O thou proud Nature
Rolling in ashes of long-burnt
Fiery love of yourself
What are you boasting of?
Thy greenery?
That’s nothing but
Wooden rotten figures
With wrinkled claws
Scratching the Earth’s breast
Fumbling for manure
Water-thirsty vampires
Destined to be strangled
By the icy hands of snowy demons!
Thy mountains?
They’re nothing but piles of dust
Proud of piercing the clouds
Forcing a heavy load
On the Earth’s shoulders
Yet, trodden by every foot
Crushed by every step
Dumb megalomaniacs
Whose sole voice
A mere echo
Dies in an instant
Not long enough to be heard!
Thy clouds?
Those plump, haughty phantoms
Wishing to display their mighty wrath
Pat each other on the shoulders
And roar to shake and shock
The creatures beneath
Yet melt in their rages’ climax
And weep for their untimely death!
Thy far stretching seas and oceans?
They’re nothing but tiny trivial
Drops of water
Gathering to form an impressive identity
By losing their own!
In the depth of their watery heart
Lay their so-called treasures
Which being nothing but shipwrecks
Make them pleased
With their great triumph
Over helpless, wooden toys!
Their anger is masterfully portrayed
By raising their eyebrows
Frowning and foaming desperately
To impress the captains
By their magnificent personality!!!
Thy Sun and Moon?
They are nothing but boring circles of light
One too lazy to move
One too transient in mood
One entangled in the boggy kingdom of his own flames
One begging hopelessly for a beam of light
One pleased with burning the eyes
One trained in fooling the wise
Now behold
That every single monument of thy greatness
That makes your eyes glow with pride
And your heart beat with pulses of joy
Is nothing but an illusory mirage
Were it not for the sweet words of poetry
Coupled with the melodious rhythm of embedded lyres
Were it not for the winged metaphors
Hand in hand with the marble fingers of imagination
Were it not for the poet’s discerning eye
To see in thee what thou hast not
Thou would not be seen,
Thou would not be loved…
Author notes
I have always adored Oscar Wilde. He was doubtlessly a genius. This humble tribute is the only way I can show my great love for him. Option #5
A contest entry
- Tell me something I don't know... by elemental angel.
450 points, ended April 14, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire Me! Earth/Nature Poetry by iamlost.
600 points, ended April 22, 2007, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - General: Free Verse, Rhyme and Everything Else by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 140 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 60 of 60
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fantastic
reading for the second time, I came to this conclusion that you re indeed a gifted poet -
I’m sure Mr. Oscar Wilde is so proud of this dedication. You wrote a very good poem and all these comments say so. This poem reminded me of the poem I wrote for Sa’di, Sheik Shiraz. I felt so great while writing and I’m sure you felt the same (Would you like to read my poem? Here is the link http://allpoetry.com/poem/2218972 )
And before I forget, congrast for wining three trophies on this humble tribute! That is great!
~Vernal Bloom~
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Wonderfully written, beautifully fierce. I cannot help but disagree with what you conveyed in the poem, but enjoyed reading it just the same.
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great
But, tell me, why you became interested in belittling nature. Were you inspired by Wilde? By the way, What would G.M. Hopkins think of you (and ofcourse Wilde) in Grave, probably surrounded by angles asking him to reply and defend "God's Grandeur". -
Hi. Mr. Rezaee. That was great. Seems like you re an Iranian version of Wilde
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very cool
Oscar Wilde was a fascinating man. I like this poem because of it's jesting nature. It was witty and intelligent and gave some interesting images.
Well written. Good luck in the contest!
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"Dumb megalomaniacs" and "winged metaphors" each earned an involuntary snort of appreciation. I know that doesn't sound exactly right, but when I am reading and come across something unexpected I make a noise that is best described as such.
I am surprised by the cheapness of the awards this piece has won, and downright shocked that it has entered another and come away with nothing. But those reactions are only due to the fact that I seldom give any other critic more credit than I give myself (but we can shrink me later, back to your piece).
The thing here is that "Life Imitates Art" is intensely lovable. Sure, it is a little contradictory to what we have come to believe as established aesthetic fact, but isn't that the point? You're clearly stating that, like the silent tree pitching over in the empty forest, without man's observation beauty is worth nothing, and therefore, may be considered just that - nothing. A non-existence.
