The wind whispered seductively,
then hushed its first and last breath,
as cold sugar lay crystallizing upon life's limbs.
Shivering, staring into the sky,
stars, tiny portholes into heaven--
allowing me to glimpse and strive to grasp,
searching, climbing, reaching.
Delusions fall into my eyes,
as the moon winks with abandon;
Flirting shamelessly,
tossing its twilight like a top hat,
that I yearned to don and dance the night away--
in silhouette, to the orchestra of ocean waves,
playing on my mind.
Music to those who hear none, only from within.
Steady in its rhythm, thrusting and burning
with intensity, imprinted forever upon my body.
I belong now among the thunder,
to sit upon its trumpet as it reverberates,
deeply rumbling with love.
To stare again into summer,
with the warmth of sand, curling into my toes,
engraving its message of memory.
To run as the rain, seeping from limbs,
languid, dripping life's essence--
upon the mossy ground, springing to life,
in scents so intoxicating;
Nectar of the gods, to sip and dream,
as tongues slide into crevices of cream.
I fall now like burnished leaves upon a grassy bed,
crushed and mindless in my oblivion.
Filled in this cloak of colored emotions,
reborn in my virginity--
when all was new and yearning;
touched with fingers of excitement, no longer hurried--
as hands cold and enticing, linger on foreign soil
and I gasp...
Pulling the cloak closer, fingers of numbing ecstasy--
on lips chaste from hunger,
as waves of cerulean blue crash heavily
into the endless rivers of my brain, joyous--
dividing thought and emotion, as I struggle to survive,
swimming aimlessly against the deluge.
Clouds part the morning sky, houses of my dreams,
cresting my horizons.
Puffy white, creamy dreams of love and life,
reaching down, fingers feel the melting moistness--
like dew, dripping from the petals of my rose;
I am consumed by the seasons,
lost among its riotous beauty, leaving a sweet taste
upon my waiting lips, as I gasp once more...
Satiated...for now...until the wanton winds
blow once more their yearnings across waiting peaks,
heightening my desire, leaving me breathless.
Author notes
Option: 2,
In a list
A contest entry
- Imagery, Metaphor, Message and Any subject!!!!!! by Heavens Child.
525 points, ended April 9, 2007, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire Me! Earth/Nature Poetry by iamlost.
600 points, ended April 22, 2007, 39 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 154th Contest by Tarja.
450 points, ended January 15, 2008, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites w/ options!!!!! by perfectsunset.
450 points, ended August 14, 2008, 51 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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(bows) Perfection
wow, my hat is off, you slayed your option...sublime and eternal..Good on ya mate!!
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Wow.
Your words left me breathless. You took the seasons and boy did you ever give them definition. You blew passion into their bones. I don't even know where to begin, I loved everything.. imagery was intense and I enjoyed the hidden meanings and brilliant metaphors within. This was one delight to read, and one that I would read continuously. Such a sensual masterpiece you have penned here. Loved it!!!
Best of luck & thanks for entering
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beautifully writen.. i just loved it. thank you for entering it
best of luck
abdulla -
this is great.... you capture the moment in time... thanks for sharing for job well done
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Congrats on the gold and bronze trophies. This was absolutely stunning, first let me comment on the captivating and unavoidable title... secondly the picture was just... incredible. It had such a remarkable way of pulling the reader in and letting them know something fantastic was awaiting below. And of course the poem itself sweeps the reader off of their feet in an instant and doesn't let go until the last line. Super! Thank you so much for this awesome entry and good luck.
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The imagery in this poem is delightful as it attacks all the senses. You address color, motion, smell ans temperature' it makes the reader feel cood... brrrr... No wonder it has won so many trophys, well done!
Love,
Amera♥
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Congratulations on third place, it was entries like this that made this contest hard to judge! The beauty of the language and building emotion in this piece stuck out in my mind during the judging, this is a truly breath-taking poem!
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Mesmerizing and sensual, vivid and lovely.
All the superlatives have already been taken.
All I can do is applaud.
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Wow.
This is amazing, very breath-taking and erotic. The sexual hints are there, enough to tantalize and capture but not disgust, only inspire. Beautiful, absolutely marvelous work. The language and wording is superb, and the imagery is transcendent. What a beautiful entry in this contest, you have pounded me with weather, with nature, with the seasons, and very effectively achieved the title of my contest, Inspire me! Wonderful, beautiful poem, thank you for sharing it with me! -
Bravo!
I'm speechless.......This is absolutely breath-taking. Your talent is one to apsire to, the title is brilliant. I don't know what else to say, I'm just in awe of this piece. Thank you for the entry in my contest. -
AMazing description immense alliteration lovly imagery and metaphors this poem as perfect the picture didn't see what I saw because your poetic teachniques had plays alot of imagination in my mind
its good -
Ok, so here's how i'll comment, considering its length. First I'll read it all and then i'm going to comment as i read the 2nd time (or the other way around O.o), so if this comment sounds chopy... i'm sorry. lol
I love the way you started it. Got my attention already, which is followed so well. Oh gosh i love it.
