How can one continue loving a drunk
who makes their lives just like hell?
How can one continue living a lie
thinking they'll one day get well?
Why is it we stay with these sad ones
who can't see the err of their ways?
Why is it we put up with so much
some days is it us that are crazed?
We want them to quit, surely we do
it's not up to us, they're in control;
drinking their lives into the ground
taking us with them, body and soul.
We make excuses, cover their trails
enable the disease to progress;
let's halt it now, or forever stop
we've got to make it regress.
We can't stop you drinking, only you can
make it better for all those concerned;
quit while we're still a family,
before we all leave ' cause we're burned.
Love changes to pity, you're alone
we can't live with you any more;
for the sanity of all involved
we're kicking you out through the door.
Author notes
Option #4 Society
My entry for round four of the Poetic Challenge. This poem, Nicole Cudworth's Sober Up, http://allpoetry.com/poem/2257116 , upset me, as I have seen many families ruined because they cater to the family member that ruins all their lives. Love is not an exuse for enabling someone continue on through this viscious cycle of alcohol abuse. Intervention, confrontation and change need to be implemented, or let the alcoholic go.
A contest entry
- Emotional Poetry Give Me Your Best! by tawk.
630 points, ended March 1, 2007, 29 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Living a Lie by trace3grls.
475 points, ended August 14, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bored out of my mind!!!! by Kappa.
525 points, ended September 1, 2007, 25 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING YOU WANT! PRE-WRITES ALOUD! by Tasha-Linette.
450 points, ended October 18, 2007, 18 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - anything your heart desires, prewrites, new, everything! by pithyaplomb.
555 points, ended July 27, 46 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITTEN POEMS ONLY!! GIVE ME YOUR BEST! by xXxIceQueenxXx.
800 points, ended July 31, 70 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by Midnight-x-Rose.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2269 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I have lived with an alcoholic, and this fits perfectly into what it is all about. I feel that I have lived this poem from the beginning and sadly to the end. It is nice to see that I am not going mad and others around me feel the same way about their person.
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This is a compelling portrayal of the way those affected by a loved one's alcoholism feel. It was well written and captured the theme well. Congratulations on the tropies and thanks for entering.
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It's so sad to see this happen to people. You capture the essence of the loved one's involved so very well. And although it's sad, it's a marvelous write none the less.
Thank you for entering this into my contest! -
Wow, honestly I totally agree but it can be really hard to do this, though it is very essential before the entire family breaks up due to a single drunkard.
Wisely penned dear poet!
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This was a very nice poem
the title of this comment says it all -
very powerful. and i can personally relate...i think many can relate actually. its a popular problem. Good write
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the truth? this really hits home for me! I had an uncle who eventually died from this aweful disease of the mind and the soul. very real in the way you are able to sum up what everyone goes through, not just the drunk him or herself. probably the best write i have ever read on the subject. you are a finalist in the contest!
take care always and may God be with you.
~pithyAplomB. -
thats a very good poem with a very good poiint I used to date a drunk and I know how they are and how they can be!!!! it sucks!! nice!!
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Wow!!! Really sad and true! Reminds me of my biological father!
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Very very true indeed. Powerful, thought-provoking and true to life. The emotion behind the words really strike home.
Alcoholism is a sickness, like any other. But, it is down to the drinker to WANT to stop. It begins and ends with them... Very well-written indeed.
Dark
Love
Wayne Leon
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Beautiful write. Not much I can add to the hundreds who have already commented, so I'll just say that I like the rest of them throughly enjoyed the write, and the paradox that is leaving someone because you love them.
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OmG!!dIs BrOuGhT mE 2tEaRs!!
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wow that touched me
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thank you
thank you for those helping words. My mom is an alcoholic, but she doesnt think so. I will do everything i can to help her stop this abuse. beautiful piece.
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Thank you so much for sharing. My brother is an alcoholic and my family deals with this everyday. I loved this poem because i can totally relate ♥ -
it's good. i have a stepfather who drinks and mother who refuse to see any wrong in him. i can understand what youre saying . i like it. keep writing.
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good
i like this heartfelt poem
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A nice write about living with curse of alcoholism.
