you pull me near
i close my eyes
i hear your voice
i breath your lies
you tape my wings
and chain me up
you box my heart
and cage my love
i sit in the dark
i hope and believe
you hold me so tight
you don't let me breath
i'm cold as stone
but i cannot die
my soul has left
it's no longer mine
A contest entry
- Spill Your Heart by hand-in-hand.
525 points, ended December 2, 2006, 48 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - blackrose... by my savior-pedro.
355 points, ended February 15, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Your Personal Best #2 (Prewrites Allowed) by aGent Lemon.
360 points, ended March 20, 2007, 32 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Any... old or new thing ...at all! ...ANYTHING EVERYBODY!!!! by wendymolly.
750 points, ended June 16, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lots of Options. :) Come check it out! by FightOffYourDemons.
400 points, ended September 4, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Option #1. shows the emptiness of a lost soul.
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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WOW!!! That is a really good poem. I really wish i had talent like you, I'd love to be able to write like that
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lovit! urafinalist!
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wow, woah this is.... like i dunno what word to use and thats a first! beautiful,excellent, stunning all great words but do not come to to what i want to say oh well congratulations on a fantasic poem!
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Very Well Written
Thank you very much for entering this contest. I may add much more of a comment later on since there are so many other submissions.
You may want to keep in mind that I will try to open more of the same contests one after another if I can earn enough feedback to do so which I must say would be truly appreciated. Altogether, I hope this will also give everybody a glimpse at one of you're favorite accomplishments which hopefully in turn inspire them to look at what else you've got. -
Very well written
love the poem it is great!
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keep on
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Great
Its a great poem, and i believe you should leave it as it was. -
no. u dont need to add another stanza. i love it just the it is. its awesome. my favorite part was:
you tape my wings
and chain me up
you box my heart
and cage my love
so yea.... well, good luck in my contest!!
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Great work!
Simple, but powerful! Congrats!
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this is a great poem
I love this. well done, beautifully written. I adore the ending:
my soul has left
it's no longer mine.
that's so powerful it's unbelievable... well done.
congrats on bronze... -
Very nice
so well written.congratulations on your win!
Carolyn
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I love it, wow. I love the short simplicity of it. Very powerful and much what im looking for. Good luck
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Wow. This was a very strong poem.
It gave me such a trapped feeling, like being held down and an urge to break the chains. It really envoked a great deal of emotion within me, well done.
Personally, I think you could go either way with having an ending stanza or not. It depends how you want the poem to be displayed. If it ends how it ends now, I believe it gives a trapped feeling to the poem, very strong may I had. However, if you add another stanza, (about becoming free again?) it may give a feeling of hope to the poem.
I would enjoy it either way, this was a very good write. Well done.
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i think its perfect because when u say your soul is no longer yours it concludes a point and if you started another one in the poem you would have to add a few more instaed of just one. it would take away from the short and tragicly sweet feel to it. great wright! don't change it.
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