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Soldier On

Angeline stood the gill glasses in a row;
solid crystal-soldiers lined up
for the bombadier moment.
6 Rusty Nails for the boys
home from Iraq; the zest in their eyes
had been sucked dry-
deserted and gritty;
salted their breath, still.



For once; even the drunken masses
sat quiet, mumbled amen's

lost in frail hands-
toasted those
they'd left behind.
Whiskey soured and saluted;
saturated
veins, ateries-
the blood-red orange hue
clouded the glass.





 

Author notes

a mish-mash of old memories on a new time & place...

some useless information for those who like useless info:-

gill measure = 5 fluid ounces

The gill is sometimes spelled jill. It appears in the nursery rhyme:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

When Charles I scaled down the "jack" (a two-ounce measure) so as to collect higher sales taxes, the jill, by definition twice the size of the jack, was automatically reduced also and "came tumbling after."

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • pine-needles
    December 18, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    blown away

    woke up in the middle of the night thinking about this poem. there are many incredible lines in this.

    "solid crystal-soldiers"- and the smooth transition from crystal to flesh-and-blood

    "the zest in their eyes
    had been sucked dry-
    deserted and gritty;
    salted their breath, still"
    perfect description.
    (though "had been" always seems a bit awkward to me here, feel it would be stronger as just "sucked dry")

    ""mumbled amen's
    lost in frail hands-"

    "the blood-red orange hue"-
    this also throws me off... when i first read this i thought it was "blood-orange" which i thought was so clever because it connected back to the "zest" in their eyes and also the "blood" of war. but how can it be both blood-red and orange?

    still, this is a wonderful tribute to soldiers everywhere... all the more beautiful for its unflinching grit and restraint.


  • cvillelisa
    December 4, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Oh. Congrats.....

    Good poem.


  • TallDrinkofWater
    December 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    A winner

    Very good, I love soldier tributes, This was interesting and held me ,
    6 Rusty Nails for the boys
    home from Iraq; the zest in their eyes
    had been sucked dry-
    deserted and gritty;
    salted their breath, still.


    I know that feeling WRite on Poet


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    December 3, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    this is wonderful Gill, the whiskey soured is a great line especially for the contest, best of luck...

    did i get to a hundred characters yet, gots to get me them points

    (I'm sticking to the one applause per poem because I don't want to make any more decisions than I have to... let me just say i think the poem is great)


    • NurseChilly gold member
      December 3, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      thank you Al.. really appreciate your hundred characters or not.... heheheheh lololol

      that made me giggle


  • Cat gold member
    December 3, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    gill (don't tell anyone i know its you)

    definitely a fine read- subtle reflection- subtle use of the chosen subject
    " Iraq; the zest in their eyes
    had been sucked dry-
    deserted and gritty;
    salted their breath, still."
    The finest bit right here- nicely done Gillian- nicely done.

    m


  • Heart Sutra
    December 2, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    The Little Book of Blood Orange

    This is one of your finest Gill. I truly appreciated the depth of description in just a few stanzas. Every line has an impact and is full on of all the sensory perceptions. Bravo!


  • Abscessed
    December 1, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    this was just gorgeous Gill -
    "the blood-red orange hue
    clouded the glass."

    a winner

    Abscessed


  • Nicolette gold member
    December 1, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    A very moving poem, Gill and I just loved the image of Angeline lining up the glasses like soldiers. The images and emotions you evoke with your words are something to behold and transported me to that bar; it almost felt like I was there...feeling and seeing the quiet contemplations... Amen to this - wonderful poetry.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Wandika gold member
    November 30, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting. Another page in an already enchanting and descriptive book.

    I understand the feel of the returning soldier Gil.


  • Jersene gold member
    November 30, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent! A very moving piece...and the info. about the jack and jill - never knew that, hmmm...learn something new every day


  • -ButterflyCuts-
    November 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    oh- I thought gill was because of your name

    And yea- that is the only thing i can think of to say-- pathetic isn't it!

    Loved this.
    jess


  • star lunatic
    November 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful!!! It evokes a lot of emotion from a reader. Your author's notes was great too. These lines were really good too:
    For once; even the drunken masses
    sat quiet,

    Great work girl!!



    ~~~Tal~~~


  • Annalise
    November 29, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    I never knew... jack and jill, huh? That's a nice little tibit of information.

    and this is one hell of a poem.

  • cvillelisa
    November 29, 2006

    Edit | Reply


    I read this this morning -- subjects like this can easily slip into overdone melodrama -- and lose the ability to evoke

    you have done a really fine job NOT doing that here. Something about this piece really works for me. I was really moved when I read it this morning -- too much so to make a comment.

    Good poem, Nurse. Good poem.

    Lisa


  • Tam
    November 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    YOU CAN WRITE GIRL!

    I'm serious...you can write.
    And I for one loved your Author Notes!! But, I do enjoy reading Author notes when they contain valid information as in this case...
    I am always impressed with your pen, Lady. Very well done.
    Blessings! Tammy


  • voices
    November 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I just came to give clappy things.

  • Nicole Hanna
    November 29, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    I tried commenting on this when I ran across it in the reward section earlier, but the site was wigging out and none of my darn comments were taking. lol. So anyway...

    I love how you mentioned Angeline only once in the poem, and allowed the story to tell itself instead. That way, I was easily able to submerge myself into the piece and see myself in the setting you described. Very elegant and nicely done


  • The Bear
    November 29, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    The soldiers put things in perspective. People who think they are tough stop think for a minute don;t they, when the soldiers back from tour come for a drink. I like this one very much Gill.


  • misselaineous
    November 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    where does a gilly fit then ? lol1
    ~ a bucket of bombay wouldn't go amiss right now
    i loved the story and the skill with which you told it
    elaine

  • Justice06
    November 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Heres you applause

  • Justice06
    November 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I like the detail agout it and how you explain wats happening and wats taking place in that very moment. I like it and i encourage you to write more poems i think this is a great poem and could help people in a way. Good Jo

  • Justice06
    November 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I think its very different keep up the good work.
    Smiley Face"


  • W B Burkholder
    November 29, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    I too am reminded of the nights at the club with my mates, talking and Drinking, of the days surf rescues etc. Ands sometimes of the losses as well. thanks for sparking the memories good write

  • Suzanne Dia
    November 29, 2006

    Edit | Reply


    This reminds me of nights in New Hampshire drinking at the bar, and loving every minute of life that I was given to live there. They were beautiful even in the midst of the soldiers lined up on the wall. I consider myself lucky to look on the alcohol soaked tragedy of it all with happy memories, and I do realize this is little to do with this poem, but it is where it took me.

    I like Angeline remembering the soldiers, and I like this moment remembering them myself.



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