"stars, tiny portholes into heaven" Now.. how beautiful is THAT. I'm on the fifth line and i'm already in love. lol
the parallel verbs "searching, climbing, reaching" are just lovely for the end of a stanza, and the anticipation of the next
i have nothing bad to say so far. the transitions are so nice and smooth. so well connected.
"in scents so intoxicating-
nectar of the gods, to sip and dream," beautiful... I love this all.
this is so freakin sexual in such a tasteful manner...
I loved everything about it. It's orgasm of seasons alright. lol
A pleasure to read.
this is way i like having contests :-P
best wishes,
AlbaSoul -
"to run as the rain, seeping from limbs,
lanquid, dripping life's essence-"
A great poem, loved the vibrant sensuality and also the fact that it incorporates nature. I also thought you did a nice job with the alliteration, and imagery. Lovely work, thank you very much for entering my contest.
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I just wanted to tell you again, how much I loved your poem, it is a real masterpiece, and definitely one of my favorite poems I have read from you so far ...
maa -
This is delicious!
Every single stanza is succulent. This poem wraps itself around the reader in a billowy cloud. Very beautiful and filled with elegant metaphors. My favorite passage;
"I fall now like burnished leaves upon a grassy bed,
crushed and mindless in my oblivion.
filled in this cloak of coloured emotions,
reborn in my virginity-
Excellent!
I wish you the best in this challenge.
Much Love & Many Blessings ♥
Renee
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Omg.....*blinks in amazement*. This is bookmark quality, not to mention heartwarming and stunning. I was in love with it, and especially the verse on thunder...wow! Thanks so much for sharing this. Best wishes
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Whoa, I simply must....
*Tips his hat to you and bows*
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Beautiful write Bunny
s So many things are constantly changing both within and around us and the transition into a change can be very like the tug of war between seasons... the old fights for survival but even the slightest stir begins a succession of changes, even if barely noticable.
Terrific writes and best wishes... ~Genie~
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Pure unadulterated imagery here and a joy to read, you have a great vocabulary throughout the piece which touches and explores the readers mind. Good luck.
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Awesome
Wow, this is beyond any words I could say to give do it justice. Very well thought out, Fantastic imagery, sensual. You have done it again.
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It really takes off on it's own!!
Thought I'd come back again to read this.
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Sensual
Very soft and gentle in the descriptions enticing images abound, flurying to get to the surface of my brain. Interesting all the way through, holding my attention entirely. Deep and sensual, with a touch of mother nature's charm wrapped around wording, enhancing the mood.
I'm quite impressed with your write here. Glad I stumbled across it..
Keep up the great work. -
well than
the first thing that caught me was the title. and the poem itself delivered on what the title promised. very interesting write. i can't write about nature very often. but you, you seemed to write about nature in a way i have never seem befor. * leaving me feeling kind of violated* lol all in all this was a great write. good job Bunny
Great Write and God Bless
Pastoral Poet
Ben B.
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nice
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Wow this is awesome
The metaphors and passion in this piece run deep and strong a very impressive write. It is erotic and descriptive at the same time youve done it again oh one of the golden pen. This was very sensual and the images strong great job blending this one together. Your talent is amazing.
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oh I so love the seasons some better than others, but still I feel so blessed to be able to live out the seasons as they come and go so many live where they do not get the seasons we do...A great write
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Wow
Quite erotic and gently sensual at the same time, if that makes sense! Bunny
Loved this piece so very much and you have used this free verse form beautifully.
I love wondrful metaphors you used. Thye all fit so well togethter. I love the nature metaphors to describe nature's finest feelings. Your title fits perfectly also
Best to you in this contest my friend
Gaylene
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:)
It worked now....just came back from applauding another one...so I thought this might be the right moment (as it worked then) so let's see......
reenie
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so many ways to read this , so many ways to interprete this...all of them tinted with beauty and a bit of sensuality without making any of it so obvious to make it the first thing that hits the reader.
Your diction is impeccable-----leading perfectly from one stanza into the next, ending in a crescendo of the orchestra in your mind with the last stanza. There is not one single thing that I would dare suggest to change My very best wishes in this contest....I see it is one that is on round three. May you go all the way to the top
reenie
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Amazing!
This was a journey of the mind, most eloquent and evocative.
Shrouded in mystery, this poem (somehow that word doesn't do justice to this work) is vast and expansive.
My favourite part of this:
"to stare again into summer,
with the warmth of sand, curling into my toes,
engraving its message of memory.
to run as the rain, seeping from limbs,
lanquid, dripping life's essence-
upon the mossy ground, springing to life-
in scents so intoxicating-
nectar of the gods, to sip and dream,
as tongues slide into crevices of cream."
Brilliant writing, keep it up!
Kind regards~
Previn -
pure passion
wow, bunny, it seems like a million volts have entered your being, causing your muses to produce pure fireworks of masterful art, with an additional touch of passion expressed through a bright palette of colorful imagery and truly inventive and sophisticated vocabulary.
no need to say that I am impressed.
a fantastic job - and I don't just say it because we're in the same team.
maa
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