Had friends who suffered the malady. Always a timely topic. Happy trails neighbor -
Very well stated, Gran. It is a hard thing to battle, especially because love is so powerful. What I witnessed was the alcoholic had quit and was two days from celebrating his five-month birthday at AA. But, his family wouldn't believe it even though they weren't present in the home day in and day out and they forced a horrific intervention on a sober man. Sadly, anything can happen when people are involved but they won't admit that they made a mistake because there would be too much guilt in that as they caused him to lose his home business that he built from the ground up and everything. This can be a very strange and cruel world. Stranger than fiction. Anyhow, enjoyed your write and your comments. Have missed reading you and being enlightened by your wisdom. Love to you, Dear Friend!--Kel :
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Powerful and Painfully honest.
I was in love with an alcoholic for two years. Every angle from all ends was written to a tee. Beautiful flow and appreciated honesty. They burn all bridges and really force the rest of us to have to let them go. My Ex got lucky. He had noone left and it forced him to finally fight his own battle. He has been sober for a year now. Thanks for sharing. Brave!
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I don't know if this was reality inspired, but I can completely sympathize and I think you did an excellent job putting the emotions of the family and friend of a drunk into a poem.
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Wonderful, truthful piece. Great flow and rhythm. I completely agree, if you love someone with a problem like this, you need to intervene- show tough love. Otherwise it will consume all involved.
Again, fanstastic job on this poem.
A -
Again,this is the second poem I'm reading today
and it's simple as the first one except with maverick showmanship..
You make the questions look like anacoenosis
but you are actually debating with yourself with rhetorical questions
=)
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I like the questioning tone to it a very good message
Thank you and Good Luck
Cindy
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Brilliant!!
This is a great write, hopefully it will help to open some eyes. I to had to leave after thinking I could 'save them' not something that can be done unless it is what they want. Your poem portrays this beautifully. Very well penned, good luck -
Oh my God!!! Where has this poem all my life??? My real father WAS an alcoholic my whole life, he left his wife and 2 children behind all in pursuit of the bottle. I hardly ever saw him growing up and decided at 15 that I was done being an enabler (by that I mean waiting around for him to realize I was more important to him than that damn bottle, making excuses for him, etc...)and I shut the door on him. My brother decided to move closer to him to try and convert him and than eventually to take care of him as he died. I saw my father a couple of times between the age of 15 and 33. He had 2 grandchildren he never got to know.... But the day that call came in I took my 22 month old daughter and flew half way around the states just tell him good-bye and that I forgave him.. He died Oct.12, 2007 a very broken man.... and I cried for the first time in my life for him and what could have been... I hope he has found his peace in the arms of God. The destruction that drinking reeks upon a family is horrific and people need to start making a stand against loved ones and drinking. Thank you for writing such a wonderful poem on this ugly subject.
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So true, is this something that you went through? If not then its damn good anyways! Either way, i really like it! Im intrigued to find out whether its true or not though...
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Makes me cry
Thinking about my mother and all the drugs she has done this poem makes me cry and I have read it a few times now. I love this you are very gifted with words and I think that you deserve all the awards for this poem that you have received. A fanominal write I must say.
My fav lines were.
"We want them to quit, surely we do
it's not up to us, they're in control;
drinking their lives into the ground
taking us with them, body and soul."
And because my mother can't see the error of her ways she will be a statistic and die way before she should
~Kimber
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Yes why do we?
Love has a lot to do with it
I think.
Great Job!
Good Luck!^^ -
Very good write. Good luck in the contest!
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Great
Only people who live though this hell know what it's like. Both my parents were alcoholic and my two brothers and myself all suffered. Only my father late in life apologized for him behavior. Life was worse for my brothers since they were home all the time. I was taken away from them and put into a school for handicap children. I was home for the holidays and that was a nightmare.
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This is a poem that a lot of people can connect to on both sides of the equation. And it's very insightful because of that.
Keep up the great works! -
wow, deep, emotional, and sad. Well done. You really hit the nail on the head with this one.
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I love it!!! No wonder it so hight up on the popularity!
|DF|14| -
so true!
True enough Granny! I can relate to the poem of yours, because I happen to witness an alcoholic person and what he did to his family. The outcome is not very nice at all. Alcohol addiction causes so much suffering in marriage, not to mention the physical and emotional abuse this alcoholic’s do to their partner. It can ruin people and their marriage. Furthermore, a child of an alcoholic suffers emotional chaos, which they carry this emotional baggage throughout their childhood. Many people who were raised by an alcoholic parent can testify their nightmare that it brought to their family. Keep on writing good poems Granny! I do enjoy reading all of them. Thanks!
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http://allpoetry.com/poem/by/Mil would appreciate some advice, new to this and would love some feedback cheers :
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RIGHT ON!!
