I never wake up at five,
and find email that's just come.
But the vibrations of your words
are perhaps, different.
Suddenly, two-year old images
have captured me back in to the past.
Two people madly in love,
With passions too powerful to control.
Till he comes one day and tells me,
"The girl who hugged you yesterday.
No longer wants to hear your name,
As if you hardly ever mattered to her."
For someone who had loved,
I was more than just 'hurt'.
And yes there were questions:
Was I not good enough,
or did you like someone else?
Was it because I was still an Indian,
and perhaps you'd become British?
Or was it someone else's wish,
who mattered more to you than I?
I'd never know,
for you never bothered to tell,
or to look back and see,
that it was not a thread you were breaking,
but a man.
And you'd never know,
that it rained even after you left,
just that there were fewer drops
in the sky, than in my heart.
and that whenever I got drenched,
I still missed you.
And you'd never know,
that the moon still came
almost every night, to remind me
of your words, "whenever you miss me,
look at the moon, and I'd be looking too."
I hope you did...
And the moon still comes up
across the skyscrapers in the US,
and we look at each other and smile,
we've been doing that for two years.
And now you ask one day,
how I am doing
after having been swallowed,
in to black holes of nothingness... ?
You tell me you've read
the poems of my pain,
and never hated me,
for you knew where I was coming from...
I did, I did hate you, I won't lie.
But life's been great, I should share,
to have absorbed all bitterness somewhere.
Yes, I actually smile when I talk to you,
and it's not something I put up.
And I want you to smile, as well,
and feel happy in your heart
that no volcanoes of hate can destroy
A love that once was, and will always be,
perhaps not between me and you,
but between me and who you once were.
So whenever I see you next, if at all,
I hope we can sit for a coffee,
and that you'd let me pay,
even if you have a husband by your side.
And I hope I'd just be alone,
but not lonely...
4 Dec, 2006
Author notes
#5 Feelings - Passion
In a list
A contest entry
- Pain. by forbidden-colour.
300 points, ended November 13, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Such a beautiful poem,
I loved the simplicity and the down to earth lagnuage, like a real story.
Thank you for entering.
x -
"It is a fine line between love and hate"
There are parts in this poem, that speak, quite loudly, to me. To lose love is always a devestating thing, but few can write about it with the talent you have here.
I must admit the length of this had me worried at first but once I started reading I was so caught up in the words I didn't even notice.
The last two lines of the thirteenth stanza especially... there is something about them that nearly everyone can relate to. Something sad, yet hopeful in a way.
Thank you for entering with this piece and giving me the chance to read it.
Best of luck
-
Perfect!
Bravo!!
Though secretly, personally, I dont want her to smile.. not yet anyway.. not without a realisation or resolution with th one concerned..
But sau, this write is different, and it shows you've poured your heart into this.. which makes it so heartfelt and beautiful and raw. This is my fav poem from you. Keep going!!
Many applauses sau.. real happy for ya :-)
Lots of love, kisses.
kj :-)
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oh ma -
just listening to 'Tere Bina' (Guru) and it suddenly sounds sad.. besuaadi ratiyaa
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Speechless!
Wow, you've really weaved a perfect necklace of flawless sparkling diamonds of your words. Very well written honest and heartfelt piece. I'm so sorry if you had to go through the pain of love...I believe to taste the tender sweetness of true love, the journey through the rough paths of heart break only makes it sweeter....It is very well written emotions and feelings that have come straight from your heart and can be felt. But I love the ending the most where you have surpassed the hurt, the pain and the anger and opened your broken heart once again with the hope to find true love. Very beautiful! Take Care & Love to Live Life to the Fullest
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Strong Emotional Poem
Hey sau seem like you are periced with cupid's arrow stright to the heart and you are branded for life with this love.You have a wonderful way of expressing your feelings.Loving, Loosing and Wanting still is no crime but powerful love .....Unconditional as you end your last line. Great job! z
keep the ink flowing.
Hope one day you get the love you so deserved.
