I was so innocent
I didn't even know what love really was
Yet, you sure did get me to believe in it
You were the first to ever hold me
And you told me everything was going to be ok,
When my parents were giving me a hard time
I didn't know what you were doing
I was so blinded by this "love"
Foolishly I said yes,
When you popped the question
And I wore that ring so proudly
Until I entered my own house
I should have know better
My mother soon found out about the ring
And that is when this love turned sour
I was forced to break up with you
It hurt so bad
And it didn't help that you got so mad
You wouldn't even look at me
I couldn't believe what was going on
You had told me you would love me forever
And that if anything ever happened due to my parents
You would wait until I was eighteen
Yet, you wouldn't even look at me
A few days went by and I cried and cried
People at school just stared as I walked by
I made it through an entire weekend
And was starting to feel a little better
That is until I found out you and her
You said you would wait
And you already had another
Now, I hate you
And I can't believe I fell into your trap
A trap, that I swear I will never fall into again
Though, I must thank you
For showing what I don't like in a guy
And showing me what true love truly isn't
Author notes
option number two
A contest entry
- For the Trophy-Less! by FallingTwilight.
600 points, ended December 2, 2006, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i just got over a relationship by shortnsweet039.
500 points, ended January 6, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Many Options... Prewrites allowed by gothprincess7.
500 points, ended August 27, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre Write Contest by SensualWhispers.
615 points, ended March 15, 2007, 100 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken Hearts! by emLeejo.
425 points, ended March 30, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite " SPECIAL" by wingsofgold25.
450 points, ended May 17, 2007, 123 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hurt. by Naridill.
550 points, ended August 16, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS(enter anything you like)PW allowed by ExpectingMommy18.
900 points, ended October 16, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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The poem seems slightly repetitive in places it should be. I know that you meant for 'You, wouldn't even look at me' to be in there twice. For example, you seem to use the word 'and' to start many of the lines. It can be a nice way to start but it blunts the edge your writing could have.
I must say that the second verse is my favorite. I love the way you phased the words and made everything flow. I wouldn't mind a few more adjectives, but all in all, it is a pretty good write. -
good job here. i hope this one person didn't ruin love for you. they obviously didn't love you. but now that you know what false love is, you can move on and eventually find true love. i wish you the best of luck in finding love and in the contest. great write.
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great
you did a wonderful job with this poem,this was exactly what i had wanted out of this contest,you gave alot of detail and i thank you for that...good luck in the contest and again thank you for sharing it!! -
pain and anger here about false love and lies told to all
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Beautifully sad yet powerfully leaning for self worth. A beautifully penned piece.
Thanks for entering.
Much luck.
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really great write...been there...done that...good luck in the contest!
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Realy sad but hopefully a lesson learned Good Luck in the Contest
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Ah, pain! After a certain amount of time has passed, it kind of feels good to know that you are through that and that now you are a stronger person. Maybe enough time hasn't passed yet, but it will. Cheers on this poem.
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that was deep. i like an older guy so i guess i'll be careful.
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Wonderful poem
But im sorry that this happened, but this was awesome, it was written so well, and such deep emotion, and feelings, and it was just amazing. im sorry about it though, i feel bad i hate when guys break our hearts, but ok enough with me rambling. Good Luck in the contest!
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Good
Very beautifully written. Strong harsh emotions and feelings excellent work. Thanks for entering the contest and the best of luck to you. Kassie -
sure is nothing worse than a stab in the back... i hope you find true happiness one day though... good luck in the contest
cheers
Jen -
It's sad that guys will do this, especially to someone young and fragile when it comes to love. Thank you for entering and good luck.
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Ouch, this one really stabs at the heart. I belive many can relate to this piece. Excellent work here. Very solid!
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Oh wow chick I am so sorry. I read this and started to cry. I am so sorry to hear all of this. It will get better... Good luck in the contest this is a diff winner in my eyes.
casey
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