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[You took out my heart.]

You took out my heart.
And threw it on the floor.
You stomped out all the love.
And walked away as if you never cared.

I'll always love her.
No matter what she does to me.
Feeling down whenever I think about her.
For I know not of what I did wrong.

Knowing I can never have her back.
Hurts me even more.
Cause thinking of you even now.
Makes life hurts more.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • Nephlim
    July 14, 2008

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    You switched tenses in the poem, did you mean to do that? It's interesting, but a little confusing . But your poems definitely aren't elementary shilly , but I think a lot of the same things about my old poems . I love how all the emotions compliment each other, love, hurt, the feeling of not knowing, pain, they all meld together nicely to give the poem a nice depth.
    GREAT job
    diggin it majorly


  • Daisuke
    May 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    My old writing seems so elementary. I can't believe some people even like it. Maybe they're just trying to seem nice and comment on crap


  • Bohemian Poser
    November 30, 2006
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    awww I really like this one. It's cute.


  • kim5519
    November 23, 2006

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    I hope that really didn't happen to you. It's sad. Very good. roses are violets are blue type of poem right. Very good. Such a brutal break. This from a ten year old wow.