The Mirror Within
Within your restless soul
lies your truth.
Hidden from your masquerade
like some sick and twisted
marinated disease,
left in your proverbial mind.
Fragmented visions of your
twilight travels dancing vicariously
in your head.
Blackened scars of sulfate
etched into your flesh.
The desensitization of all
your influential beliefs
seem to have colorized your
own demise.
A blatant distraction to
your infrared empathy.
Suffocated by dreams of
a helium induced nightmare.
The jaded memories
leaving unbalanced thoughts,
as you stand alone
hanging by ragged threads.
Your sheltered existance
leaves you chlostrophobic
inside boxed nightmares.
Your tired and diminished
soul,
branded...
Labled thoughtless and cruel.
Lost in the mirror,
your reflective spirits
have finally abandoned you.
Hardened by the infestation
seduced by your own horror.
Unable to fathom the situation,
rendering you into silence.
Labled as a talisman of old.
Your psychotic nature, tormenting,
you into a traumatized reality.
Forcing it's sickness into your bloodstream
with an organic rage of internal vibrations.
Caught up in yourself
as a perfectionist at work,
there's no way to understand
your own estimations.
Laying in disturbed sleep,
awakening to your midnight prowl,
until you find yourself
making your decree face down
into the cracked porcelain.
Karma....?
If there be any self loathing,
wallowing in your karmic destiny.
Until you find yourself
unable to break free
from your invisible fantasies.
Author notes
Inspired by the pic in the contest
http://allpoetry.com/poem/add?contest=2333689
Genre....dark
used word bank 1
Masquerade
influential beliefs
marinated disease
sulfate
desensitization
fragmented visions
colorized
infrared empathy
helium
twilight travels
And also used word bank 3.
situation
reflective spirits
ragged threads
jaded memories
infestation
talisman
boxed nightmares
branded
diminished
sheltered existence
And word bank 4.
traumatized reality
midnight prowl
invisible fantasies
internal vibrations
perfectionist
organic rage
estimations
cracked porcelain
karmic destiny
decree
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Superbly written!
I love this piece. Lovely use of the wordbank words/phrases! And excellent word usage even beyond those. This piece has a nice flow as well.
One thing that really stood out to me was how this piece was dark, but also 'delicately' written. I don't know if that makes any sense, but that's the only way I can think of to describe it. And yet, it's very intense as well. Great job establishing that balance--I very rarely see it. It's very easy to 'overdo' dark poetry--you did a wonderful job making it just right!
I loved your imagery and metaphors/similes.
"chlostrophobic" is spelled wrong (I'm not sure which line.) I'm fairly sure you meant "claustrophobic", the correct spelling.
"Forcing it's sickness into your bloodstream" First of all, let me apologize for my grammar/spelling comments. I'm one of those people with weird pet peeves. However...
Can you please change "it's" to "its"? "Its" is the possessive form. "It's" is the contraction of "It is."
My only corrections/suggestions, though...other than that, I wouldn't change a thing. It's perfect just as it is!
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wow. amazing
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i agree with what everyone has expressed so far about your excellent usage of the words from the word bank. I have never attempted this sort of poem but hope that if I did it would turn out as well as yours has. Thank you for sharing...peace...
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Perfect
Wow, yet another great write my old friend. You have alot of writing skill and i'm very glad you found it.
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This was really good, WOW........ a great dark write and well done with the usage of the wordbank.
I love you.
Elizabeth
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this kicks ass, man really i mean this was like wow, i loved it the flow was great that words strong and deep, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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excellent
the wording is excellent the way you put it togather is awesome.you did a great job.very intense yet a easy read.
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Brilliant
This stanza, was something I had gone through right after the birth of my son...for five years...Its a miracle I survived. He was the strength that pulled me through. But what you described below is verbatim what I felt. This poem is so important;its DARK, but important! Keep up the great work!!!
"Your psychotic nature, tormenting,
you into a traumatized reality.
Forcing it's sickness into your bloodstream
with an organic rage of internal vibrations.
Caught up in yourself
as a perfectionist at work,
there's no way to understand
your own estimations.
Laying in disturbed sleep,
awakening to your midnight prowl,
until you find yourself
making your decree face down
into the cracked porcelain.
Karma....?
If there be any self loathing,
wallowing in your karmic destiny.
Until you find yourself
unable to break free
from your invisible fantasies."
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Oh my Brother K! you sure did accomplish the challenge of using them all and in a dark piece though might be an easier one to use hmmmm either way this is powerpack and so very well done congrats!
Love and light,
Brother Blaze
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deep
VERY Intense and Deep. The flow is incredible. I must say this is one of my favorites I've read from you lately 
The best of luck to you in the contest!
Kari
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thank yo Kari....your comment means alot to me...
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I love this Ktulu. Your words really speak to me, this is how I feel right now, like I'm living in darkness trying to find the light. Great write! Good luck in the contest!
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thank you very much Devilish for your comment, I always appreciate it
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anytime
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wow ,,
this is a great word bank,, I love these,, well doneon this ,, lots of good words and you used them very well..
good luck to you in the contest...
Krystal
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thanks for your comment Krystal I appreciate it very much.
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WOW!!!!!!!
The strong and powerful feelings that this stirs.
Roses to you
Teresa
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thank you Crazy Ol Coot for commenting on this....glad you enjoyed it
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wow
Sweetie, I think you've outdone yourself in this piece! You did so very well! Your talent just shines, my friend! Awesome way to meet the challenge! -
Terrific write there kiddo. You really make a Mom proud. You have done well with the wordbank. Your phrasing is remarkable. Great job kiddo.
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thank you
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outstanding write
This was intense and very well written. The way you added each phrase to the work, was outstanding...awesome work...smile, Dave
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