You are still the only one
Who studies my worn path
My open doors
The holes in my walls
You are the only one
Who can dilute my mortar
The only one who can keep me from rebuilding
I am conquered
Author notes
This was written for my David R.I.P. *I miss you*
A contest entry
- ANYTHING SHORT by Blooming Poet.
400 points, ended March 7, 2008, 105 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Mania by Celticmoon.
450 points, ended March 30, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Missing by Cherokee.
300 points, ended August 10, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Where is the gold?
If this write doesnt recieve a trophie,
there'e something wrong
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Even without the comma, the conveyance of what you are speaking from your heart really pulls through. Keep penning
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I little cliche, but I still like it. Veyr powerful message amdokay use of the words. Thanks for entering my contest/
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Strong words...A smaller amount but still they pack the nessicary punch.
Cin
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You are still the only one
Who studies my worn path
My open doors
The holes in my walls
You are the only one
Who can dilute my mortar
The only one who can keep me from rebuilding
I am conquered
this is a great short poem
love it -
this was a beautiful piece
i enjoyed it
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I love reading short, meaningful poems and this is one of them. Beautifully written, very emotional and incredibly touching. Nice work!
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wow
I loved it. It was short, and each word was chosen carefully. it uses a simple but touching extended metaphor.
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I really like short poems that speak lyrics and epics to me.. Something I myself am not capible of as I tend to write sonnets of pages in my own personal work.. Great job with this and keep up the great work..
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So short yet so beautiful. I like the way the poem seems to flow, then ends in a completely surprisign way.
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This doesnt quite make sense to me, maybe its just me but i find the end perhaps a bit contradictory? maybe thats done for effect or maybe im readin it wrong?
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thank you for your comment
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well done
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Strong.
I thought at first when I saw this poem that this wouldn't be long enough to express whatever you were trying to say, but I was very wrong. I loved the strength of this peom and I enjoyed reading it.
I am sorry for your loss and I commend you for making something beautiful out of it.
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This is decent but I think it could - and should - have been longer. the climax wasn't set up quite enough in my opinion. It was almost as if you sprung it on the audience, you see? But all in all okay. - oce
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Thank you for your input
Sometimes you can say it in merely one word - Conquered.
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i love the way you ezplain where the title came from. you have to becaeful becuase being conquered is not always a good thing! i cant wait to read more of your work!
YL
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you definitely deserve an applause!
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This was a very powerful poem. Although it was short much was said! A very emotional poem which shows that a great love has been lost. Both tragic and romantic at the same time. Brilliantly written.
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amazing
wow, this person dominates you, i like the wording. This person knows your weaknesses welll. they can break you down. your self esteem suffers as a result. great job,and please write more.
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you are too kind
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Ouch.. who are you?
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