Torn

I twist the rubber band you flicked at me tonight
And when I laughed my heart clenched so tight.  Why can't I just go and move, be close to you and get in the groove, to give my heart whole and all, to have you do the same and break that wall.  Why do I question all you feel yet remain with assurance that this has to be real, just to loosen my grip and think instead of feel.  Why does your smile turn me inside out and make me love you more without a doubt.  When did this start, when did it begin, I'm blinded by all that I hide within.  To tell you all would be bliss, but how would you react with this? Would you simply laugh the way you do, pretending not to know better or that it's true?  Or would you smile and shyly tell me the same, finally ending this hurtful game?  So many questions swarming in my mind, why can't I just say it and wait for your answer frozen in time?  The world would still, my heart would stop, breathing is an option, my thoughts are caught.  Your answer could change my world or crush my heart.  No pressure, no worries, no fear or shame, just tell me how you feel....so that I may never be the same again.  And still, I sit here, twisting that rubber band...my head swarming with questions and answers I'll never have at hand....