Listen as the my heartbeat breaks
Can you hear it?
F
.
E
.
A
.
R
.
S
They no longer call
Ignore me, it's easy you see
Just another nonsense thought
The itsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up in babies bed
Spreading out the cobwebs
And drowning out his head
Out came the sun
And blinded as he bled
And the itsy-bitsy spider
Left the baby dead
Breath in, oh did the pretty girl speak
Nope just the whipsers of the wind
Blowing through your hollow soul
M
.
I
.
N
.
D
it's a figmnet of darkness
no it's not really there
Leave me go, yes watch me bleed
Hush, little baby, please don't cry.
it's not your fault you had to die
I'll drown you in my crystal meth tears
so your screams no one hears
Just push away and stop your plees
they'll never bring mommy to her knees
Listen to the music while the light shines bright
close your eyes and do what's right
Gun shots and roses will set you free
your the burden set upon mommy
Mommy won't cry, and your wounds won't heal
but don't you worry, you weren't real
what was that, oh nevermind
insanity was what claimed you
call out my name, let me soar
or have you lost it
F
.
O
.
R
.
E
.
V
.
E
.
R
will I haunt you
so don't you go and forget me now
...because...
...I...
...won't...
...let...
...you...
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
bringing back my bloody scars
Up above the world so high
drowning out my final cry
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
bleeding out from what you are
what are those tears
they can't be xXshedXx for me
no, no they only fall for you
.
WHY'D
.
I
.
DIE
.
.let me go!.
.
.you can't do that!.
.
.i'm a part of you.
.
.i can feel you.
.
.i am you!.
Rain rain, go away
I think the image is here to stay
I feel the heat of the fire so
My screaming mind is blank to go
inhale, the insatity
..salvation..no you can't have it!..
let me go!
let me bleed!
B
.
E
.
A
.
U
.
T
.
I
.
F
.
U
.
L
i could have been all you wanted
but no changes left the for the weak
take me down, when i'm not even looking
Rock-a-bye baby, in the tree top
The wind broke down, the branch that you rock
The cradle fell down, and you smothered in smoke
And down came the baby, withered and broke
ethonal thoughts
and alcohol dreams
/hold/ me/ in/
the smoke gagging me
i can/ not/ breath
i can/ not/ think
C
.
H
.
O
.
K
.
I
.
N
.
G
i'm gone, can you see me
i don't think so, you never could
you'll never hear me, you'll never see
you'll never get to know who you left
././.behind././.
Now I'm finally lain to sleep
Forevermore my soul you'll keep
Killing me, feeding on my cry
I hope the guilt, makes you die
♥
Author notes
Well if you couldn't get it, it's about abortion. I don't think its right, but thats my opinion.
comment if you wish.
Death to all
2. Write about something dark and deep -- pain and grief that you need to rid of
------
no option--for other contest
A contest entry
- BIG POINTS 1st place 1000!!! Impress Me! 100 line minimum by tinydarkgoddess.
1400 points, ended December 18, 2006, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blinded Sorrow by EvenStarsBreak--x.
450 points, ended June 3, 2007, 32 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING by a means to an end.
600 points, ended July 10, 2007, 65 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - She sits in her corner singing herself to sleep wrapped around in the promises that no one seems to keep. by Starz of Heaven.
525 points, ended June 22, 2007, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best emotional poems! by TwiztidMaggot.
380 points, ended June 14, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Open up and give me emotion by Velvet Rose Petals.
1150 points, ended September 21, 2008, 53 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I must be insane. PREWRITES! by borrowing.moonlight.
720 points, ended July 30, 83 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
comment if you wish
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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DAMN
-
pouring with emotions
firstly i love the style and layout- very creative... more than that the emotions just poured out left me motionless, breathless... wow
-
They no loner call
i think you meant longer..
i still very much love love love this. -
Wow!
Incredibly creative and with alot of dark emotions. You really kept me interested and hungry through the whole poem. Intense from the very beginning! Thank you for the interesting read.
As for the subject, I'm not against abortion :I I think everyone should have the right to choose it themselves. But that's just my opinion. -
AMAZING
this is way interesting. you kept my attention throughout the poem. i like how u you used different lines from children songs. very unique indeed. a lot of dark emotions set into innocent childrens songs..
