I don't know if this can last,
This feeling of swimming through stars.
Like lava,
Like ice,
Like the voices of
the Fallen Angels
That we are.
This sinking into Moonlight.
The slow drifting dance
Among red roses and
Softly glowing candle light.
I don't know how long
I'll be allowed to hold on
to these dreams come true.
I know that for now,
I thank the Gods
As I am lifted closer
To the paradise
That our kind have never
Forgotten.
Every time
He says
"I love you."
A contest entry
- prince charming by country-girl.
300 points, ended March 29, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *Who KNOWS how to love you~Who you are~ by Regretlove.
450 points, ended August 13, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Where Is The Love? by Little Lottie.
750 points, ended June 1, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Thank you for entering this!
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I'm not sure why this doesn't show up on my contest page. I got a note that said you entered this but I can't find it on the contest page... Please try to enter it again, it really was quite lovely. I love it, I really do. It's beautiful, unique, interesting, and filled with emotional honesty. It truly is brilliant and I would definately like to make it a preliminary finalist if you would please re-enter it.
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Oh, how sweet.. Really touching poem. Thanks for entering!
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that was really good!! i like how you relayed that emotion of fear that love will one day vanish....i know the feeling. you did a good job articulating that. thank you for entering!!
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Ich liebe du Marion.
You are an excelent writer and I think you are going to be really famous one day.
By the way... Did I mention that I wrote something for you? drop in and look if you want. -
I love this poem. And one day Dreams will come true.
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I like the disjointed last stanza. I am tired, I can not make a constructive criticism. BAH!
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Excelent!
I love this poem. It is truely beautiful, Brought a tear to my eye even. @};-
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very beautiful and touching. i'm not sure if i can directly relate, but you definately got your feelings across with this one. amazing job!
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i agree with rose, a bit, that while the rest of the poem has a kind of flow, the last stanza, while not bad, doesn't really have the same rhythm. but it's a good poem...am i happy now? maybe when i get swept away into the world of make believe in a couple of hourse i will. but for now, no, because i'm all alone, and my conscience is ringing in the silence wiht the things i don't want to hear...bleh.
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i dont know if it can last either. but i suppose being happy now and sad later is better than never being truly happy.. anyways, i really like this poem. the last stanza is kind of disjointed, i think, but the last line really pulls it and the poem together. good job..
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