The problem, of course, is that you are terribly, terribly mistaken. Mankind is the anathema of nature, and I can say that from common sense observation - I've never donated a dollar to any environmental initiative - hell, I barely recycle. Whatever life man breathes, epistemology speaking, into nature, he surely sucks back out, exhale style, in a carbon dioxide belch.
But never mind that. Let's keep it simple and say that I am unimpressed with the idea that something which provides life to man should depend on man for recognition by man, therefore exalting man over that which provides him life. It is a circular insult lacking insight.
Even if I accept your argument on its logical basis the vanity remains too extreme for my tastes.
I am a content critic at heart, which is to your disadvantage in this case, as you have written (content aside) wonderfully charming and competent prose. However, if the words themselves sum in error then the entire effort is but the empty ash of the silent tree.
Thank you for your entry.
~Das -
Great Job in writing this! Thankyou for entering and Good Luck in the Contest!
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This is a very well written piece with some great imagery. Your word choices go well with your writing style. Nicely done. Take care and Have fun. Steve
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Remarkable
Truly talented poets are hard to come by. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing lifes truly blessed words in expressing something hard to describe. You mastered a talent many yearn to get a glimpse of. Thank you. In Love, Light and Truth
J
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Splendid
I have a new favorite poet in you. I was transfixed with this worthy ode. I adore Oscar Wilde for his unique passion. I truly feel this a superior poem and I than you much for sending me this link. Well done, Sir Poet!
Wolfie
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Awesome!
This is awesome in the way you have executed it. The theme is strong, the message substantial, the language refined, the tone sophisticated, the rhythm has life, and what not. An unusual and unique piece of poetry. But I was wondering what inspired the thought behind it until I read the last stanza, which, infact, is the heart of this poem. I am glad I came across such a delightful read. Thanx for sharing.
Best,
Sophie.
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Oscar Wilde is one of my ultimate favorites. And I can see how this tributes him. I think he would be extremely proud of this piece here.
So many metaphors! I love it just for that. And the way you describe why the earth cannot boast of it's beauties is imagination at it's finest. I simply loved it, to say the very very least. Bravo!
Sweetest of dreams! ~D
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Fine tribute indeed!
I loved this poem, so moving,so well written. My favourite lines are:
Thy mountains?
They’re nothing but piles of dust
Proud of piercing the clouds ....
Definitely a poem to be read over and over! Julie.
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This seems good
I believe this is probably a very good poem, but I had trouble following all the symbolism, I think. Anyway, at times I was not certain what you meant. I am not at all familiar with Oscar Wilde unfortunately. I have only heard his name.
I am very pleased that you like "Have You Dreams?" as much as you did. Thanks very much for reading and commenting.
Andy
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This is a very good poem in honor of Wilde, containing a lot of the characteristics of his, with your own personal writing style shining through.
Thy Sun and Moon?
They are nothing but boring circles of light
One too lazy to move
One too transient in mood
One entangled in the boggy kingdom of his own flames
One begging hopelessly for a beam of light
One pleased with burning the eyes
One trained in fooling the wise
I do like Nike's suggestion, but it is your preference-you might want the emphasis on "One" and that is well too. Nicely done, I look forward to more of your poetry.
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Truly outstanding. The tempo and wording are very nice and you do an excellent job of maintaining your form here.
The only suggestion I would have would be to rearrange your sun and moon stanza so that each line does not start with "one". Group the sun phrases and the moon phrase together but keep the orders of each. For example:
The sun too lazy to move
entangled in the boggy kingdom of his own flames
pleased with burning the eyes
The moon too transient in mood
begging hopelessly for a beam of light
trained in fooling the wise
Other than that, an exceptional bit of prose.
Keep writing
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This is a beautiful and well written piece. Wonderful flow and meter. I like the style you used here. This is definitely a workof art. Blessings. Debby
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amazing!
A wonderful flow. This one is going in my favorites. It amde me think. Every single thing on this world, if you look at it from a different angle, becomes something completely different. I also really liked the use of old english. Great job! And thank you for your comments.
