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Sanctum Inspired by "The Human Condition" Rene Magritte1935

Missing image

 

 

 

The Human Condition. 

Held fast by the passion of drive,

tormented with visuals moving at

the speed of light;

Easing the easel into the eye of the storming

emotions...to face the consequences of rejection,

dejection;

Face value, is just that...nothing more,

nothing less, impregnated with innocence

spiraling out of control, held close

with haunted thoughts of more;

Forbidden talents that scream to the four winds of chance,

a choreography in slow motion...held fast,

by the ball of despair in the heart of hope;

Paint me this vision with a hand of freedom,

with strokes of rapid abandonment, garnish all

with self induced satire, then add the wildness that

only talent brings to the fore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • sandgoddess
    January 15, 2007
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    2nd note to contestants

    Well, I'm back. Sorry for the delay and thank you for your patience. I will conclude all comments and the final judging within a week at the latest.

    thank you ,
    rachel


  • DeepxSpirit
    December 21, 2006

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    Very well written.

    I enjoyed this piece very much. The word choice and usage was superb. The way you described the painting in the poem it was like I envisioned everything perfectly taking place. The painting itself and the poem are contradicting as above mentioned but then again there is always a calm before the storm whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally.


  • sandgoddess
    December 19, 2006
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    a note...

    A note to all contestants
    Due to the sudden death of my beloved Panda, my feline friend and companion for 17 years, I am in poor shape at the moment. I will resume the judging of this contest as soon as I can. My apologies to all and thanks for your patience.

    rachel


    • cutiepie gold member
      December 20, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      I was so sorry to hear of your loss, my heart goes out to you as I had to have one of my "Golden Oldies" put to sleep last week. She also was a good age, but she will be sadly missed.


  • Hatstand
    December 5, 2006

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    Love the idea of visuals moving at the speed of light, and of a ball of despair


  • sandgoddess
    December 5, 2006

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    Beautifully Associated

    This is quite a beautiful piece. I find here a mixture of opposites: delicacy and fragility versus passion and power.

    Seems to me you let the painting bring forth a line of associations, some of them so personal that they remain
    Undeciphered to the reader, (your title very befitting), but at the same time, very much in tune with what Surrealism is all about. Yet these associations took flight and wandered far away from the painting. Yes. You mention easel, and refer to painting and to the name of the painting, but the outcome shows a curious contradiction between the scenery depicted in the painting and the one you have created in the poem – one of motion, storm, wind, wildness.

    I love this –

    ‘a choreography in slow motion...held fast,
    by the ball of despair in the heart of hope’

    I have one suggestion: in the last 3 lines you use the word wild twice (wild/wildness) I think replacing ‘wild’ with another word would avoid the repetition and strengthen the poetic weight of ‘wildness’ in the next line. Just a thought, it’s up to you.

    Also, in the last third line you need to insert a space betwwen words ('abandonment,garnish' )

    In conclusion – I have enjoyed this piece, I can sense powerful emotions imbedded in a line of associative flow.

    Well-done and good luck!
    rachel


  • sandgoddess
    December 3, 2006

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    request

    Hi,

    I want to comment on your poem - could you please enlarge the size of the font? I find it a bit difficult to read.

    Thanks,
    rachel

    • cutiepie gold member
      December 3, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Font size has now been changed. My apologies

1 - 8 of 8