I stopped what I was doing in shock. My ten-year-old daughter was demanding to know why she was suffering in her everyday life. The sadness of a thousand disappointments welling in her eyes, the broken breathing of a shattered soul in her chest, and I was drawing a complete blank. In such situations I have a little trick I use: stall for all I'm worth until I think of something.
"That's a very good question! I'm glad you asked me. I would be happy to discuss this with you, but I'm a little dry right now, would you mind going to the kitchen and getting us each a glass of water? Then we can sit down and get to the bottom of this."
She dutifully went to the kitchen, excited to hear what her dad, who was currently paralyzed with fear, was going to say to bring her comfort and make the hardness of her life diminish to where it was bearable. I looked out the window and wished I was somewhere else. Somewhere isolated and beautiful, where I could ignore this lump in my throat. Someplace where the universe seemed perfect and I would be inspired to know how to break the news that life is indeed hard, but not unbearable. I imagined myself on a beautiful mountaintop, surrounded by mountain flowers, fresh air, the hum of the native bugs and birds the only sounds. Then I saw myself beckoning me to come to this place.
"I'm ready, daddy." She handed me a glass so full of water it was impossible not to spill it in the hand-off. "Why is life so hard?"
Instinctively, I knew this was a watershed moment. What I do now will either establish my credibility as her answer man, or I was about to break my neck falling off her pedestal. Thinking quickly, I stalled again!
"This isn't exactly the right place for such an important discussion. Let's go for a ride and talk about this in a place that is perfect for fostering understanding. Why don't we get on some hiking clothes and go for a walk. We can discuss things there without any interruptions. OK?"
Like any ten-year-old, she was delighted to have the opportunity to have my undivided attention. She excitedly ran to her room to prepare. In a moment of sheer inspiration, I went to the shed and dug out the canteen. moments later, we were on our way.
It was a twenty minute drive to where we were going, Bradbury Mountain State Park, a beautiful and serene little mountain with a trail appropriate for walking and talking. I was able to stall further inquiry by saying it would be best to wait until we were on the trail, still worried that we would get there and I wouldn't have come up with a suitable answer.
When we began our walk, I asked for clarification on the question, determined to stall until I thought of something. She began a discourse worthy of a graduate student on the trials and tribulations of her life. Everything from preoccupied parents to bullies at school to overwhelming angst about death. Peppered throughout were questions about why things were this way. I skillfully deflected these questions, assuring her that all would become clear when we had finished providing the context for the question. This was a stroke of luck, as now I could spend five minutes stalling by explaining the concept of context.
Building off of my lucky mention of the word, I asked more questions on each of the subjects which she had mentioned, and carefully lead her to answers for each. That was promising, but having answers to hardships does not explain them away. I was still far short of fulfilling my promise. Fortunately, we were nearing the top. Unfortunately, I was still drawing a blank. It was at this moment that my stalling paid off, as we stepped over a small brook and she mentioned being thirsty. I had been inspired to bring the canteen, but not smart enough to fill it. I sighed as it came to me that there was a bubbling spring near the top of the mountain. I quickly removed the canteen and handed it to her.
"Follow the path around that corner and you will see a spring. Rinse the canteen twice and fill it. I will follow you."
As I expected, the previously exhausted child ran with glee around the corner and yelled, "I found it." I slowly walked the final steps, knowing that the time had come for me to put up or shut up. I quieted my mind and walked in silence. As soon as I saw her holding the canteen and smiling, I knew the answer. She was the answer. I couldn't possibly explain such a question. She must figure it out for herself. I can help, of course!
"Was this a fun walk?"
"This was fantastic!" She handed me the canteen and I took a long drink.
"Do you remember what we did just before we came here?"
"We... talked?" I shook the canteen at her. "We had a drink of water." She giggled.
"We've now had two drinks of water. Which one was harder to get?"
"This one was much harder!" She breathed hard to give the words dramatic effect.
"More fun, too?"
"Much more fun!" She replied, her eyes studying me to figure out where this was going.
"Well, then I'd say that life is hard to make it more fun. When you walked to the kitchen and got water, there was no challenge to that. Here on the mountain, you had to work hard for your water. You earned it and can take pride in your accomplishment. At home you just had water alone."
She looked at me like she had something in her mouth that she couldn't determine whether to swallow or spit out. She scanned the horizon and looked me in the eye.
"So, how does this answer my question?"
"Hardships can be looked at two ways. One way is to look at them as problems and feel sorry for yourself because you have the burden of them. The other way is to look at them as challenges to make your life more fun, to temper your spirit, and be thankful that you have something worthwhile to do."
Her face lit up like the sun rising. "If I don't want to, I don't have to have any more problems. I can have challenges instead!" She ran over and hugged me.
"We make a pretty good team, don't we?" I asked.
"We can do anything."
I believed her.
Author notes
This is a true story requested by my friend sous les femmes.
In a list
A contest entry
- dialogue by zillion.
600 points, ended June 29, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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"aroung"
I think you mean 'around'.
