Evil lurks in the dark corners of her soul
She stares at me with an evil grin
Her fearsome glare pushes me into a hole
I must fight back she will not win
Our harmless feud grows to be more
It becomes an uncontrollable enmity
The trouble ship is far from the shore
play times over were of to sea
Can it ever end without pain
It will be resolved with me on top
She will be declared insane
She forced me to this I can not stop
Will it can it ever be stopped
I am not crazy and just upset
It can't be over she can be topped
To defeat her I am set
The feud has come to an end
neither one on top
Both these girls are now dead
because they didn't know when to stop
Author notes
It's about a feud between two different girls who were once friends. The lesson is be careful who you offend. Because you don't know how far that person will go before they stop.
A contest entry
- Ages 12 & Under ONLY - Write How You Feel! by Amunet Wolfbane.
525 points, ended December 3, 2006, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - for ages 13 & under write me anything by Power Girl.
375 points, ended February 18, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Friends by nobodys looking.
300 points, ended May 14, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - poems with impact by know one.
380 points, ended March 6, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
wow this is awesome!
great poem
I can't belive your only 12!!
amazing -
it sucked
Wow that really sucked. The rhyming was way too forced. I don't even get anymore. Weird how much I've progressed since then. -
umm I don't get much of this poem, but I also get the feeling I'm not supposed to. this seems to be a very personal very touching write, good job. and I hope whatever this is about works out for the best.
-
I agree with all those above me: few things are truly worth fighting for. I know - I have been in situations where I really disliked someone, but in such cases, sometimes it's better for both to go your own seperate way than to keep fighting. You expressed the emotion very well here. Great job!
-
Bottom line is there are few things truly worth fighting for or over for that matter. Almost no one ever benefits from a fight. It is a mere waste of time and enegery that could be better spent on other things.
-
Ohhh well this was ok.. it was ok for me. I personally thought your other poem "Youth" was so much better. But personally, I liked this. But overall, it was average.
The flow was a little weird.. "will it can it" isn't technically a correct sentence, avoid doing that, because it is a common mistake made in a many, many poems.
I thought the ending wasn't good.. and it's a shame because I saw you were building up and up just to say you wish you never met... it like totally didn't go with where you were leading me to... even if it was meant for surprise, I don't think it fit.
Other than that, this was interesting, and I liked it. Keep learning, keep growing, and keep writing.
-
sometimes we can wish indeed we've never met a particular person, especially when it turns out that this person isn't really someone for you to hang out with... you've expressed things here that a lot of us will be able to relate to well done!
A few oopsies I found
in title: fued should be feud
second paragraph, second line: enmity should be entity?
best of luck in the contest
-
Great write! There really is no point in feuding with anyone. What do you really get out of it? Nothing but a life of drama and turmoil. Most likely over something that was not even worth the effort
-
that was really goodcool
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