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There is not a whole lot that I can say.. I love it, I love it, I love it.... Thank you for entering and good luck with the contest
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Very old English
In the writing style. It is true the poet gives birth through words the beauty that he/she beholds. Very well penned. Good structure and flow
As always I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy -
this was a lovely tribute to the great man. Though i'm not sure of the derision of mother earth...even in metaphor. (although i did adore how droplets lost their identity to become ocean and seas) thank you for allowing me to glimpse into your work...i'll be back!...peace and harmony... desi
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Awesome write, very nice, very original,,, good luck in contest, way to keet your pen flowing my friend great job!
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Wow, I love this view! I love the way you have looked at each aspect of the earth that everyone enthuses about and taken it down a notch, then restored everything in the last stanza, because it is truly poetic verse and the poet in each one of us that creates the beauty of the earth and lets us appreciate it. Thank you for inspiring me!
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This was an excellent poem! Very original with each of the parts of nature described. It was very beautifully written and made you think and see nature in a different way!
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A most wonderful awesome write this is! Wow! Totally kewl! Happy to have come back and read this!
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well penned
What an amazing tribute to he that is important to you. You have peened an amazing piece I love the metaphrical aspects of your writting great job....
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wow you have reduced nature to a
mere pittance, a mote in the eye of God and man alike without the painters of the words that frame the beauty one can find when they look beyond the brutality and the ho-hum of nature's standard fare.
Just a a dish of fine cuisine can look dull on a menu, and taste great, or look superb on a menu and taste like cardboard, the description of what is mere food, can be interperted through taste or written concept enough to fool the public into enjoying or hating the finished work. nicely done.~Artis~ -
I think that Oscar Wilde was a genius, although he was often judged harshly based on his personal life choices. This is a fine tribute and some lines are brilliant in visual effectiveness, although the entire piece is enjoyable with imagery. I loved, "Thy mountains? They’re nothing but piles of dust
Proud of piercing the clouds", that has to be my favorite line of the poem. Very well written and I'm sure Oscar would be honored. Best, Elizabeth
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wow, you better watch out for karma, lol. Is this the antithesis of the book of Job or what? And yet such a similar style to it! I have never read such a slant on nature before- ever, and I studied the relationship between nature and technology in college. This is truly an original take.
On another note, your title captured my attention straight away because my daughter is an art major, and she just wrote a very lengthy paper on art for arts sake, or art as an imitation/refelction of life. I don't quite see the connection between your title and poem most likely because I don't view nature the way you have portrayed it in your poem.
Your poem is excellently written. -
=]
this is awesome
freaking awesome
i love your point of view
this is brilliant
every single stanza amazed me
=]
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AMAZINGLY written. I enjoyed the piece even though I am not familiar with the writings of Oscar Wilde. I loved the metapjors and the images you have penned. Great piece. Indeed a trophy winner.
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Well, the poetic images come fast and thick in an endless flood, much of their meaning remains arcane, and certainly unlike anything that Wilde would have written himself, however, I think it is a fine, fine tribute, to a great and underappreciated English poet…bravo…
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This is extremely well written and more than reminisent of Wildes style. A very well crafted write. Thank you so much for entering and good luck in my contest.
Bravo
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Brilliant
Not only do you write in the style, but do it justice. It is beautiful. The thought and time it took to write this is impressive. You truly did the Man proud. Thanks for pointing me here. I truly enjoyed your use of "vanity", and the structure gives strength and character and support where it is needed most. Very well done Poet! -
Although I have never been a big fan of Wilde, I must say you have given me much to think about...maybe I should re-trace my past endevors and read him again, I must have missed something! The use of metaphors in this piece are brilliant and I congratulate you on a wonderfully written poem. It read as though is was extremely well thought out, and constructed with much thought...I thank you for pointing me in this direction
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This is really well written. I love how much great imagery you've gotten in there, and it reminds me of Wilde a lot with the numerous references to vanity.
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Not bad if I do say so
Long poem for me most times seem to lose their way, they end up wondering too and frow. This poem you have created as a tribute to Oacar Wilde on the other hand has a measured flow that is constant and steady. For me it would have to be to make it work. Your use of nature tied together with metsphor's makes this poem easy to read........well done ............joe
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Very Well Penned
Hi, sorry it took me so long to get to your poem. what a fantastic job you have done here. Great imagery, and metaphor's. A very nice tribute indeed. Keep on writing, you have much to give to the world with your poetry.....Katie
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What a finally crafted poem..with all the best of Wilde's ways of thinking.... I am glad someone sent me along to share your writing .such great images and metaphors... beatuifuly done.
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an amazing writing here
I am an admirer of Wilde and this exercise in sensibility is the essence of Wilde taking apart an adversary with a rapier wit and pungent sarcasm; thank you so much for this piece of Art... PK
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he would have delighted in the vagaries you see and his ego would have swelled considerably in the tribute you do him. Much justice here and so beautifully done.
Love, C
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"Were it not for the sweet words of poetry
Coupled with the melodious rhythm of embedded lyres
Were it not for the winged metaphors
Hand in hand with the marble fingers of imagination
Were it not for the poet’s discerning eye
To see in thee what thou hast not
Thou would not be seen,
Thou would not be loved…"
A very intelligent penning, Poet...Wilde would be most honored, methinks...I enjoyed the dualities dueling throughout this piece...Most people wouldn't consider the vagaries of Nature in this light; therefore, its originality & unique perspective is part of its inherent charm...All in all, an impressive work...Thank you for sharing...My favorite poems are those that attempt to explain the art & craft of writing...Well done, Poet... Wanda
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Excellent
Well I have to say if I had been speaking you would have rendered me speechless.this was an extremely clever write.I loved it, Ros -
Excellent!
I cannot honestly find words to describe how much I like this poem! It is very well written, and the description is also excellent. My favourite section being:
Thy clouds?
Those plump, haughty phantoms
Wishing to display their mighty wrath
Pat each other on the shoulders
The imagery created in these 4 lines is enough to make anyone wonder... I shall not look at clouds the same way again LOL. The final stanza sums up exactly what you were saying throughout the poem and I think that is all what top class poetry is all about. Very well done.
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"Were it not for the sweet words of poetry
Coupled with the melodious rhythm of embedded lyres
Were it not for the winged metaphors
Hand in hand with the marble fingers of imagination
Were it not for the poet’s discerning eye
To see in thee what thou hast not
Thou would not be seen,
Thou would not be loved…"
Oh yes how poetry makes the ordinary extrordinary! The final stanza to this piece was supurb. I really enjoyed this piece. Thank you so much for directing me here and also for your comments on my poem I Saw a Young Man Die
Ruth
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I am so happy you have directed me to this piece of yours...it's quite refreshing. The ending was really fantastic and left me in a sphere of wondrous thought. I like that even though this piece is beautiful and fluid, you make some stark, blunt observations that hit the reader.
i.e.
Thy mountains?
They’re nothing but piles of dust
You take something so big and so powerful and diminish it to near nothing...brilliant. It's really effective.
Great piece here...you're great. -
Remarkable poem
I mean that: it is remarkable. You have absorbed Wilde's use of metaphor, colour and - yes - luscious fascination with the language of description. He, I am sure, would be honoured by this tribute which has echoes of his Salome. Thank you for asking me to read this.
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This is a strong tribute. You have taken metaphores and imagery to new levels. They flow continuously through out never fading. Making this a solid form. Wonderfully done. Thank you for leading me to this piece. I will return to read more. Bravo...
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I don't think I've ever read a tribute poem, at least not one like this. I like the questions you direct at nature, and yes, the personification. I'm not too sure what I think about Oscar Wilde, however. It's cool that you like him and wrote this poem. Good imagery, nice write.
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Marvolous!
Wow, that was a great read. I love the personification, it makes it a far sight easier to understand what's going on. The ending is quite powerful also, relating the eye of a poet to what the beauty of nature is. Keep on writing!
~Becky
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this was a very good poem. A bit heavy reading at times, with a tendancy to almost overcome the reader. but the descriptiveness and vividness of imagery and emotion were good.
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Hi, this made me smile, certainly another take on mother nature,lol, I personally would not use the thee and thou and thine unless you continue the use of older English all the way through, I liked it a lot, a nice tongue in cheek look at all around us, hugs Di
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Amazing Poem!!!!
