Momma got knocked up by good ole' Santa
In the back of our Chevy '64
You can say that elf is just a phony
But papa's feeding one more mouth for sure.
She's been wearin' too much make up
And her perfume smelled too strong
But momma still got in the car
Until we'd noticed she'd been gone too long.
When she stumbled in that mornin'
Hair a mess and clothes askew
I knew that Santa shagged her
That he swiftly 'swept her flue'.
Momma got knocked up by good ole' Santa
In the back of our Chevy '64
You can say that elf is just a phony
But papa's feeding one more mouth for sure.
Now I feel so bad for papa,
But he never lets it show.
Caught him checkin' out the pornos
Gettin' blown and screwin' 'round with Mrs. Flo.
What a Christmas with knocked-up momma,
And papa, he's still unaware
That her and Santa go rockin'
In the backseat of the family Corvair.
Momma got knocked up by good ole' Santa
In the back of our Chevy '64
You can say that elf is just a phony
But papa's feeding one more mouth for sure.
Now the bun inside her over
It's almost time to 'ding'
When papa saw the shiny sparkle
Of Santa's gift, a mega diamond ring.
I've told all my friends I have at school
"Momma's gettin it on with the jolly elf.
Five bucks, and I'll get ya
A chance to see it all yourself."
Momma got knocked up by good ole' Santa
In the back of our Chevy '64
You can say that elf is just a phony
But papa's feeding one more mouth for sure.
Author notes
So I have a sick sense of humor!!
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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LOL, yup you do, but so do most of us!! Great little ditty you penned. Made me smile. Thanks for sharing.
Jeannie
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Thank you Jeannie. I've always known my sense of humor was, ummm, out there. Appreciate the comments.
Storm
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OMG
Autumn, this is hysterical. The laughs were so needed. You rewrote this perfectly. Oh, it's raunchy and funny. So good hon, so good.
My love to you
Vickie
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Thank you Vickie, glad you enjoyed. Apprciate the comments hun.
Storm
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brilliant
omg so funny, well done indeed!
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Thank you very much, appreciate the comments.
Storm
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this is a funny one babe. Had me laughing
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Thanks hun, apprecite it.
Storm
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Still Outstanding
Was laughing so hard I messed up on my comments, so you had two, lol, this is great, your talent knows no end. Great job and great poem, John
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LMAO, thanks John, appreciate your comments. Glad you enjoyed.
Storm
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Outstanding and funny too
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Damn....Weird Al better watch out because this was so good. Very funny, I needed the laugh first thing in the morning. Great job Storm....would love to see more..hmmmmm a possible contest idea in the making..I wonder?
**Ktulu Blackwolfe**
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LOL, thanks Ktulu, appreciate your comments. Glad it got you smiling. A contest? Hmmm....
Storm
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Too cute, Storm! I really needed the smiles and this sure brought one!
Many hugs,
Sandy -
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Thank you Sandy, glad I could bring some smiles.
Storm
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Brilliant
And hilarious.
lmao great stuff
Really good parody
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Thank you Adrian, appreciate the comments hun.
Storm
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Demented my dear!
Hey, I happen to like your sick sense of humor. A bit demented, but that's okay! I so love your version here! Maybe I'll sing it this year! I know hubby would love to hear this version sung! 
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LOL, thank you for the comments (and of course not mindeing my sick sense of humor, lol). I was singing it this morning, now that is sick!!!
Storm
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Twisted to Perfection
You are too good! This is wonderful and I love the image that develops as the song goes on. Getting shagged in the back of a 64 chevy is not something that everyone gets to experience. I guess it helps to come bearing gifts! ha ha
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LOL, thanks for the comments love, appreciate it. Glad you liked it.
Storm
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OH MY GAWD I LOVED IT!!!
Glad to know I am not the only one who is into doing these!!!!
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Thank you Melissa. Nope, I love re-writing songs and this one just had me laughing all the way. Appreciate the comments.
Storm
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OMG THIS IS AWESOME!
Hey I love sick sense of humor....there is a lot more humor in it then in normal humor LOL (does that make sense???) I love christmas songs and really love most all parodies and I do think this can definitely play in the big leagues
I am glad I got to read this and I think it sounds so close to the real thing it's spooky
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LOL thank you so much for the comment, really appreciate it. Glad you enjoyed this.
Storm
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Awesome
Add a few more words in to add rhymthm. E.g.
Now I feel OH so bad for papa,
But he never SEEMS TO let it show.
Caught him checkin' out those filth pornos
Gettin' blown and screwin' 'round with Mrs. Flo.
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I tried to stay as close to the syllable count as the original, but may have strayed a bit here and there as I was falling off my chair laughing. I will take a look at it. Thanks for the comment, much appreciated.
Storm
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Were papa&santa ever seen in the same photgraph together?
Trixie Pixies parents be,
Mebee yo' mam, an excuse you see,
Tol' you 'bout some "elf" name o' "Santa"
Just soo Papa could go and Panto
With her (and wither her flanks -
The Ring? They knocked over a few banks.)
Reasonably well done scansion: the "until" of "until we'd noticed..." I felt could be revised, if not the whole conception of the line, which implies a past action was dependant on future results observations: time travel anyone? (So says Santa, who apparently can travel at such a speed that any normal reindeer would be burnt to a crisp - he must be a TimeLord or something, oi rekkonz).
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Summer (Winter up north)Solstice Salutations,
MA.
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I was laughin too hard as I was writing. I'll take a look at that and see what I can revise on it. Thanks for the comments, much appreciated.
Storm
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This is the cat's meow when it comes to adult humor. That third verse had me rolling on the floor. It's outrageously raunchy and ridiculous. I loved it. Thanks for the belly laughs. I much enjoyed.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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Thanks Leo, appreciate the commetns. Glad you got some good laughs from it.
Storm
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ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......... ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook. that was weird. ya. that's all i have to say
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Just had to spit out a parody and that;s what hit me. Thanks for reading.
Storm
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WOW
This is awesome!! We laughed the whole time we were reading... YOU ROCKED THIS!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Always,
Mel
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Thank you for reading and commenting. My mind is in warped mode tonight can ya tell? LOL
Storm
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This piece gives a new meaning to the words "Ho-Ho-Ho"
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LOL, thanks for the comments.
Storm
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