As for the actual message of the poem. I agree with what you are saying. abortion i do not believe in and this is really true about it. Very good write. You captured how truly cruel it is to kill and innocent little baby, who could grow up to be such a wonderful person..
BRAVO!
good luck in the contest..
Rose
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wow.....i mean wow i think abortion is wrong too and im sorry for all the babies that are aborted every day its terrible to think people [[if you can call them that]]think this is ok and do it without a second thought. nice work and good luck in my contest!
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good job.
I like this... (even tho I don't really like the mentioning of drugs and smoking and alcohol... I wil let that slide... since I didn't think to put that in the rules...) good job, tho... I will let you stay in the contest with this... only becasue i'm nice like that... lol. good emotion, I like the way you broke everything down here... Ilove the way you used old things like :Twinkle twinkle little stary and rockabye baby... things like that... good job!
good luck!
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This is an amazing write. It is different and unique.
Thank you for your entry and best wishes to you -
this was an interesting and very good piece. thanks for entering and much luck in the contest!
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wow, that was amazing. that was one of the saddest poems i have ever read/ truely i think you have expressed something many people won't ever talk about. beautiful job. incredible. i understood the meaning although not at first. i think adding the nursery rhymes and lullabyes was a nice touch. awesome job
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Love:
"The itsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up in babies bed
Spreading out the cobwebs
And drowning out his head
Out came the sun
And blinded as he bled
And the itsy-bitsy spider
Left the baby dead"
-So twisted! Creative, clever.
I'm not one for weird accentuations, as said in rules, but I like what you've done.
Really this was cool.
'Luck to you. -
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so it can stay? ^.^
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wow... it's kind of creepy... i love it... good job and thanks for entering my contest... ^-^
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Beautiful
Wicked poem I loved it. The nursery ryms were just awesome esspecially 'Rock-a-bye-baby' and 'Itsy-Bitsy Spider' were very well done.
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Nice Dude
I liked it a lot it was very deep and it just pulled you in and i wanted to keep reading a twist on babies lullabies coolness
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interesting
this was very well writen , though the impact would of been better with diffrent format , i realy enjoyed reading it :-) keep writeing
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thanks for such a great comment you just left in my poem then
i will not read this now as i am not feeling that great to concentrate fully on it but good luck in this contest and i hope you do well spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
-
Awesome style
This was a awesome poem. Abortion is a touchy subject but I as well am against it. You have a wonderful talent. Keep penning I see big things in your future.
Luke
-
My god...
I
Don't
Know
What
to
say!
this
is
so
sad
but
so
beautiful
i
absolutly
was
sucked
in
and
scared
out
of
my
mind!
this
was
wonderful
great
job!
-
Bloody Excellent Mate
wow!!!! this brought tears to my eyes. i totally agree with you i am not for abortion either, and i feel that your poems gives me more reasons why i am against this cruel crime. wow i hope you win the contest, let me know how it turns out. kid keep up the poems they're awesome!!!
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Actually at first I have to say I was absolutely terrified before I realized your point was about abortion which I figured out a few lines later. This is a very good piece and a very smart way of going about a poem. I like how you used lullabies not matter how creeped out I was by it. It effected me and that was what it was supposed to do, was it not? Your word choice is very good. Fantastic really - a lot of emotionally connotative words. Thank you actually writing at least 100 lines. I'm getting really tired of telling people that they have not. Thanks for entering and best wishes!
~Katrina
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Thank you, the 100 hundred line thing isn't so hard, I don't see why people conplain! i hve to admit, it made me laugh when you said it absolutly terrifed you at first, because thats what abortion is like to me.
Best of wishes judging! -
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Haha. I didn't think I was asking much with 100 lines and then people one right after another keep submitting pieces with like 40-50 lines. It's so frustrating!
Yeah at first I was didn't know where your poem was going and I was terrified actually. Lol. I have a little girl turning 2 tomorrow, so that was probably what made me a little creeped out. -
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Well thats cute, but most of my poems seem to creep people out anyway, even when I'm not heading in that direction, I guess it's just my word choice.
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