You tell me you believe in angels,
That I've confirmed your faith
I even have a pair of wings,
Although my halo must wait
My darling, This can't really be true,
Honestly, I'm not good enough for you
You take me to another height
Where reality is put to rest,
And you are all these eyes can see
I thought I would never love,
Not after my bout with such evils before
But you decided to break down those walls of hate
I love the way you look at me,
those beautiful eyes brimming with love
I love the way you hold me
with such warmth and strength
You lift me up
above any heights I've ever been able to reach
And I thank God for giving such a miracle to me
because me and you... we got something great
And I never pan to let it escape
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
final line- should say PLAN not pan.
this kinda seems interrupted to me, with the beginning rhyming a lot and the end tapering off to half rhyme and no rhyme. i liked the poem and the idea but that stuff just affected the flow to me. also i recommend using variant words for love, such as adulation or devotion to break up the repeat of love. other than that great job. i hope you dont take my suggestions harshly. glad to see you writing again
-
-
I agree. could definitely use some editing. I'll remember that.. but until I've decided how to end the story.. I'll leave the poem. thanks and be good.
-
Adding your comment:
