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TIME vs. LOVE

Time is very precious and it is slipping away
As for love it is a guidance of the steps I take only one way
I want you here by my side if this is not the first thing I ask for it is the only thing I ask of you.
Baby every now and then that I go to sleep
I could not stop dreaming about you and the thoughts so deep.
Your love has made my go weak
And I sit here starring at the mirror as I watch my eyes start to leak.
Every day that goes by I really want you
I wish I can tell you that I want you
If I could have another chance to talk to you
And if I could have another chance to walk with you
Then I wouldn't keep it inside anymore. I would say Baby I love you I really really do.
I want you back in my life so we can be together once more.
I am tired of dealing with all my soar.
Days turn into months, months turn into years
My body shivers and it is filled with so much fears.
5 years have past since you left, and OMG is that you back here besides me?
How could this be?
You didn't let me finish my thoughts
You just shhhhhshed me  and said just remember the nightspots.

"Baby in my dream love
I found your heart.
I came back because I remembered your song
And I'm so sorry for leaving you so long.
I love you and loved you from the start
And now I see what I didn't see before, and didnt think twice that we would break apart.
Baby you touched my life and I know I touched yours
But I did the biggest mistake of my life, walking out those open doors.
Baby if there is one thing that can be changed
It will be me wanting you back in my life and get engaged.
There is one and only one reason why I left
It isn't because I didn't love you
But because of time and left without a clue.
Time was haunting and torturing me
I thought we wouldn't last long and i didn't see.
I left for the good for both of us.
But now I have triumph over time
And now I am back asking you once more to be mine.
Now you know why I left like a stupid theft.
Baby my love for you is undescribed
And without you I could not collide.
I love you now and I will love you for eternity
I love you now and forever more."

As I look in his eyes I see emotions and tears falling like a waterfall
I say no more.
I go near him and kiss his lips and feel the sweet embrace.
And say "Baby I love you too"

Author notes

THIS POEM IS ABOUT THE TITLE OF MY FIRST CONCERT THAT I STARTED. I HAD TO WRITE ONE SO HOPE U LIKE IT.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Max Ritvo
    April 5, 2007
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    Interesting how you've taken the two most common poetical concepts (and the sole preoccupation of Shakespeare in the sonnets) and pitted them into one poem. This was very pretty- and quite emotionally stirring at points. The grammatical errors that burdened pointed out threw me off as well- I would suggesB correction.


  • burdened
    February 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i think this has a lot of great potential, it is a great story, and full of emotion and feeelings, and inspiring to read, however some little bits are slightly confusing for me:

    "Your love has made my go weak" - is there a word missing? it doesnt seem to make sense.
    and
    "I am tired of dealing with all my soar." - im not quite sure what you mean by this, it throws me completely.

    Altogether this is a great piece, with a lot of thought and emotion behind it, and great to read, i think the first line is fantastic and a great way to start this piece off. keep penning. XxX


  • love me 4 who i am
    February 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i like it


  • AngelDreamer
    February 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    verry verry nice i love the flow of it


  • December 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    sweet

    i really liked it


  • sparkling-assassin
    December 5, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Liana

    Okay So as you already know I LOVE THIS POEM!!!! so sweet. So yes. Personal story???? Or poem out of the head..srry random question. Anyhoo, Luck i wish-Mariah


  • ericv89
    December 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

  • Buckybearinlove
    December 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    good job

    good job. don't know who your talking about,but good job


  • The.poet.of.hearts
    December 1, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    marvallous you are good at it so why don't you try for poetic dramas they need more emotions and characters than this
    well it was superbly done
    by
    the poet of hearts and beautiful words


  • Malign Mentality
    November 30, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Whoa!!!!!!!!!!! good poem but lots of spelling issues. proof read all this. besides that it was good. i liked it alot. u did a great job. keep up the good work.


  • Poet of Dreams
    November 30, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    i did like it, it had a lot of passion and feeling in it. i would like to write more about it, but im in a hurry. Nicely done Bunny

    Good Write and God Bless
    Pastoral Poet
    Ben B.


  • ceegeeess
    November 30, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    songlike love poem!

    Dear sweet Liana, The poem is about the sacrificing tendency in love of the female partner. It is the greatness of woman . In line 8 replace the word 'starring' with 'staring'.
    Replace the words'stupit theft' with 'stupid thief'
    By making some changes can be improved a lot though it appears somewha prosaic. Realisation in love , though late, is welcome and the same is made clear in your poem.nice write dear LianaLong senteto be split and the beauty improves and the poem be developed into a lyrical one.


  • Another Conciousnes
    November 29, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    i can relate....
    the flow is strained, but that can be patched up. Hmm, the rhyming was interesting (sometimes rhyme, sometimes not...).
    Anyway, It's a nice peom.

  • sparkling-assassin
    November 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Aww.

    Awwww...Liana!!!!! So sweet....Personal story..Now i feel like a third wheel...like im wathcing a movie and a commercial came on i wanna know more....GREAT JOB!!!!
    Luv-Mariah.


  • Ascended to Hell
    November 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    well written i liked it


  • The Hidden Darkness
    November 28, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    nice

    This poem was not bad at all, you made some cool point, i will agree with DWN though, it was good but improvements can always be made, only Shakspeare wouldnt be able to correct and make his poems better, we all can. I would say go through it, express ideas more straight foward and jazz it up more, great one tho!


  • Dwn
    November 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    A good premice

    although the flow was a little strained , you have a good begining draft, I really think it has potentail, if you will just go back over it and tighten up your rhyme structure some. try to use fewer words to get your meaning across.

1 - 17 of 17