Hello, I must say you have penned an amazing poem here. Your imagery is so vivid and paints a picture of sadness and beauty as nature is seen through your words. Your talent shines through the darkness of the words. Excellent Write!!!! Thank you for sharing.
Sandy
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In a universe populated mainly by "you-know-what-I-mean" and "It's-the-thought-that-counts" modernista poetry, it's not often that a critical review from a "Prog-lyrical" poet is invited. Rather, more likely it's dreaded. After all it's our goal to elevate and enhance the missive into poetry by carefully selecting the word's, both for meaning and tonal quality to create a read experience that transcends and blends both words and message into art. But as you invited me, I will be pleased to share my thoughts.
I will begin by sharing my over all impression on your technique. To begin with I like your control, the long dark vowels, sibilents and slow regular hard consonant drumbeat sets a powerful and masculine tone and creates a rich tapestry of texture. Your vivid images and structure are of course quite organic, a quality or all prog writes that allows a work to grow or evolve from start to finish hopefully in some small way merging the reader with the poem. Overall this is a very smooth, if not slick write demonstrating quite a bit of talent and skill.
That having been said... this is probably the first poem I've read in quite a while that I found good enough to nit-pick. And I should qualify my comments by saying that this is just my opinion based on my own personal hearing and my own particular genre of poetry. Your vision is always more important and correct for your poetry than mine. So I don't want to offend or sound overly critical....
My first critique is that I wouldn't have soft peddled the second lines of certain stanzas. ie.
'Thy mountains?
They’re nothing but piles of dust'
I might think
'Thy mountains?
NOTHING but piles of dust(!)'
By Pulling out the long soft 'a' and two consonant slides and striking harder with the more discordant "nothing", you might have increased the impact of your point. This might just be a stylistic difference between us, my philosophy is "if in doubt go over the top".
My second comment would be regarding your pivot in S5 "Thy far stretching seas and oceans....(are)masterfully portrayed...(and)magnificent." I think it takes away from your penultimate stanza when you turn your critique into a tribute. For the most part, you seem to be, at least ostensibly deriding Mr. Wild until S5, then with those 2 adjectived you seem to be complementing him or his images then you go back to using negative adjectives like lazy in S6. Certainly you could make a case for foreshadowing, but I'm not convinced you really wanted to pivot in S5 and those two adjectives might just have slipped out prematurely.
All in all, this is a fine poem, one of the best I've read in a while. Knowing nothing more about you than this poem, I'm going to assume that you have both talent and skills and hope that you accept my comments in the humble and constructive manner they are intended.
Rainbows,
~RJ~
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wow..
Oscar Wilde.. Embarrassed to say I've never read any of his work. However I have read this and I can tell you it's amazing. But sad.. I mean to talk about nature so negatively brought tears to my eyes.. The ending though, that made it beautiful. This is really well done.
Nikido
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Not a good critic here
Not being entranced by either Wilde, or Kerouac, I am not qualified to comment on the tribute to Wilde.
Just as I do not appreciate Guernica by Picasso, I am not fond of ugly words and thoughts in prose and poetry.
It seems there are cynics about life and nature everywhere. I do love language and the ability to communicate ideas of beauty and symmetry with a dash of irony and sarcasm along the way.
Thank you for the visit.
amicus...
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Wonderfully crafted.So much imagery.A fantastic write.Very well done, Ros
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WOW!!!
This is anything but a humbled tribute!This is a masterpiece! Have you had anything published?This belongs in the OSCAR WILDE museum. You are truly blessed. Talent is a mere shadow word for eminence universal communication.Not to mention your taste in writers.If I were a decendent of OSCAR WILDE THIS WOULD BE HANGING BY HIS WORK AS THE ULTAMITE TRIBUTE.Are you fiamilar with JACK KEROUAC....you might also read some of his work. I would love to read your thoughts on him. Thankyou for your kind words. It is the ultimate compliment when someone takes the time from their life to read an unknown writer.I thankyou.I hope you can read more of my work because i definitly plan on knowing more about your style.Very classy indeed.
MUCH LUCK BROTHER,
LOWELL POE -
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Thank You So Much
Thank you so much for your comment. You made my day. You are really kind. I would definitely read Kerouac and share my thoughts with you if you deem them worthy. Thanks Again.
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