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Spawned Starstruck

 

 

Decaying dreams lay across the threshold of reality

Vitality diminishes with the fall of each dehydrated petal

Fantasies fall victim to the starvation of imagination

Life goals implode beneath society's judgmental pressures

 

Symbolic gestures of transparent promises become evident

Delicate silken threads of a quilted soul slowly unravel

Passion's flame doused by rain-filled clouds of hopelessness

Skin deep beauty births a concaved perception of perfection

 

Dismantling actual truths and rebuilding idealistic illusions

Consumed paparazzi inflame idolization, corroding the psyche

Falsified ads scribbled in the subconscious with permanent ink

Vision impaired by the momentary makeup of Hollywood glamour

 

Starstruck obsessions spawn self destructive diseases;

and feelings of worthlessness quickly become the first

place prize in a race for non-existing utter perfection


Author notes

Shroom


Media influence on Youth

 

 

I don't write society pieces often, yet this one just seemed to spill forth.
I must contribute the inspiration for this piece to my Golden Child,
lavender shadows. We'd had a conversation just recently about an essay
she has to write for her English class and this write just so happens to be
the same topic as her essay. I guess you could say the conversation stuck
in my head and got me to thinking :)

Thank you my Golden Child!!!!

Love you hunny!

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Kevin Moderators member
    February 5, 2007

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    You've given this a lot of thought, and it shows. No extra words, and I love your presentation :) 'Vitality' felt like a weak word. "fell victim to" felt wordy for some reason. "Life goals" felt too abstract. What goals, from who? How are they crushed? A 'let's be realistic' school counselor?


  • Danna Hobart
    January 20, 2007

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    After going back, and reading again, I see that you do have subtle imagery throughout the poem, but this line is too vague to picture:

    Life goals implode beneath society's judgmental pressures

    Can you make the image more concrete?

    Symbolic gestures of transparent promises become evident

    Delicate silken threads of a quilted soul slowly unravel

    These two lines are filled with adjectives. An adjective's job is to tell, but a poet's job is to show. What do "symbolic gestures" look like?


  • Danna Hobart
    January 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting that in a poem about media influence on youth, you have no imagery. Imagery is the strongest tool tha the media has. It is also important in poetry because imagery pulls the reader into the poem, makes them a participant in it. Witout imagery, it is just words on a computer screen.


  • SurelyWritten
    December 22, 2006

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    I've read this before, but stumbled across it again through the allpoetry book contest. It effected me the same way once again.. I wish you the best, good luck in the contest.

    -shirley-

  • Cereus Opus
    December 1, 2006

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    5 outta 10

    lost in space shall never be the same, i feel this piece was too organized to express the chaos of a
    media gone berserk, the flow too tempered and elitist.
    style for this piece could have followed an open language-dada format to express the chaos better.
    the same expressive tone only further dulls this piece, which could have used a character to expend the ideals you wished to express, i saw no human visage to this piece, i am still lost in space. sorry i did not
    like this piece more, maybe a rewrite is in order.


  • Night Phoenix
    November 30, 2006

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    Total Score: 10/10

    Spelling and Grammar
    Great!
    SCORE: 2

    Word Choice
    I'm amazed....
    SCORE: 2

    Topic/Passion
    Media's effects on youth. Very well done.
    SCORE: 2

    Form
    Suitable.
    SCORE: 2

    Reading the Rules
    Aye.
    SCORE: 2


  • Providence
    November 29, 2006

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    Marvelous! For years I have worked with youth to recognize the life styles sold by the media. Many as young as 8 already believe in what they see on TV or hear in songs.

    Both the boys and the girls are vulnerable. They believe that they "deserve a break today" and that when its "Miller time" they must kick back and party!

    WOnderful commentary on the media.
    Thank you
    Marianne


  • lavender shadows
    November 29, 2006

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    First thought after reading this: I totally wish I could write a poem instead of an essay on this topic!

    This I totally love! And for beyond the subject... although I totally do love that my stressing provoked a societal poem out of you.

    (I was going to use "totally" again - but I think maybe I should find a synonym )

    Your wordings and phrasings are so interesting here; each line creates such a striking visual image of an element in today's society. I can't choose my favourite line/part - there are too many things I loved. Fantastic write, Mom!

  • SurelyWritten
    November 29, 2006

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    sigh--- Yes, as a youth I see this effect on my generation daily, and it hurts. I feel incredibly helpless about it all, there isn't much I have been able to do to help my 'starstruck' cliques, but it is comforting to know that other people have realized that too....

    eh, I'll stop rambling. I liked the shape and consistency of this poem, although I would play around with the line breaks and line transitions some so it doesn't come out choppy. (For those w/out strong vocabulary and reading skills) Course that's just me...

    I overall enjoyed this poem, (as I always enjoy yours), and I hope you do well in this contest!

    Best of luck and blessings fellow poet,
    Shirley


  • purple wings
    November 29, 2006
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    brilliant write.you took the words right out of my mouth.


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    November 29, 2006

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    AWESOME WRITE

    Sis this is incredible...it is amazing what kids percieve as a golden lifestyle and just what is hip and cool. I also have to say that I like the pic and little saying...reminds me of a Metallica song..good luck to you.


    Lil Bro


  • Heavenly Angel gold member
    November 29, 2006
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    Intensely powerful, Bel! Wow! So deep and your use of words! My gosh, girl, but you have talent! Always a pleasure to read your poetry!


  • November 29, 2006

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    First things first, I am typing this first line before I even read the poem, I like your s/n, I have an EXTREME interest in all things Celtic...and now, I start reading...

    wow, I was exprecting something totally different, and I hate to admit, but I can't find anything to critique... I enjoyed reading this, I had amazing visuals. As for your author note...Shroom? lol. I enjoy the shroomage.
    Great Write.


  • perfect relief
    November 29, 2006

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    Powerful

    Each line of the poem sheds a different light on how the media effects people. With each passing stanza it makes one realize that if they're not careful they could potentially be taken in by something that really isn't healthy...I'm so glad that I don't watch much tv or buy into all the media crap...


  • bottleddreamz
    November 29, 2006

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    {{Jeepers}}

    I was just about to write a poem exactly like this. "Social Tendencies" But this was simply brilliant! The metaphores and the way you slipped in little details of society was amazing. I'm simply blown away by the sheer perfectness of this poem. And on a side note, I am loving the picture.

    Wonderful, you have true talent, though, I'm sure you knew.

    Keep dreaming in ink and dont let the social delusions of our society poison your mind! Haha
    Jessica


  • pomegranate76
    November 29, 2006

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    I love : "fantasies fall victim to the starvation of imagination," "skin deep beauty births a concaved perception of perfection." really lovely. Nice job here


  • Blazing White Wolf
    November 29, 2006

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    well this is a nce use of language and turn of a phrase with good metaphors and a deep message well done My lioness
    Love,
    Master

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