Come with me, I wait for you, please put your hand in mine
Then I will offer you a cup filled full with healing wine
We'll gently slide into the past and face it just we two
Then take it firmly in our hands and tear away the glue
Just see yourself, an open book, it's time to turn the page
You'll face another chapter and then rearrange your rage
We will take each awful moment and we'll read them one by one
But then we'll write another chapter called The Rising Sun
Now see the spider waiting there, she hides within her veil
She guards the cave of happiness where you and I set sail
So I will send a firefly to set her home alight
Then climb aboard this knowing ship and float with me tonight
We'll See the ghost of Christmas past, in mockery he stands
Just see the laughter in his eyes, the heat of his demands
Then I will send a icy blast to knock him off his throne
So now he stands eternally within a place of stone
Your heart awaits and beckons you within a sea of dreams
It's beating with a tune of hope, it showers you with beams
Of light and laughter once again as Christmas present waits
So I will send the keeper now to open up your gates
Author notes
Option 4 Picture 2 by Gwenevere
In a list
A contest entry
- Someone,Turn the Music Off!!!!!! by Celticmoon.
450 points, ended December 7, 2006, 3 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Wonderful meter!
Ros ~ I bow down in awe at your beautiful rhythm. Reading this poem was like a really smooth glass of wine...absolute bliss.
Typos or no, you have a wonderful feel for this type of poetry, and I for one truly appreciate it.
Thank you.
Lou x
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Delightful
Thank you for a wonderful read, this is a great romantic fantasy piece. Oh! If we could all just sail away to happiness and stay there forever. I like the title (and what you did to the Ghost of Christmas Past) and the first line is really a beautiful way to start off your work.
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Thankyou for your comments they are much appreciated, Ros
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It's perhaps not what you intended to hint at in this poem, but Christmas is the winter solstice, at times referred to as the birthday of satan, celebrated by ancient cults like Sol Invictus long before emperor Constantine declared it a Christian day of celebration. Constantine threw christians before the lions in the Colosseum in Rome until he decreed christianity to be the official religion of the Roman empire (which is quite remarkable to say the least). Santa is an anagram of satan, another little trick to confuse the masses. The lines picturing the spider hiding in her veil and the remark in the concluding sentence made me unsure as to what this poem was referring to. Also fireflies are often used as metaphors for ignis fatuus, lights that delude or mislead indicating illusion. In any event this poem presented a lot to ponder about. Thank you for creating and sharing. Take care,
RAge
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What Ghost is this?
Made me wonder what this Ghost was up too.I like line #7 line #20 confuses me.What Keeper? What Gates?It sounds to me like Christmas past, I wish i could see Christmas past.I'd like to have the feling of Christmas back.The past 2 years I have lost 2 very important People.My Dad and a very Dear Friend.I like the Title and the first line the last line as i said earlier confuses me.I don't think I'd change anything.
Nice Poem -
This is a good piece, very atmospheric and seasonally appropriate. Echoes of 'A christmas Carol'. Good rhythm and rhyme.
One or two typos already mentioned plus last line "sent' I think should be send. However overall a lovely piece. Thanks for sharing. -
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Thankyou for your comments.I have edited the typos.Thankyou for bringing them to my attention, Ros
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Wonderful writing
Love the flow of this wonderful piece of writing. It is just superb. Even the best writers make spelling errors. So, don't worry too much over the criticism. The meaning was not lost in this piece.
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Typo
Come with me, I wait for you, please put you hand in mine
This is as far as I got. You have a spelling error. You should polish them up before posting really.
please put you hand in mine - wrong
please put your hand in mine - correct
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Thankyou for your comments on my errors.I am glad you didn't read the rest of the poem because with your attitude I feel it would have been wasted on you.I can see that you are a person who probably looks for the bad instead of the good in everything and for that I feel sorry as you will miss a lot in your life.Good luck to you.By the way since the changes to this site, spell check is a nightmare.Not an excuse just a statement.I expect I got that wrong to.Oh well,it must be wonderful to be perfect, Ros
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truely so impressive work...
The poem here through the effect of ev ery indivivisual verse is bringing a kind of impact which is directly reaching to the heart of the reders. it overall was a good poem so great job.
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Many thanks for your appreciation, Ros
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