A rose of bruised, purple petals
Spins between these fingers, tonight;
It spins the way she did that day,
Dancing into the deep night...
I watched her then, in silent awe,
For the beauty she thoughtlessly cast.
Before the oak and willow alike,
She swayed so serene, yet so fast!
From her seraphic locks bequeathed to the breeze,
A perfume I shall not forget...
The pride of all flora, dahlia to daisy,
Her dryad likeness was wont to beget.
It sang to my senses like the nymphs of her court,
Which paraded about her bare feet,
So gentle upon the growing, green grass,
Striving to make her a seat.
But dance on she did while extending her reach
To pluck a purple pendulum;
It scattered the crystals of morning dew
Like notes from a lyre to strum.
Across that garden led her enchanting stride,
Toward my shadowy side;
Never before had such loveliness walked,
Only she, my meadow-born bride.
Lifting her hand, as of softest moonbeams,
She adorned my midnight hair
With the token pulled from immortal boughs,
With her slightest caress, so fair!
And that slightest caress sent me whirling,
As if in vile mockery,
But my heart was surely set a-flutter
That she, in-turn, loved me.
Dance away the light of day,
Did my muse and I that eve;
Below the crest of journeying stars,
A phantasmal dream we did weave...
And today I recall that landscape of yore,
Where my dryad queen woke me to dream.
Though years have withered my frame like the shores,
In the depths of my eyes, that night still does gleam.
And the flower she gave me, a tune on my ear,
Has yet to succumb to the tortures of time;
Within its spell-wreathed, yet dew-gilded petals,
To her balcony I shall forever climb...
Author notes
<--- there should be a flower right here, I just can't put it there. ^_^
A contest entry
- Spin a tale of romance to win this fair maidens heart.... by Nature Song.
600 points, ended December 10, 2006, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Amid the Myth (2) ~ "Innocent" Smiles by x Gemini x.
300 points, ended December 6, 2007, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Thank you for entering my contest.
I'm highly impressed with the word usage, and imagery.
But, I'm a bit concerned about the flow. It seemed almost "drunk", with a choppy rhythm that seemed to sway. "Her dryad likeness was wont to beget", in particular, snagged me. It may also be the phrasing, switching around words that is technically, grammatically, incorrect, and with complex vocabulary that would make most readers double-take.
It was a wonderful tale, though! Quite lovely put, original and intriguing.
I enjoyed it! ^.^ -
great write, lovely imagery and wording. you never cease to amaze with your superb writing skills
-
You. Are. Amazing. As always. =)
Much love
-Jade
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I enjoyed reading this--absolutely beautiful! The imagery was quite elegant and rich with its subtle rhyme. Had this been written for me to spin me a tale of romance, it would have definitely won this maiden's heart. All my best and have my fingers crossed it will captivate the contest, Belle
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