I see you with him day by day
My stomach muscles burn, decay
The truth must hurt is what they say
And I’m so sick of this cliché
Too many times I see you there
Wrapped in his arms without a care
I glance at you, I hardly dare
To hold you once within his glare
You say goodbye, it’s nothing new
Smirk on his face a different hue
From what it was before I knew
The monster that you hold onto
Doubt has plagued me from the start
Yet one quick word and I’d depart
Because I thought that you’d be smart
Enough to keep hold of your heart
I turn my back for but an instant
Spin back around to find you distant
A mess, and look, seems that I’ve missed it:
A poison arrow deep within it
I broke the weeds upon this lake
And, frantic, search for an escape
So you can follow, am I too late?
To save you from a dismal fate
You stare at me, what’s in your eyes?
A notion that was once disguised
Protesting me for all these “lies”
And all the thoughts I’ve stylized
He leads you on with burning wings
And whispers countless charming things
A sugar-coated, bitter sting
Hollowed gold within a ring
You’ve “loved” this stranger from the start
Said that you’ll never be apart
When much is blind inside your heart
And you know that you’re deaf, sweetheart
A contest entry
- Hit me with your best shot by De-Throned.
450 points, ended February 20, 2008, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Doubt has plagued me from the start
Yet one quick word and I’d depart
Because I thought that you’d be smart
Enough to keep hold of your heart
that was my favorite part. This poem has so much emotion and feeling. Good luck in this contest.
De-Throned -
oh wow. I love this one too! And you love atreyu! ARE we like related or somethin? lol
Tythan -
Hmm...I wonder what this is about??? I'm guessing Michelle and Perento. Yeah, my thoughts exactly...but my weren't as pretty and rhymey as this. lol.
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Yeah, you guessed right, it is about them. I had more written, but when I went back and looked it kinda veered off topic. ahh well. OH and thank you fr the comment!!
<33333
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wow, this is really sad...i feel so bad about this. don't you think it would be easier in life if you were blind to the truth, so you wouldn't have to suffer so because you see the things that others refuse to see? nothing is there for you to do...everyone has to be able to make their own mistakes, you can only wait for them to realize what has happened, and then be there for them when the pieces fall apart...sometimes the pieces fall apart and you can't even help then no matter how much you want to and need to. it is a fact of life that all must learn...
even when we try...
sometimes you can not fix the broken.
much love dear one
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I know. It saddens me so much. DO you get what this is about? If you do idk just ask and I'll try to give details if you even want to know. BUT thank you so much for your comment, I love you!!! <333
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ya my thoughts were them too. love you
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Iusuallydetestforcedrhyme...
...yet, for the sake of "sick of this cliche'', I'll have to make a one of none excepted. I might even go further to point out that this almost becomes a forced style that any and all reader's, no matter how much they say they detest such rhymics...
will have to admit this is an exception based on the truth that the words in some of these lines give credence, and actually seem to mask any forcement within that line and sometimes causing the reader to forget that that is what she or he may be reading!! Again!! Remarkable to me. That every two lines fit, match and compliment eachother so well. I think this is where you found this magic!!
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thank you so much for your comment!!! I"m glad you liked it, even with its forced rhyme. idk, i think i'm better at freeverse.
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Great rhythm throughout this piece - it just flowed wonderfully right from start to finish. The rhyming seemed to come so easily...I'm impressed! There are plenty of great lines in this poem. I'd write them out for you, if there weren't so many.
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