succulent,
these grapes of deceit
as their sweetness glides lovingly
down my throat
laying their lies upon my heart
and I, believing every word,
each lie a trophy for you
to be admired by your spirit
each one lingering, pressing,
harsh upon my soul
why do I believe them
as if they were gospel
am I so insignificant
that I can’t seem to recognize
the me within myself anymore
try as I might,
I can’t seem to stop believing
though they haunt my dreams
my every moment, awake or sleeping
and there you go again
telling me you love me,
saying how much I mean to you
when all the time I know
it’s just more tasty fruit
which you continue to feed me
at the slightest sign of my hunger,
my hunger for you, your love
your meaningless lies
succulent grapes for my soul
until it dies of over indulgence
…and still I hunger for more
Renee Chandler and Dee Garner
November 24, 2006
Author notes
I chose this option:
"Give me sweet lies, and keep your bitter truths."
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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lies are so devistating and erode away at who we are, keeps us separate and your poem has displayed such elegance in exploring the topic. blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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Judged
Looks like you did a good job on this.
I'll give two compliments and a critique.
COMPLIMENT: You know how to work a metaphor, my friend.
COMPLIMENT: Your word choice is simply glorious, and it reflects a polished vocabulary. THANK YOU FOR NO SPELLING OR PUNCTUATION ERRORS! I hate contests where people don't proofread.
CRITIQUE: I might have made this just a tad more specific. I would have tried concrete examples of lying since you picked a highly done subject, the lies committed in a loving relationship. -
Its very good...
... It makes me
I know someone like this.
-
Wonderfully expressed
Very Very nice I loved the words you used they flowed together so wonderfully. I applaud you sincerely (Lisa)
"succulent,
these grapes of deceit
as their sweetness glides lovingly
down my throat
laying their lies upon my heart
and I, believing every word,
each lie a trophy for you
to be admired by your spirit
each one lingering, pressing,
harsh upon my soul"
-
Wow
Wow, Eddy. thank you for such an indepth interpretation of my poem and what it means
And I couldn't agree more. Life is just about what you say it is here and it's what we do with it, the choices we make, that makes all the differences.
-
A lover's truth
Kay,
First let me say I love the word succulent. To me
that will always be a poem in and of itself...
The very act of wanting always tends to cloud our judgment, especially in the area of relationships.
It matters not if it is upon first meeting, midway,
or often the love has left and we are still in a state of denial about it.
Many times upon first meeting we place characteristics upon those we have met knowing nothing of their "true"
nature, but only what we hope lies their because of our wants for what we picture in our heads to work out.
If in the course of conversation we hear something they want of need, we try to become that fulfillment, whether it is in our true nature of not, for maybe we can "change" them later...lol...that rarely works does it.
And so once the "lie" is in place we now have to continue the facade we have created, hoping they don't find out we made it up in the first place. Maybe we think subconsciously they will be impressed because we wanted them so much we would do anything, but a lie never does help in the end does it, for eventually truth always has a way of coming out, and biting us in the preverbable butt.
It interesting how want and hope are intermingled often
so even when the end comes we still hope for the "best", but what is best for one may not be what is best for both, and therein will always lie the old catch22. What we want may not be what the other wants, just a giving love will never guarantee our love will be returned.
Both life and love are easy if we move our preconceptions out of them and see things as they are and not as we want/wish/hope they should be.
Sorry for the ramble but you have hit upon something that everyone should no only read, but study with open eyes, for how much hurt could really be avoided if we did but recognized the error of our ways...
There is a quote that goes,
In wanting nothing I found I had everything.
So very true, for when the "want" is removed we can
finally see what the real "need" is...
Happy Holidays
Hugs...Eddy
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