Come Sun, Pierce My Dark Clouds
The sun is shining,
chasing the dark
The birds are singing,
the dog doesn’t bark.
I see those fields,
blazing with light
A melody rings,
making me smile.
A fire is burning,
warming my soul.
A decision’s shaping,
I hear the bell toll.
I have been judged,
good weighing bad.
I won’t have a grudge,
I’ve been prepared.
Cerberus’s calling,
I must obey.
I feel myself shaking,
this is the day.
I can feel the pain,
don’t hide the light.
And what have I gained?
No tears to cry.
And the wind is blowing,
masking my trace.
The sun’s still shining
upon my grave.
Come Sun, Pierce His Dark Clouds
The sun is shining,
clearing the sky.
The birds are singing,
greeting the light.
See, there’s an aster?
But look over there.
The children’s laughter
is filling the air.
These happy moments,
timeless they seem.
This fake fulfillment
is all I need.
For the wind is blowing,
he’s been brave.
The sun is shining,
upon his grave.
God, have mercy!
Oh, curse the dice.
Useless it seems,
his self-sacrifice.
Author notes
Originally, I've planned on writing an optimistic poem for a change. Well, it didn't work, but I think it turned out nicely. Part II is closer to what I wanted at first, I wrote it because I've been disappointed with the first one. But I didn't want to throw that out either... So in the end I linked the two poems together. For those of you, who doesn't understand, the first poem is in His point of view. He had died, and he's waiting for his judgment. He is between Hell and Heaven. Then the bell tolls, and he's condemned. In Part II we see the family he left behind, and we find out a but more about him. It just makes it even more.. ironical, that he has sacrificed himself, but he has been sent to Hell... Well, life's not fair, and neither is death.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I like how the two parts complement each other, and also those little twists you've given each part - how the sun is still shining even on his grave (and I also like how you've half-rhymed "trace" and "grave". It's more disturbing and chilling, and fits more with the subject than if you'd fully rhymed
), and also how his sacrifice is useless in the end.
Nice work!
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