
-Timothy -
Wow, Susan, this is awesome!!!!!!!! Very scarey, and spooky images!!!! You should do more of these, your very good at it:):)
Love ya,
Karen/
-
WOW!!!!! That was really EERIE!!!! You did a great job Sis!!!
I have some scary ones to in a collection....I don't write many of them though, I don't think i'm very good at them!!!! You seem to have the talent for them though!!! ~Laura
-
twas very creepy and reminiscent of a bad dream I will likely never forget I suppose, very scary, and very good imagery, wonderful write, I do hope this is only living in the novel, tis not good dreams if it isn't and if you are having nightmares just think of happy little huggy guys, and smiley people that just want to hug yas, because me knows Susan is a huggable one,
most sincerely,
joe -
Nicely done Sis.. LOLOLOLOL you're right.. not your usual style.. but a chilling write indeed!!! great images here...
A worthy horror piece... you should do more.. branch out
~GILL~xx -
Oh I hate scarey movies and books because of that. I always seem to be paranoid after I see them. I have nightmares as well. This is very chilling Susan.
Red -
Yep, this was eerie, alright! A good eerie, Sis! LOL Enjoyed it! Like Johnny, I'd like to read some more like this...you do it so well!
Luv ya!
< 3 Maureen
-
Hey, this is an awesome write, Susan.... what book were you reading? Stephen King is my favorite author. I love a good scare. BOO!
-
Thanks Odeon8
Your comment means a lot to me
Guess i need to venture off in another genre more often LOL
Luv ya all
Susan
-
Thanks Lynn my girlfriend here in Greensburg and taxi service and all around a wonderful person*smile*
Thank you Heather your commments always appreciated*smile*
And Johhny thank you too hun i was afraid to write this cuz not my normal style i am surprised you all liked it thanks again the encouragement means a lot
Susan
-
hey, this is great you did a really good job on this. just goes to show that no matter what you write about you do it well hun really enjoyed this one. Blessed be
-
Write On!!!
Hello Susan,
Well..all I can say is WOW!!! Very eerie and dark..just like I love them. Your visions are haunting. The imagry was FANTASTIC!!! I reall have to have more!! Please write more!!! You have now whet my appitite!!! This was GREAT!!!! Thank you for sharing this dark nightmare with me
~Johnny -
This is so incredibly different from what you normally write, but you did a wonderful job at it. Gave me the chills, thats for sure. Good chills, of course. I love the entire concept of it, and you did a beautiful job with your words and making it come alive
Stunning, simply stunning hun
-Heather -
GASP TOTALLY DIFFERENT! This was AMAZING too! SO vivid and yet there was a very vague feel to it. Like that of a dream or nightmare. FABULOUS! Just wow! You never cease to amaze me
HUGS -
5 stars
I love it Susan, i cant tell you enough, definately my style of writing but you did a great job. You amaze me every single time. ~Love~
~*Lynn*~
Adding your comment:
1 - 42 of 42
1 old applause
