The sink was dripping again,
each drop of water was
a nail in my coffin,
dooming me,
lowering me farther into this
grave that my life has become,
the pain of each blow,
echoed by the
sound of those
drops.
There is no way out
the trap is completed,
I was the only one who didn't
see it, who refused to see,
who was unwilling,
who thought,
"If only I had....."
Each drop no longer water,
a pearl of crimson staining
the floor as the
pain recedes
the skeletal fingers of death
slowly close about my heart as
the pearls of crimson become
red roses
blossoming on the floor.
Author notes
My daughter (Tamaska Forsaken) and I took the same phrase:
The sink was dripping again,
each drop of water was
a nail in my coffin,
dooming me,
and each of us created a poem on the stanza. Her's is titled "A Nail In My Coffin." This is mine.
In a list
- A Walk on the Dark Side • next in list
- Society (my thoughts on where we are and where we are headed) • next in list
- Silver • next in list
A contest entry
- Dark, Dark, and more and more Dark by Eternal Rose.
400 points, ended March 18, 2007, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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that's a great poem. kinda depressing, but still very well written.
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Wow! This is great!
It's dark, deep, and written very well. I've read so many poorly written poems lately, finally I've come across a good one! -
Oh my goodness...
Amazing. The words flew off the page with dread and anguish. Excellent job on this poem. I like how you used this quote to make such a great poem. One thing I'd like to ask though; in this stanza
(the skeletal fingers of death
slowly close about my heart as
the pearls of become)... Should there be another word in the last sentence.. The pearls of () become? Just wondering. Thanks for sharing your poem. -
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Merry meet Irish,
Thank you for reading my poem. I reread my poem and your right, I did leave out a word. I left out "crimson" in that stanza. Thank you for catching that for me..
Amythest
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Very good.
this was a real dark and sad write you did a real good job with it.
Thank you for your entry and Good Luck in the contest -
< Merry meet,
Thank lyou for your wonderful comments. I am honored to be placed on your favorites list. I hope that I will not dissapoint in the future.
Amythest -
That is really nice and dark Amythest. I love it.
It is very nicely written. The emotions, words, the imagination. I really liked this.
I'll check out your daughter's as well.
Keep on writing and good luck in the contest.
Nooni
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Thank you
Merry meet Nooni,
Thank you for your applause and for your well wishes in the contest. I'm glad that you enjoyed this poem. Tamaska's poem is entitled "A Nail in My Coffin". Thank lyou again for your words of encouragement.
Amythest
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