Once again your words ring true. Additions are the most painful thing for a person to live with and for their loved one's to go through. Favorite line: Love changes to pity,you're alone. Some of my experence and thoughts on drug's: TO LOVE A DRUG ADDICT and MY LETTER TO COCAINE. Thanks for your words.
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very Sad
It sad that there sre people out there who would wash away thier very souls, for the sake of worldly pleasures, very good write, it's not only deep in emotion, but has sincerity too.UNT
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Oh that you for this entry love the message I need to remind myself its not my pain that matters I've read this before so I don't think it's going to let me applaud but I'm going to try
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This was a brilliant poem I quite enjoyed it!
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omg this is great i was actually reading my life in your poem well done and thanxs....
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RAWR! you must know i love this one
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You so deserved the trophy! This was a sad but true poem.Some people don't want to change and can't be.All we can do is choose to stay in it and still make excuses or move on elsewhere.I enjoyed this so.Thank you for sharing.Congratulations by the way.Rhonda
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Wonderful
Great poem because everything written here is so true and honest, and also heartfelt. The last four lines are my favourite because this situation has happened in my family but nowadays people wont tolerate the drinking ruining a family, which i feel is good. I know how this feels and i can totally relate to this. But choosing between drink and family should be easy but for a drunkard it is indeed not. I am not a drunk so i find it hard to understand so would get angry with that problem, but i have to say that this was a wonderful poem. Well done and please keep on writing.
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Amazing, powerful, emotional, and just plain wow! Last line was the best, pure genius. Thank you so much for entering, and good luck to you.
Chelsea
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Sounds like you are an Alanon or ACA, you know what it takes to keep your own life in order when the other is out of control. Very well written from the other perspective of an Alcoholics life...Scott
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THis is awesome. You have said what so many of us felt Thank so very much for a great read and keep on writing
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I love alcohol. In moderation. Well, no, in moderate excess.
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An excellent portrayal of the relationship between the enabler and the alcoholic being enabled, where the addicted party keeps taking and taking, not altering their ways, and the enabler continues giving, bleeding their lifeblood, more and more, both of body and soul. This write is incredible. “it's not up to us, they're in control;
drinking their lives into the ground
taking us with them, body and soul.” One cannot force another to change, the addicted party plagued with the devastating disease of alcoholism must consciously decide to change and seek aid to do so, on one’s own, and this poem portrays the painful message that the enabler must learn to let go and let the user hit rock bottom, on their own. It is a powerful write, really wrenching the soul, invoking so many sympathies as well as resentments from within the reader, this poem awakens so much reality that is very difficult to look at through the eyes of the one who loves the drunk, the enabler. A fantastic, captivating write! Well done!!!!!
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Hmm, I agree with you only sometimes it is hard to stop these people going that wrong way, they just wont listen. I hope some of them read this poem and get some sense into thier heads.
Very nice flow and anger. That was a nice piece.
. Rewarded 4
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*crys* i can relate to this one...my father is just like this poem pretty much he would come home almost everyday drunk and one nite he beat up my mom it hurt me and my bro and sis cuz we cant hardely see him but we have to live life like usual. Did an excellent job keep up the good work
stevie
. Rewarded 6
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this poem is very popular. nice job!
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This is so true. My first husband was an alcoholic, it eventually ruined our marriage, our family solidity. I finally divorced him after he destroyed my love for him and was headed to destroying our family as well.
Your poem touches on the sad aspects of loving an alcoholic. Very good and right on.
Dee
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wow.
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Very good.
I have a personal connection to this poem, since I have recently made exceptional headway in getting over my drinking problem.
Very good write. You're very talented. -
i absolutely love this poem. it shows very well the pain that another's addiction can put people through. i liked the flowed it had, it kept me going.
. Rewarded 4
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Such a powerful poem. It seems such a simple style and form but it brings the reader into it, making all of those emotions arise again. For anyone who has had this in their life, it definitely personifies it. Good write.
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This is an absolutely fantastic write. I've known alcoholics and seen the effects that their behavior has on their family. And while that person is to blame for their actions, those who enable them also share a role. I loved the lines:
"We make excuses, cover their trails
enable the disease to progress;
let's halt it now, or forever stop
we've got to make it regress."
