Betrothed to me a petaled maid
whose fragrance I embrace.
Upon her floral head there bows
a noble wreath of lace
in ornamental blooms of white,
entwine with Orchids' grace.
Author notes
Orchids symbolize love, beauty, refinement.
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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such a lovely little piece that is poetic, perfect in form, succinct and full of imagery with blossoms and perfume.
lovely poem indeed...
Kimmie
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Dear Kimmie, thank you for visiting my poem. I adored your comment. Hugs, ♥ Belle
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Beautiful
You have penned a very nice tribute to the orchid. It is hard to believe that in Hawaii the orchid is considered a weed that is know for killing trees.
Polly
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Yikes, I did not know of that Hawaiian tidbit! Thank you for visiting my lil Orchid 6-liner. My best, ♥ Belle
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pure delight
ma belle,
this is pure delight ... but I didn't expect less from you than a poem representing perfection in both form AND content ... plus the extra magic touch ...
maa
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Thank you, my beautiful sister, for your comment. I just returned from out of town and your sweet smile was resting on my page. xx
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so beautifully you have woven the orchid into the image of a bride. as usual your choice of words is great- like 'petaled maid'.
at your poetic best(when you are not?).well-done and hugs.~bengali.
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Thank you, Haiku Princess. Sometimes there is just the purest simplicity in saying less. xx
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very nice poem
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Thank you for visiting.
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Belle, this is a wee gem.
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... tis short and sweet I supposeth.
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Grace is the essence
Regardless of the word, grace is the essence of this poem of innocence. Beautifully composed. The flow, diction, sound are at one in a fine poetic piece. I recommend this poem to Black Comedy. Ron. *grace*
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Thank you, Ron, for adding your golden touch as a critiquer. I have missed you visiting me. I know you have a hectic schedule as we all do. ♥ Belle
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And the poem reflects the bloom...
Just a wonderful and pognant piece that is delightfully profound and yet precise and simple in appearance.
You have the gift, and use it well dear Sis.
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Thank you, big brother. You are so sweet. Now, it kinda makes me think of you and Sherry, it does. Belle xx
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Take Me to the Alter
Belle.....such is the beauty sung of heart....
today the now forever we are.....
no love be more splendor
till day we part
adored in your beauty
my nurtured flower
this beautiful rhyming poem screams for more.......yet....it says it all....love the beauty and its fragrant air........splenderous this is....
Malabu -
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Hi Mally, what a lovely critique and as lovely as a poem itself. Thank you, dear one, for visiting. ♥
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Exquiste
Somehow I just knew I'd find you here amoungst the heady scents of the Orchids.Lovely smooth run on the lines.Subdued rhyme softened by your thoughts you've woven delicately.~~~Suseann
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Dear Suseann, you read this belle like a book! Thank you for your beautiful words. xx
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This was so beautiful, lovely imagery. You have written six brilliant lines! Well done with this, I loved it!
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Thank you, Kiran. I think the shorter poems are more difficult to write than the full ones, aren't they? You have to omit all the fillers to really accentuate the message. xx
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Yes
I concur with this opinion. They definitely are if they are to become memorable which your poem could become! Ron
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wonderful after a day of studying on weddings
ma belle (short and sweet as your kids?),
"Orchid" CAMS in on a matronly flowering time.
The dress has all the simplicities of no buttons but a bouquet, which will probably be dried up as a decorative keepsake but the other might get wet with breastfeeding soon, the ease of its stretchiness as :
"Betrothed to me a petaled maid
whose fragrance I embrace."
My favorite feeling is favoourite over :
"Upon her floral head there bows
a noble wreath of lace"
since the cleverly put in pheromones of L3 has exqusitely brought out the 'nail on the head' of what my husband's nose says of my hair smelling like roses by no lavender bath etcetera.
The princessy feeling of becoming kin is lined next!
The last two lines seemed cataloguey, with the gown now as if on a mannequin that could be ignored because it doesn't feel about the "maiden" anymore. Could you insert the shoulder of her at least again?
Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you P-Afforded for your delightful perspective. I am amazed at your keen insight and attention to detail. I did compose the lines before choosing the photo, unfortunately. My main intent was to describe the orchid in a bridal setting (in this case, focusing on the wreath). Your suggestion was ingenious but with only six lines allotted, I am at an disadvantage. I should think at a later time I will expound this into a sonnet and will utilize your wonderful suggestion. Thank you again for visiting me; I am most honored. Belle
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this is a good piece of poetry i find which you have written here with some style, it holds a nice gentle rhythm to the poem and the flow is very niceindeed. i thank you very much indeed for sharing your poetic talent. i enjoyed reading it with my eyes. i wish that you have good luck in the contest you have entered. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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