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Free fall

 

He saw them fall
Couldn't he catch?
A reason for death -
An abstract thought,
Life's greed and fear
surfacing above...


Sinking through stairs
the sloping heights;
Looking down I see
brooding devils.
I'll fall free!
A smooth free fall
Like into love and ecstacy...
Slipping into a mistake?
Drinking consumed words
Pseudo-doped stature
Dazed and confused...
I lie on this ground,
parched and dry,
far away from heights -
Vertigo!
 

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • giving up on poetry
    July 21, 2007

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    very good effective and short i find it above release and a hint of giveing up and such. good emttion it seems like a quick write though it's fun reading not really that memoriable but good loved the words choice and the pictures you painted


  • trytothink
    May 16, 2007

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    Umm A little conffussing, but well understood. Awesome abstract, and painted picture. "Sinking through stairs
    the sloping heights" I liked this the best. Keep up the good work!


  • Jalalbad gold member
    May 15, 2007
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    sweet!


  • Master Anarchy
    May 15, 2007

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    oooh ... the dreaded ellipsis ... and again ...

    Effectively short lines, seemingly quasi-coupled of content/intent. Nicely concatenated yet varigated imagery.

    For double points ... the poem does not induce vertigo. For that a greater euphony/cacophony might be needed, or at the least a focus in the author which I attempt not here even to begin to venture upon although I may try to say that there must be a way that we might fly today into the bat caves unknowing to prey for the known that we wish to seek, meekly not inheritting the earth in such unwise that we would then rebirth have to seek - but to mountain peak I'll not hie, for it's your poem and bye and bye the clash and dash of words would raise more than vertigo from my praise.

    Bon.

    • Samyuktha P.C.
      May 15, 2007
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      The words you use t even critic and envelope your feelings on this write are so poetic and an enjoyment to read. Thanks a lot for this wonderful comment that i wish to ponder over for some more time before I comprehend a reply. Love. Sam


  • cali951
    May 14, 2007

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    I like this poem because when you fall it is free your free at the moment i also like the way you used your words i dont read or hear poems like this everyday


    • Samyuktha P.C.
      May 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      That's so beautiful to hear. Thanks a lot for reading my work.. love. sam.


  • Musimwa
    April 19, 2007
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    very good

    wow, dear poet, this is a very good poem. I am touched by the imagery. Keep this up


  • Lyndon gold member
    March 21, 2007

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    Physically based

    but metaphysically explored! The texture of the poem is crafted by key words: surfacing; sinking; brooding; dazed and confused; pseudo-doped; parched and dry. There is a touch of the Wasteland of the Spirit in this. There is also something Lenten here also [leading up to Easter]. Christ, in the wilderness, before his ministry was tempted from great heights but rejected the way of worldliness and self-serving. The title is apposite and you end in an emotional spin and brainstorm. Superb writing, dear Sam. Ron.

    • Samyuktha P.C.
      March 21, 2007
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      It's simply superb when you do get to read my work. As references you place here do puzzle me, I shall check and verify. As for where I wrote this from is also to give credit to an ingenious cinema technique; Hitchcock Vertigo. But that's only a very small part of it all. Thanks a lot for reading. Love ya. Take good care. Sam


  • takenfromgrace
    March 17, 2007
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    good

    this is good. keep it up? ^_^


  • gentle breeze
    January 10, 2007

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    I think that your use of literary devices in this poem really shows that you possess true talent in the art of poetry. This poem is very deep and really holds a lot of meaning.


    • Samyuktha P.C.
      January 12, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks a lot for the comment. This was a poem I enjoyed writing and really wanted people to read. Love. sam

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