Until someone stops enabling another person, what's the point in changing? No one is putting an end to it, so things stay the same. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result each time. Your poem encompassed that so well: A cry to make an active choice to get that person to change or to leave until one is fully healthy again. I would give you applause if I had any. BRAVO!!! -
so real
an intense poem that is tremendously real...i can relate to it because 'til recently i lived with an alcoholic and it's very very scary and difficut, you can't make a choice for them and you're forced to let go but even that hurts because it's your family and that breaks your heart....very very touching -
this poem starts off with truth and no one has to put up with anything they choose to...and if someone chooses to drink only you choose if they take you down too...i love this poem its is wonderful and full of truth!!! good luck in the poetic challenge and congrats on being in round four!!!! great work
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I too know this...........................
pain, I have an uncle and a brother who have substance and drinking problems and both were absolutely beautiful men with alot going for them and It is so sad to watch year after year as ther deteriorate right before your eyes and the very life is draining out of them and their family members as well. But especially their children whom the have missed so much of their childhood because of being under the influence!!!!Too sad buit as you state only they have the power to change and they have to want to change!!!Thanks for sharing!!!~~Toni~~
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There is, in my opinion at least, a significant difference between a drunkard and a drinker, and of course there's all the other terms too: drunk, boozer, tippler etc. The silly one is "alcoholic" as it implies you can't help it, that it's a disease. Being an "alcoholic" means you didn't choose to be drunk all the time. One does. I should know.
Why do people stay with a permanently drunken partner? God knows. They think perhaps they'll be able to stop them. Forget it. Go out and get a life. -
powerful
What a powerful piece of work. I can tell it came from your heart. -
This is very well written and lays out the devastation alcohol can put on a family. However it is not so easy to tell anyone when they need to walk away. My grandfather lay on his deathbed (cancer) asking for whiskey, and I dearly loved him and would never have cut him away, even though my grandmother did have to walk after 20 years of marriage. It's very tough, and what is right for one may not be right for another. Excellent write though, you got your message out perfectly.
take care
whisper
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I like the presentation, all one stanza.
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PERFECT
Yes this is great. its added now
HUGS -
A sad but very common tale
You have a bit too much for a page in the book but if you could maybe reduce it by even 2 lines it would fit better. Let me know.
This is a problem I have faced but he was never kicked out. He eventually made the situation so bad it killed my Mother.
Hugs
Jan -
i've seen both sides of this. my moter and step father were drunks(they say they stopped drinking, but i don't believe them and i can't see them until i'm 18) and i have also been the one to ruin other people's lives with my drinking, but i am getting better about it. i now drink maybe once or twice a month and that's really good for me. alcohol does ruin people, but it's hard to change the way.
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Have been thre myself. My ex husband was an alcoholic and drug addict so I can really relate to this piece and the fact that it is exactly how I felt through those years. The images you have created are very, very accurate and I did stay with him in the hope that one day he would get sober, clean and be the husband I thought I deserved. Only he didn't. Well done on a vivid, well described scenario.
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this is a strong piece that makes my heart sink. i have had first hand experience of drink and the problems it hails withing families, and even branching further and further out.
a disease that needs eradicated,
words that need to be read and re read,
over and over again.
thank you for sharing.
. Rewarded 6
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I bet everyone can relate to this piece because alcohol affects so many families. Family trees are scarred by the tragedy of such a disease. One of the saddest things is that it is a disease we bring on ourselves, self inflicted, if you will-yet it affects everything it touches and destroys everything that was once good in so many instances. I can definitely relate to this alright-well done.
. Rewarded 8
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All I can say I it's amazing. You have a talent..It really makes you think and i've never been around drunks and I feel for how someone inlove with a drunk would fell. It's an AMAZING poem
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they say some people drink to escape reality...its a cop out, when one gets sober the problem, insecurity, and particularly the headache remains..although you're right, only the drunk can cure himself--with determination! i kinda imagined what you wrote about, yeah, imagined, cuz no drinkers in my clan...nice write....
. Rewarded 6
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this is very powerful. weve had bouts of alcoholism in ym family and its very scary. its hard to love the person and hate the problem. i admire the truth and passion you put into this.
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This is a truly incredible poem. You have captured exactly what it is like to love someone who is harming themselves and the ones they love the most. If only it were possible to make them see the disaster they're pursuing with words. I have tried and tried, and I was the one who got left. I feel like the bottle won. And I still can't stop caring and worrying. Oh, you've just really hit a nerve with this one! Congratulations on an excellent poem, and a VERY well deserved Honourable Mention!
. Rewarded 8
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really touching
wow this really touched me. after my parents got divorced a few months ago my mom has started drinking and it has been getting bad. your use of words and descriptions can really reach out to people in this situation in my opinion. keep up the good luck and remember you and your family are in my prayers. no one deserves to be in tht situation. peace&&love [morgan]
. Rewarded 6
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