And there really isn't an answer to why life is so hard. -
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There most certainly is. It is like if you were to ask me why I am so stupid. It is a false question because I am not stupid. And "Why is life so hard?" is a false question, too. It is not hard at all, as demonstrated in the dialog. Thanks for your comment and your spelling correction.
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Marvelous write. SOmetimes in explaining life to pur children we develop a bettwe understanding...of them...of ourselves...and of life in general!
Bravo! -
You are the master storyteller. (humble and loving bow.)
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I copied it off a box of Cheerios. But, I'll take the credit...
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Answers ready --Questions asked.
God gives us the answers to all our questions. When we are clever enough to wait. And when we listen with all of our being. The answers are not far off and obscure; they are within our realm. You have listened well, and you had a bright and active "partner" in listeing.
I loved this story. Typical Allan, you told it with much suspence. And of course it added to the wonderment of the narrative. I am so glad you are preparing this for publication. The wisdom and charm of humor in here is precious and should be shared.
Well done, Poet.
Love
Always Myra
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Answers ready -- Questions asked.
I will confess that it is the greatest mystery to me, how when I need to, I can open my mouth and out comes something as surprising to me as it is to anyone else. Often, it is like hearing someone else speak in my voice. Hey! I'll take it...
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i enjoyed this a lot
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wow....loved this write..very excellent!...although it was a long write, it was worth reading. For grown ups, they tend to stall off questions being provided by childrens either because ONE:they are annoyed or TWO:they don't know how to answer...and the answer given to this child was great..n it is a good thing that she understood....
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Yes, most people don't know the answers to such questions because they are too busy knowing everything else. Thanks for the kind words.
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Amazing!!
You should, turn this into a childrens book as you said. This is simply fantastic. The story line is brilliant and your writing impeccable.
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Amazing!!
Well, well... Thank you for the compliment. I will do the same for you.
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Such a wonderful lovely story you have here, I really am at loss for words. I liked how you stalled and yet the answer came to her clearly as can be. Great style dad. be proud of yourself as well as your daughter.....
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Love This
Being a mom with a capital M I know how hard
it is to watch your child hurt, how helpless
you feel to change things. Thank you for the inspiring
story.
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Love This
Yeah! Stalling is an art that I have mastered. Thanks.
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This was a very loveing write and I can remember a walk with my daddy in the same sense
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! tuching answer !
wow...well to start off I want to say that was a vary good well said statement because the age I am, man, I still have questions like that myself. To be real I don't know where my father is right now but hey I'm still going because I can't stop and if I do I'm going to get hurt. I loved the peom... keep it up! -
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Touching answer
I would be happy to answer any question you have to the best of my ability. You know where to find me.
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This was excellent. I especially liked these lines/
"Hardships can be looked at two ways. One way is to look at them as problems and feel sorry for yourself because you have the burden of them. The other way is to look at them as challenges to make your life more fun, to temper your spirit, and be thankful that you have something worthwhile to do."
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this was amazing. thank you so much, it made my thanksgiving day
now i'm going to think of my problems as challenges. <3 i love you immensely.
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Now you know how your stories make me feel. Feel free to ask anytime.
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i most definitely will. i hope you have an amazing thanksgiving. and know that you're one of the people i'm very thankful for having a pleasure of talking to.
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Awww
this is an awesome story, kind of silly, and longish, but also sweet, and the ending rocked 
i liked teh meaning
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
Your friend wrote a nice story
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Thanks. You rock!
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Absolutely Amazing
This was a beautiful story, inspiring without a doubt. I know that there will be alot of questions my daughter will have regarding some of my decisions, and with her own life as well, as for now the only question she has is of her skin color, which she has come to accept as being beautiful brown. I only hope that I can offer answers with as much grace as you did, I think I would have choked had my little one just come out of the blue with a question like that. You did a great job. I love this piece, and you. Merry Part and Blessed Be.
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Absolutely Amazing
You know the process. You will do fine. I have faith in you. Thanks for the kind words.
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so much to learn in our life and this might sound strange but I swear I just have almost this same conversaion with my 15 old daughter the other night Wow Your answer is much better than what I came up with but close to the same thing I'm so glad to have found this and by the way I found it in that new spotlight feature someone promoted to there just to let you know...Great write
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Blondone
Thanks for the 411, and thanks for the comment.
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Happy tears!
Thanks for starting my thanksgivings day this way. I had no idea what the answer was going to be and was waiting with baited breath...and you sure didn't disappoint! This right here is why I love you my friend!
xxoo
dk
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Happy Tears!
That's how I felt the whole time. I was stressing, but got there eventually.
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exelent
ooh i just loved this, a great read thank you for sharing this with us..see you can write some pretty serious but great work when you put your mind to it,keep it up my friend.its stuff like this that sells
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exelent
OK> How much you give me for it?
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WOW!
This is by far THE BEST piece of your work i have ever read, im lost for words AL, what a fantastic mind you have. Now you know why i call you Guru. Such wisdom my friend
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WOW!
Thanks. I am working on turning this short story into a children's book.
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