Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Gorgeous Eyes Shine Suicide

Her eyes are blue like april rain.
Yet through the beauty, I see her pain.
She only laughs to hold back a cry.
She may be smiling but her eyes don't lie.
Her long-sleeved shirts help hide her cuts.
No one can know; no "if"s, "and"s, or "but"s.
She'll say she's fine; she'll cross her heart.
But on the inside she's dangerously falling apart.
She can cover her cuts but the thing she can't hide:
Her gorgeous eyes shine suicide.

A contest entry

I love feedback.. so.. gimme some =)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    July 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The flow and wording here is just amazing. The content is somewhat typical however it is presented in a unique way which is exactly what this contest holder likes
    Great job, thank you for the entry!

    Bandaid.


  • Lost Memory
    July 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    simply amazing, it makes me think of one of my friends, i wish that i didnt think of her when i read this, but thats just one more reason for me to just hold on to her and try to help her get through it all thank you.


  • LaLaLie
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is almost exactly how someone described me. I love it, I feel like its me you're describing. Believe me I wish it wasn't, but it's nice to know that someone gets it.


  • Truthful Princess
    December 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Flipping Breath Taking!

    OMG! I totally loved it! Especially the ending. you really have some true talent this piece was like omg!Line 6 was my favorite line because it really helped me relate to the poem! Great job! Keep it up!


  • XXBrunettexBarbieXX
    December 6, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    I loved this the end was so strong and the begining so bold, I think this was great and held such truth and beauty......I loved the blue like april rain simile and just loved it as a whole....keep writting you are very talented stay strong
    -Chrissy-


  • Mrs-Gollihue
    December 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    This poem was amazing. The rhyme scheme is great, the last 2 lines are my most favorite, although I really enjoyed the entire poem. You are a very good poet...and you need to keep up the amazing work. Keep writing and I'll keep reading. <3


  • Musicqueen1012
    December 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    damn

    it's awsome, one of the best sucidialy poems i read

  • Chrysta
    December 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    WOW... this may be short in length, but it is with out a doubt vivin and full of strength.. I love it.. the emothion is great... i really like the rhyme scheme and your choice of desreptive words great job, keep it up..


  • subliminal girl
    December 1, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the whole poem, but... the ending was my favorite... wow. I'm not so into rhyming poems, but this was great, very good job.


  • BeautifulDisaster9
    November 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Wow.

    I am absolutely speechless except to say...

    Wow...Well done.

    <3BeautifulDisaster9


  • Death of the Author
    November 29, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Lol you love feedback so :] sorry if this is a bit vague but I absolutely love this. It's a perfect length, got really good rhyme, the sbject is dark and it's just great, nice job :] x take care x

1 - 11 of 11