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worth reading
wow !!!! You have used impressive and unique images!!! Your poem is filled with emotions which the reader definitely can feel while reading!!!
I wish you all the best 
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Time heals
Sometimes we feel such an anger that even hurts to think about, and I guess that anger isn't the right word, sadness and deception might be the right ones.
Time gives us the chance to put all straight and stand up again, that is when we can smile to those who have caused us pain. I'm glad to know your time to smile has arrived
-
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Yes Mari, you're spot on!
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There is so much you have written in this poem which I not only relate, Sau, but tells me I'm not alone in this feeling...So it's not to be lonely, but only alone for me, too.
You written so well the feelings of push-and-pull that play inside us in the state of after-love...the part of us that truly wants to hate, but the part of us that still loves and will in some ways continue to love forever.
Beautiful writing, Sau, through-and-through.
Jo
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This made my heart lurch, it was written in a beautiful monolugue style that made me feel you speaking the words from your heart and pouring them into a letter you would never send. Loved everything abou this.
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*hug*
Sometimes it is the calm within that makes the difference Sau. Maintain the calm you have found in your self and your instincts about things will naturally take care of the rest, no matter the path you steer down... don't forget to have a heart to heart with yourself
Beautifully written.s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
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Amazing
Wow- AMAZING poem.
I loved the lines:
"And you'd never know,
that it rained even after you left,
just that there were fewer drops
in the sky, than in my heart.
and that whenever I got drenched,
I still missed you."
Wow... simply amazing.
Keep up the excellent work, and good luck in the contest!
-Sally
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This is so personal and beautifully
intimate. I've been there, too, and
you know what? Got stronger, made
amends, continued to find beautiful
people around every corner. I love
this poem. Lane -
This is a deeply emotional piece, so well writen im sure many can identify with this! Great work, good luck in the contest
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good but hard
i couldnt be that strong, not yet not after barely losing her. oh im sorry it was almost like you could give me advice, i appreciated your poem.
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Amazing
Well done for capuring the emotion of loving, loosing and then still wanting the best for someone. I'm sure its happend to us all and it will again. I really liked your imagery, something i'm still trying to master in my own poems lol.
Well done, Fe x -
"that it was not a thread you were breaking, but a man." Sighhh...Love cannot be commanded...yet, after reading your heartfelt words cast upon this page, I can only think, "What a fool she was, to lose this man ~ to hurt him so deeply..." I am sorry for the depths & widths of your suffering, my Friend...Even if it's "only a poem", you had to have known its unfathomable agony in order to understand it so well...You make it accessible & offer hope in the sharing...Please continue sharing your gift with the world, Sau; the world needs all the Poets it can hold...Well done, Poet... Wanda
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Cool!! It expresses some long-distance love very well -or at least to me, that's what the poem says.
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beautiful.
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oh my goodness this poem is so sad. I know it's probably not meant to, since in the end it sounds like you have come to terms with the break up. But, for me just the thought of losing the person you love for whatever reason is heart wrenching to me.
I like the way you stated everything. It was too the point and it all flowed well as it told the story. Very lovely poem.. I love the last lines:
"And I hope I'd be just alone,
but not lonely..."
no one wants to be lonely. -
Strong
Wonderful expression, Sau.
I sometimes wonder what I would say to someone who had rejected me that way, and I cannot make myself so vulnerable.
"it was not a thread you were breaking,
but a man. "
This shows the depth of old feeling, and how you still feel. This is amazing writing.
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Gorgeous.
This is a lovely, heartfelt piece of writing. You convey so well the feelings one has when someone walks back into their life. If this is from personal experience, may i say you have acheived something incredible, by not allowing yourself to feel bitter, despite the pain you felt. I love the final line, it's extremely poignant in highlighting the different between being alone and being lonely. It also leaves an air of incompletion, like you haven't ruled out any possibilities yet, but all the same you intend to go on with your life. Congratulations x Aphré
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Incredible
This was filled with raw emotion for an experience that ended positively. I don't know if I could have faired so well if I were in this situation. The last two lines are haunting. I'll definitely bookmark this one. Great job. Peace.
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