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You Say

You say that I should be different,
Bowing down to others,
And surpressing my flame.

I say stand tall.
Be proud.
My achievements are my own.
You can't take those away.

Author notes

Just a little self-motivating piece.

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • DefunctPerfection
    February 29, 2008

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    Citadel of the Nonconformist

    I'm beginning to find that I rather enjoy your short works. You have so much to say and you do it so well in just a few lines. Particularly I again find myself drawn to your use of punctuation. The first few lines a long draw out sentence, spliced with commas to make three thoughts sort of mush together though you put emphasis on and draw attention to the third line with your use of the word "And", also to perhaps denote which of these thoughts is most important to you. The next four lines are short, concise, and bold, almost like literary punches to the metaphorical face, their purpose however more likely to be tall, thick walls hold you and others in, to be boldly stood upon in the face of oppression; though, I guess to your foils such walls would be punches to the face, in fact, in some cases they need to be.


  • CaliOkie silver member
    January 5, 2008

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    Good sentiment

    Far too often people in our lives want us to be what best suits their needs. Others may be uncomfortable with the thoughts or emotions we express. Here's what I tell people who can not accept me for who I am and are constantly wanting me to be someone else "take off and go find someone who is what you want!"

    BTW, I see by the dates you haven't been around for a while. Welcome back.

    CaliOkie


  • BellaD
    January 5, 2008
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    Lovely!

    A great poem of self-affirmation! Nice job.


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    November 9, 2007

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    Everyone needs to have a moment of self motivation otherwise we would be smothered by the toxic, draining people in our lives... this is a great piece, stand tall and be proud

    Karen


  • psannouncement
    July 1, 2007
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    Nor can any set of mind or aura of thought be distracted, if we believe in ourselves. We are who we are. Why should there not be pride, and stature in that?

    I love the train of thought process in this poem. It is fercely blunt. Wonder why people can't just let people be people. Humans are indeed funny little creatures. Good stuff!



  • Dragons Lady
    June 29, 2007
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    A wonderful statement. Be proud of who you are and don't let anyone tell you how to be or who to be. Take pride in the things that you have accomplished. Your accomplishments are your own. Be true to yourself. That is what this means to me. I like the simplicity with which you have stated this. Like saying "This is who I am, take it or leave it."

  • name the bought
    June 16, 2007
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    i think i understand


  • Gemini5510
    June 1, 2007

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    Babe you are a great person, you should always stand tall and be proud of who you are, hope you're well haven't heard from you in a while x louise x


  • penciledlives
    March 8, 2007

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    Excellent. It's so short but says so much of your personality! And I agree...you should never, in your words, supress your flame and bow down!


  • Jamaica
    January 23, 2007
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    Like ya swaga jack

    Impressve way 2 disply feelings so 2 say.


  • strutter828
    January 17, 2007
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    great

    short yet meaningfull, like the line supressing my flame,

  • Eusebius
    January 12, 2007
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    bravo!

    very short, however, very cogent! bravo!


  • munkiess
    January 11, 2007
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    knowing what you want and need is alot better than listening to what others tell you that you want and need. wonderful write.


  • PaperChainHearts
    January 6, 2007
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    Short but sweet. Well done briliant poem ,its awesome
    Katy
    x


  • Heart Sutra
    December 31, 2006

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    I like this idea of feeling strong about your personal achievements and having a solid sense of identity around who you are without giving into others opinions. Excellent.


  • MissStranger
    December 28, 2006

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    Hmmmmm.....

    I was impressed by the simetric structure of this poem in what concerns the idea you revealed.Putting opposite actions which seem to fight against eachother within 2 short stanzas was a very wise choice because you force the reader to stay focus. Yet I'm sure that the vocabulary is way much to simple for the effect initially expected.Sometimes simple words can say much more than sophisticated phrases but in this case it makes it sound very ordinary. Try to dig a little deeper in the meanings and challange the reader a bit with some methaphors! Keep up the good work!


  • panegyric ink
    December 17, 2006
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    Three Applauds for Outstanding Truth!!!


  • Akimbo
    December 5, 2006
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    Well said

    Good for you. We all must take inspiration from wherever we can find it and if that means cultivating it ourselves so be it. If only the critics were so unique.
    Thanks for the lift, Kj


  • samoa
    November 30, 2006

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    Hey gurrl. I'm glad to see you posting something new. This good for motivation. Thanks for posting it. I really hope that the two of us can become good friends.


  • troyias
    November 30, 2006
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    Wonderful

    Again such power isn such a short and lovely piece.

    Great write

    *Go with God*
    Valerie

1 - 20 of 20