As my horse galloped through the hazy fog,
increasingly we found ourselves lost in a wooded bog.
As we cautiously meandered onward, I twisted my head left and right.
I caught a dreadful auspice in my sight.
Overhead, I spotted in my eye a flock of blackbirds' flight.
As my horse trotted, it crunched against the ground's shriveled leaves.
I approached another dead end, and I wondered what sordid tales my misfortune would next weave.
Trees reached out and blocked my path with their branches throughout the night.
I unsheathed my sword from its scabbard and lashed at them with all my might.
With my handkerchief, I wiped my forehead soaked with sweat from the heat.
I looked around and saw a wolf lying dead in the acidic peat.
With no skeleton exposed, it was a perfectly preserved boneless sack of skin and meat.
It was the month of September, in the midst of fall.
I scanned the the horizon for a smoking chimney, something that would signify civilization's call.
Before I could continue my journey, unaware,
I toppled off my horse and found it dangling from a hunter's snare.
I continued along my path by foot.
Soon my boots became weighted with peat and soot.
If I had brought a map, maybe I'd have had better luck.
In the bog I died, face-down forever in the muck.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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An interesting story indeed. Some great imagery and detail. Decent job, best wishes
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this is a good piece of poetry, a richly descriptive poem. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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Good
A work of continuous ryhme,and suspense,exceptional work... The poem got weaker in the end when the ryhming stopped and the dismal circumstances of the rider got the reader feeling downcast..Travel the title seems a weak one for such an scary trip by horseback....Last line the rider realizes his mistake...It weakens near the end...It would be nice to have had suspense till the end



