These scars remind me that the past is real,
of how naive I was thinking the wounds would heal,
that life goes on, and so do we because we must,
and it's time I stopped trying to mend the wounds of us.
Some things you lose, and some you just give away,
because you know it's no use no matter what you say.
It just hurts too much to hold on to what's not there,
and a part of you dies when you realize they no longer care.
A false existence fought over for way too long-
how could something so beautiful end up so wrong?
The smiles and laughter, a lure of false security;
only once in the spider's web is laid out the impurity
that has woven itself amongst embittered souls,
into a realm of the unconscious that no-one can console.
They twist and tear, with nothing left but remorse,
and both hearts are torn asunder as it runs its course.
The memories singe inside and tears escape in droves
from empty pools of heartache, but no-one really knows
the pain felt in that deep abyss that can never again be touched;
a thick shell will protect it from being hurt so much,
and though the pain slowly subsides into unconsciousness,
at night it echoes out in dreams that can never be confessed.
I walk around with a smile, pretending everything's okay,
but remember when I looked into your eyes, and watched you drift away;
I heard the laughter turn into a sort of tainted scream,
and woke up realizing all this time that we were only a dream.
Author notes
A mix of options 1, 3, and 6.
To the precious memories of my once best friend, Maria, who I miss very much.
The hardest step is admitting that it has been over all this time, and nothing and no amount of time will change it. We are simply lost forever.
A contest entry
- Losing all hope .. losing the one you love most by ForNever.x.
300 points, ended October 7, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Losing Your Best Friend by B.bdawn.
600 points, ended November 20, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options! most anything goes! by Thendestinystruck.
550 points, ended January 6, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - my dear friend... by ilovE him.
400 points, ended May 16, 47 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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haha! its funny you should enter this!!! i just read it a few days ago and loved it!! good luck!
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HAHA That is crazy. I'm glad you liked it!
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a very go mixture of alll those options if i may say so myself.
Wonderfully put! -
great work
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"These scars remind me that the past is real-" Papa Roach
"Some things you lose, and some you just give away-" Jack Off Jill
I understand this may have been inspiration, or a contest prompt. But it might be a good idea to give credit in your notes. I am not too sensitive to it, but others may be offended.
Anyway, your word choice was brilliant, as was the flow. It was easily read out loud, and the one-stanza form was very fitting.
The last line was a perfect ending, and did not break the flow at all.
Well done!
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"These scars remind me that the past is real"
you totally got that from that Papa Roach song.
I did like some metaphors you had in there though.
Overall, not entirely original...the first line is what degraded it, I think. Besides that, well done.
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Yeah, I actually wrote this into a contest where I had to use that line from the Papa Roach song. Totally not my idea at all, trust me.
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This is one GREAT poem... it was perfectly written because of the emotions that are throughout the piece...
Its so sad though that it over for the two of you. I lost my best friend.... luckly we made up this year... and we are finally great friends....
Thank you so much for entering my contest and I just wanted you to know.... that WHATEVER may go wrong... because with me and her... everything that was wrong went wrong.... it can be fixed.
~lumin -
This is FANTASTIC! It describes so perfectly what I am feeling, and you were able to take the emotions and make a poem out of them. I think your's is the first entry to do that. Thanks so much for entering. Love and Peace, Charlene...
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Change is never easy when it means your hearts and minds have to come to a common ground and agree to leave it alone. Some things just never find that common ground.
s and best wishes... ~Genie~
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Thanks.
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Well.... congrats on the two gold trophies. The very first line sort of turned me off though. The rest of the poem was not bad ... but it just had a horribly unoriginal (extremely emo) beginning. That I couldn't get over. I did feel for the message. I have lost many best friends throughout the years. I don't think about it too much because if I did it would eat me alive but it really is painful. The style of this piece really reminds me of my own and I liked that... just that damn first like, YUCK!
Well thanks for entering and good luck.
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Yeah, I had originally adapted it for a contest where I had to open my poem with a line from a song, so I chose "these scars remind me the past is real" from Scars by Papa Roach, because it relates to how I was feeling at the moment. I've gotten used to the fact that we'll never be as close as we once were, thank God.
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This brought tears to my eyes, this is such an amazing write that i basically dont know what to say. my throat is really tight right now, this emotionally hit me really hard. THank you for writing this and sharing it.
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Awwwww I'm sorry I made you cry! If it makes you feel any better, I cried the whole time I wrote it! lol I'm glad you liked it, and that it touched you so profoundly. Thanks.
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Very great and deep write, I really enjoyed it
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Thank you.
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Would you..?
Would you mind if i put you're poem on my page?
Credit going to you of course.. I just love this poem so much
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Wow, that would be an honor! I'm very glad you liked it. And thanks for the gold!
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You made me cry
This is exactly what i was looking for in this contest
I'm bookmarking this so i can read it in the future. It was truly the best read so far.
Thank you so much for entering, everything in this poem is perfectly related too.
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Awsome
Very deep. It flows like a river of words from one statement to the next. Very Awsome
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Thanks. Bet ya can't guess who it's about.... lol Or maybe you can. We USED to be best friends and swore nothing would come between us. I kept my promise...she didn't.
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it is that that makes love one of the hardest things to deal with. i have had to admit to myself sometimes that it is never there, but there is something i tell myself now that helps me, with ever sun set there is a sun raise. keep it flowing
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This stupid site. I was just now told of your reply to my poem. Geez. Thanks anyways, even though the thanks is late.
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